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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

or is it the most selfish and rudest thing to think you're entitled to take up two seats at rush hour??!!

51 replies

Silverb1rch · 30/07/2013 17:38

Just that really. I get the train to and from work every day and it's amazing how many times I have to ask someone 'Can I sit there?' after they've sat on the end seat or dumped their small bag next to them. I can understand if the train is empty but at packed rush hour?! Everyone ends up standing near the doors! Why does anyone have a right to take up two seats???!! Arghhh! (Can you tell I've just got off the train!;))

OP posts:

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 30/07/2013 20:45

I love politely getting people to move their bags when they obviously didn't want to. It gives me a pathetic satisfaction that they were forced into being helpful. I sometimes sit and smile to myself . Sad really

MrsBertMacklin · 30/07/2013 20:50

A related bugbear. Someone sitting on the aisle seat, whose idea of moving to allow someone else to get in or out, is to angle their knees ever so slightly. I respect you preference for an aisle seat and that you were there first but FFS no-one is going to do a ninja-steal on your seat if you step into the aisle for 2 seconds to allow access.

My stock response now is "Unless you want me to give you a lapdance, you're going to have to get up to let me out, I'm afraid" complete with simpering smile.

Pozzled · 30/07/2013 20:55

I like that response MrsBert. I get the bus to work and always move over to the window seat when it gets busy ( sitting awkwardly so my huge work bag is only an incovenience to me). I have been astonished by people who then won't even stand briefly to let me out. What do they expect me to do, climb over them?

wibblyjelly · 30/07/2013 20:57

I may get flamed for this, but it really annoys me when on a crowded train there is a toddler and their parent sat on separate seats. They haven't paid for the toddler, so the toddler should either be in their pram, or sat on the parents lap.

TheBookofRuth · 30/07/2013 21:03

I always used to just march to the seat and start sitting - they moved their bags sharpish once they realised what I was doing.

Pozzled · 30/07/2013 21:10

I don't see why you would get flamed for that, wibblyjelly. DD1 is almost 5 but she knows perfectly well she can only have her own seat when the train is quiet- as soon as it gets busier she has to sit on my lap.

Iamsparklyknickers · 30/07/2013 21:13

I agree with you wibbly, it's about letting everybody have a bit of room. This time of year I see a lot of parents make the mistake of using peak hour(s) public transport (well I presume it's a mistake I can't believe anyone would choose to end a day out like that ) and they don't seem to realise how many people will cram themselves onto a bus/train/tram just to get home.

Frankly I'd rather have a child on my lap rather than risk an avalanche of commuters lose their balance and fall on them. Seen that one happen on a particularly lurchy bus journey.

gintastic · 30/07/2013 21:14

I pay for my toddler even though I don't need to as I have a baby as well, who sits on my lap. I just can't get both of them on my lap at one time!

hamab · 30/07/2013 21:23

I used to hate it. Some people are so selfish. I remember asking to sit on a inside seat once - you know one of those 4 round a table. And a young girl opposite, all dressed up in her posh suit, who was slumped down in her seat with her legs in both leg spaces, point blank refused to move her feet for the entire journey. What a selfish arse. She just sort of snarled at me. I just thought - is she paying for two seats - where do these people get off. If you're out there, yes I too paid 4k for my ticket that year. Many sympathies op.

wibblyjelly · 30/07/2013 21:38

ham I'd have sat on her feet!
Glad other people agree with me, but I've seen posts on similar threads where as their child is sooo tired, they deserve a seat. No, they deserve a seat on your lap. Although, as gin has pointed out, slightly different if you have more than one child with you. I don't mind it then, otherwise it could become an epic game of 'how many kids can I fit on my lap!'

Itchywoolyjumper · 30/07/2013 21:43

Couple of weeks ago I was on a packed train from Glasgow where 2 girls had managed to take up 8 seats between them, their mahooosive cases and their lovely hand bags, on a train with loads of luggage space.
Glaswegians are not the most shy and retiring folk on the earth. It was quietly amusing to see person after person come on and hand them it back piece by piece, squashing the pair of them nearly flat.

hamab · 30/07/2013 21:46

Although you do occasionally meet an absolute gem on the train. I remember coming home on a train a few years ago - there were a load of Swindon football supporters on the train. One of them, a lady, got up and offered me her seat. I'm not sure why - maybe because I had a 4 year old, maybe because I have IBS and always look pregnant. Anyway I asked if my df could have it. He had terminal cancer at the time and he'd dearly wanted to come out for the day, but we'd overdone it. He was about to collapse with exhaustion. I'm so grateful to that lady - it saved my df's dignity that day.

Hulababy · 30/07/2013 21:50

I used to pay for a seat for DD even before she was 5y in order for her to have her own seat. Mind you - was always done online and therefore normally had a reserved seat for us both. I think a lot of people do this, especially for longer journeys.

wibblyjelly · 30/07/2013 21:55

It's different if you've paid for a ticket for a child, but if they have gotten on for free I don't believe they should automatically get a seat.

raisah · 30/07/2013 22:16

I got on a packed commuter train once & miracously found a seat so I made my way over. Once I got there I found a woman fast asleep on the aisle seat with her bags plonked on the seat next to her. So I had to stand all the way to Charing Cross.

Another time, I was sat on an aisle seat reading my book when I heard shouting. I looked up to see a woman waving her stilleto shoe at another women & screaming that she would blind her with it. All because the other woman asked her to move down the aisle to make more room for people to get on.

raisah · 30/07/2013 22:18

I do find women more hostile than men over the seating issue.

gintastic · 30/07/2013 22:19

Hulababy - I always do this, it means you can use a family railcard (for the trains, anyway). The journey I do regularly is expensive enough that doing it once saves more than the railcard costs IYSWIM. I go twice a year ish so definitely worth it! I now have 3 DC's, so I usually buy 1 adult and 2 child tickets. 1 child is over 5 so has to have one anyway, the other is 3.5 and really needs a seat for a long journey especially with baby on my lap.

However when the train is v v v crowded I do sometimes make the 2 oldest squash into one seat if there is someone who really needs it. We had a man with a broken leg once and no one else would give up a seat for him - he was in plaster on crutches FFS!

I think lots of people in close proximity does tend to bring out the worst in some people...

apostropheuse · 30/07/2013 22:24

When I was coming home from work today there were two women - mother and grandmother - with two children sitting at a table for four. I had to stand all the way home - this was during the rush hour of course.

The thing that really frustrated me was that the younger child's buggy was sitting empty beside the table.

Surely common decency says you would give someone a seat and let the younger child sit in his buggy.

I do despair at times.

bico · 30/07/2013 22:26

If a man is airing his balls on the seat next to mine I tend to find that my leg he is resting his leg on gets an itch every time his leg touches mine. Usually after a bit of scratching they get the hint and put their legs together.

On the tube this morning I was standing by a seat when the woman sitting decided to get off. The seat was equally up for grabs for either me or the man next to me. He elbowed me in the head to ensure he got there first! Another man saw what happened and very loudly offered me his seat instead!

HollaAtMeBaby · 30/07/2013 23:08

I don't even mind people putting their bags on the empty seat, but I do mind having to ask them if they will move their things. I always do this, even if there are empty seats (next to people) available, just to piss them off!

Er, who made you the seat police? Anyone who tries that on me gets a flat refusal and a hard London stare until they shuffle off to sit their self-righteous busybody ass somewhere else. If there are spare seats and nobody standing, putting bags on empty seats does nobody any harm at all.

FesterAddams · 31/07/2013 02:01

Anyone who tries that on me gets a flat refusal and a hard London stare

Anyone who tries that on me gets their bag sat on.

everlong · 31/07/2013 02:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MammaTJ · 31/07/2013 03:52

I once got on a bus with my then 6 year old DD1. There was 1 seat left and it was occupied by a box. I asked the lady to remove it so my DD could sit down.

She refused, saying 'It's precious'

I told her if she though it was more precious than my DD she was very much mistaken and if she didn't move it so she could sit down and be safe, then I would!

YANBU!

everlong · 31/07/2013 04:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MammaTJ · 31/07/2013 04:43

She said it was a dinner service. Not squishable but very smashable.

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