Woman on bus told me to move seats because she was allergic to my cats. Who was BU?

[EweHaveGoatToBeKiddin]

Just in from the vets and rushing to get dinner sorted so shall make this quick-ish.

My kittens had a check up today at the vets. I don't drive, so me and dd took the bus with them in their pet carrier.

A woman was blocking the aisle with her legs out and shopping trolley so i asked if she could please move to let us by. She made a face as she looked at my pet carrier but finally moved and let us sit in the two seats behind her.

Then she starts coughing. After a minute of it, she turned round and informed me she's highly allergic of cats and they cause her breathing difficulties. I apologised and said I'd put them on the floor by my feet instead of on my lap, but she said that would't make any difference. She suggested i find somewhere else to sit.

The bus was unusually busy. There were only two seats left, but they weren't together. One had a dripping wet carrier bag on it (looked like a tub of spilled curry sauce inside) and the other was at the back of the bus between a group of loud (seemed very drunk to me) people playing music and talking about not so nice things...

I told her that dd won't sit on my lap and I needed two seats together so would be staying put.

Next time the bus stopped, she got up to speak to the driver! She didn't even try being quiet. I was mortified. She said that she was struggling to breathe because of my manky cats and that they shouldn't be allowed on public transport. And that her shopping is covered in fur now.

The driver asked her repeatedly to sit down, there's nothing he could do. Then he asked me how much further i was going. I told him still a fair bit, as the vets is in a different town. After another few minutes of arguing, the driver firmly told her to sit down or she'd need to get off.

Everyone was laughing at this point. The people up the back were calling crude things down to me thinking they were hilarious. ("I don't mind your pussy being on board etc etc")

Anyway, she sat back down and we set off again. She sat there swearing under her breath and coughing. Three stops later, she got up again and demanded a refund as she had to get off now or else she'd get seriously ill.

I'm not undermining allergies in any way, but what was i supposed to do? The driver said he doesn't do refunds as he doesn't handle the money and she'd have to write to head office. Ten minutes of arguing later, she got off.

I was 20 minutes late for my appointment because of her! Luckily i had a double appointment booked, but it meant the vet had to rush and do two cats in the space of one.

So, dare i ask? Who was BU? Please say it wasn't me. I feel rotten about it already. But i don't know what i could have done differently.

[alreadytaken]

let me present the opposing view on this - a woman is sitting on a bus when someone gets on with a cat carrier. She must have had trouble getting the cats in because there is fur all over it. Although there is plenty of room to get past my shopping trolley - which I admit is in the aisle - she asks me to move it so she can get past and rests her cat carrier on it so the fur goes on my shopping. She then sits down behind me. I ask her to move because I'm allergic to cats and I'm already beginning to have problems. She refuses and I cant move to the other vacant seats because I have poor heath and need to sit in the seats near the door. When I start to have breathing problems I complain to the driver but he wont make her move further away. It takes me 10 minutes to talk to him because I have to fight to get the words out as I'm having breathing problems. Eventually I have to get off the bus and wait an hour for the next one or call someone to pick me up. My breathing doesnt return to normal until I get home or I had to call an ambulance and was taken to a&e.

Was the cat allergic woman wrong not to move - yes but she was in seats that suggest she may have been in poor health. Does that justify the OP being a shit - no. The bus stopped several times, maybe more people got off and they could both have moved later. OP was still VU to assume the woman was lying about her allergy and refuse to move and if this wasn't in AIBU the OP would have been told that.

[Sirzy]

So her health was poor enough she couldn't take a couple of steps to another seat but not poor enough she couldn't walk to the driver and have complain to him? Out of curiosity what sort of health problem would cause that to be the case?

[Justforlaughs]

You know what, I've just read through this thread again, and thought, why did the driver not remove the group of loud, aggressive and abusive people from the back of the bus. Would that not be the sensible thing to do? They are preventing other people from sitting down near them and making other passengers uncomfortable.

[alreadytaken]

Sirzy the sort that makes it difficult for you going up steps, the vacant seat was at the back of the bus.

[Sirzy]

What steps? sounds like you are making assumptions to me! Who mentioned there being any steps on the bus? Buses here have no steps other than the ones to get on!

[alreadytaken]

fortunately I dont usually travel on buses, the last one I went on had steps to the back. I dont know why she didnt move but the OP wasnt prepared to move to that seat was she, why should she expect someone else to do so? I come back to someone else being a shit doesnt justify the OP being one too.

[Sirzy]

Why should the OP have moved? She was allowed to be on the bus, she was sat in the only place on the bus that seats were suitable for her and her child. She was doing nothing wrong!

[ClaraOswald]

Just going to point out that at no time does the OP state that she placed her carrier anywhere near the shopping. She had the carrier on her lap when the.obnoxious person let her pass and could sit down.

[YouTheCat]

If the woman had an allergy that bad that just being on the same busy would set her off, surely she should take some responsibility for herself and take medication?

She sounds like a loony.

Already, have you read the OP's comments at all? The OP needed 2 seats together for her and her dd who is too young/has ASD to sit on her own. Much simpler for the silly woman to move.

[alreadytaken]

sure I read the post - just didnt automatically assume either that it was the entire story or that it was all true.

As to why she should move - why not? There was no mention of ASD in the initial post. Her cats were causing someone such severe health problems that they had to leave the bus. The OP caused the problem by taking the cats on the bus and hence should try to mitigate the damage. She didnt. The other person should have moved but the OP was also behaving badly and her only concern was that she was late for her appointment.

[Sirzy]

But the OP was allowed to take the cats on the bus. Plenty of things are allergens to people are we going to ban them all from public transport? The OP did nothing wrong, it was the other woman with the problem not her

[Emilythornesbff]

Sorry alreadytaken nice try but OP WNBU. Even with your eloquent reverse aibu. The "allergic" woman was being difficult.
That is all.

[alreadytaken]

The presence of the cats was making someone ill. The OPs actions were therefore causing pain to another person. She could have avoided that but chose not to. That is sadistic. However I have better things to do than continue a debate with those who think such behaviour is reasonable.

[Emilythornesbff]

No it's not sadistic. You are overreacting and your comment sounds a little ridiculous tbh. Sorry if that sounds rude.
The OP did nothing wrong by bringing her cats on to the bus.
The allergic woman could have moved. It was not reasonable for the OP to move in the given situation.
Accepting the OP's OP (which I do on aibu unless it has glaring holes) the allergic woman was being difficult. IMHO.

[sameoldIggi]

Our busdrivers wouldn't allow a shopping trolley (or buggy, suitcase etc) to block the aisle at all. Tis a health n safety issue.

[BurnThisDiscoDown]

I have asthma and strong perfume can set off an attack. When I was catching the train to work and back I would quite frequently end up near someone wearing strong perfume. I would use my inhaler then move if that didn't work. I wouldn't have dreamed of asking the perfume wearer to move, apart from being precious on my part, why does my right not to move trump theirs? We've both paid for tickets, but my health issue is my responsibility.

Op, ywnbu, if she was able to march up and down the bus complaining she was able to move seats.

[DizzyZebra]

YANBU.
I had a woman complain about my dog once. She tried to claim she was allergic to it, Which was highly unlikely due to the breed.

Bus driver basically told her to do one and everyone had a good laugh at her being a dick.

[mrsruffallo]

YABU
I have a severe cat allergy and it probably would have made me cough. I sense that you weren't as reasonable as you appear in your OP either. Just a feeling.

[FreudiansSlipper]

YABU

when cats are nervous they shed a lot of fur

I would have moved her allergy sounds quite bad yes she was stroppy but those who have cat allergies can avoid them most of the time she couldn't in this instance so it would have been fair for you to be more considerate

[DizzyZebra]

It's called public transport for a reason though, and ost companies allow animals on board, provided they are properly restrained and under control.

I am allergic to certain body sprays but i couldn't ask someone wearing one of them to get off the bus.

It's one of the risks you take by using public services. OP was not doing anything wrong by having her pet there.

[YouTheCat]

But surely if you have an allergy that bad (and the fact is you may well end up sitting next to a crazy cat lady who is covered in cat hair on public transport) you'd take some antihistamines as a precaution?

FS, the OP had nowhere to move to with her child and pet carrier as she needed to sit with her kid because she is young and is on the spectrum. Much easier for the deranged moaner to move imo.

[Itsaburrdiee]

I'm very allergic to cats but it's my problem and I wouldn't inconvenience others because of it. I don't think cats in a carrier a few seats away would bother me to be honest and if they did I would move.

[FreudiansSlipper]

if someone is coughing their allergy is bad

your cats are the cause you do the nice thing and move

should she have moved to the back of the bus because cute likkle puddy cats have got on

When I have taken my cat to the vet his fur does escape all over the car from his cat box, they shed fur when they are nervous

[snotfunny]

YANBU. This would not have been an issue at all if she had handled it entirely differently. What would have happened if she had turned to you and calmly said: 'I'm very sorry. I know the bus is really busy, but I am beginning to have an allergic reaction to your cats. There's no where else Zi can sit because of...(insert reason here). Is there any way your cats could be moved further away from me, please?'

I suspect that in this case, the OP and possibly the other passengers would have found a solution. I know that had I heard such an exchange I would have offered to swap seats.

The over dramatic complaining and telling tales to the driver and exaggerating the extent of fur coverage would have marked her out as a loon and the other passengers would automatically be less inclined to help out.

You couldn't move even if you had wanted to, OP, without the co-operation of other passengers. It was an unfortunate situation, but I don't think it was your fault, OP.

[PresidentServalan]

YADNBU!! I have allergies and would move if I was near something which could set them off. Plus you had kittens - that trumps everything