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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What is wrong with describing someone as Asian?

347 replies

ProudAS · 30/07/2013 11:37

It's what the person is and not being used in a derogatory manner. My colleague felt he had to whisper though when describing another colleague to me.

I fail to see how describing someone by their ethnicity is any different to describing them by their gender.

OP posts:
LimitedEditionLady · 30/07/2013 18:32

I went to a mixed ethnic primary and we did the nativity still and then we also had an eid day and during a christmas assembly we did celebrations from around the world.I loved it.Hope my child will get to do that sort of thing at school.

squalorvictoria · 30/07/2013 18:36

Some people think that describing another person as Asian, or black, or some other racial descriptor, is racist.

It isn't.

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 30/07/2013 18:43

Three, you may know for a fact that someone is chinese, that isnt the problem I was referring to though, which I thought was clear enough in my first post anyway, but was definitely clarified in the later posts.

breatheslowly · 30/07/2013 19:02

These threads always remind me of the Little Britain sketches where David Walliams' character tries really hard to avoid mentioning the race of a student and then eventually uses really inappropriate, racist language to describe them.

curlew · 30/07/2013 19:22

"Some people think that describing another person as Asian, or black, or some other racial descriptor, is racist."

So long as the descriptor is accurate, nobody sensible would think this.

MrsDeVere · 30/07/2013 20:02

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LimitedEditionLady · 30/07/2013 20:43

I would love to know who "they" are too.I presumed these "theys" were part of a bigger plan like some kind of education scruntiniser.These annoying "they" people that make sheep pink and spoil traditions such as the nativity.I can imagine there were parents really upset that they didnt get to put a tea towel on their childs head.Its one of those milestones that people look forwars too

MrsDeVere · 30/07/2013 20:55

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LimitedEditionLady · 30/07/2013 21:03

Well i read that some schools havent had them?
I remember not being allowed to read charlottes web as a class as it had a pig in it when I was small.Now thats got to have been a teacher that wouldnt allow it.

MrsDeVere · 30/07/2013 21:15

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LimitedEditionLady · 30/07/2013 21:42

Yes it does have something to do with having a pig in it.The teacher said that we werent reading it as a class story as it has a pig in it!So yes I am saying that,not particulary to you.And it wasnt an issue to read it individually in class,the teacher said that was fine so what you are saying about bereavement wasnt an issue.
Yes i often make wild assumptions as I am not intelligent enough to make my own decisions and conclusions about things so I come on here so you can educate me because my opinions and experiences are inferior to yours.Even when I have just said something has happened you are trying to tell me that is not what happened.How would you know?

MrsDeVere · 30/07/2013 21:48

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LimitedEditionLady · 30/07/2013 21:50

Ok I will just because you have told me to.

MrsDeVere · 30/07/2013 21:59

This reply has been deleted

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limitedperiodonly · 30/07/2013 22:02

When I was a young reporter an ethnically-mixed primary school substituted chapati man for gingerbread man in the 'Run, run, as fast as you can...' nursery rhyme which prompted anger amongst some white parents, who were in the minority.

This was one of the softer-Left London boroughs. However, I was involved in local politics and there were some fucking loonies in the local Labour Party. More to do with their personalities than their politics.

The school didn't explain themselves to me, which was their prerogative. I suspect they did it because most of their pupils didn't know what gingerbread was, whatever their skin colour. But it could have been over-enthusiasm. Who knows?

It would have been a sensible move for the headteacher or someone from the council to have given a calm explanation because that would have neutered a 'pc gorn mad' story. BTW, it was before we learned to call it political correctness.

It also would have reassured those white parents who felt marginalised and spiked the guns of those who just wanted a ruck.

It would have been an even better idea to ask the Bengali children to come up with their own nursery rhymes. That way they could include and educate everybody. Peace and love and all that shit.

It's always best to explain things. Often it gets ignored but if you have a policy of never speaking, your message is never going to get out.

BTW I did draw the line at reporting one mother's complaints that her DD wasn't taught the Lord's Prayer at school. I learned that at church. To my mind that's where you should learn it.

My editor was always keen to stir up discord where none existed but as a committed Christian he'd have probably agreed with that one. Anyway, I didn't give him the chance.

LimitedEditionLady · 30/07/2013 22:04

I find it quite refreshing that you havent managed to give a patronising lecture after my last post.

FreudiansSlipper · 30/07/2013 22:05

nothing is wrong wit

LyraSilvertongue · 30/07/2013 22:10

Limited, I was also told "that didn't happen". I know it did because I wrote the stories. This was in the mid 90s in Luton.

FreudiansSlipper · 30/07/2013 22:14

nothing is wrong with describing someone as asian if it is relevant

most asians i know will describe someone as bengali, sinhalese and so on or from the country they are (probably) from

LimitedEditionLady · 30/07/2013 22:14

Lycrasilvertongue Smile

LyraSilvertongue · 30/07/2013 22:21

Lyra Wink

limitedperiodonly · 30/07/2013 22:28

Nothing to do with race but to do with the bee in my bonnet about explanations and paying people you've just met the courtesy that they will report you fairly.

An adoption worker from the same borough explained why she sometimes placed children with gay people.

She found it sensible to place girls who'd been sexually abused by men and possibly manipulated by male family or friends into being sexually provocative - for want of a better word - with gay women.

She said she didn't want to place such girls with a heterosexual couple or one with teenage boys because the girls might not understand how to behave around men who didn't want to abuse them.

And she didn't want to plonk them with a heterosexual single woman because she didn't think it was fair to ask the woman never to form a relationship for the duration of the placement.

With a gay woman the girl got the chance to experience life with a loving person who didn't want to use her and could teach her things about life and love. That made me very tearful at the time and it still does, because that's what I had, and that's what everyone deserves.

We didn't get on to boys and gay men but I'm sure there are similar reasons.

I'm really glad she explained that to me because I was 22 and didn't have a clue.

I wrote about it and it was groundbreaking and led to a journalistic prize and a research study in my fucking dreams Grin But no matter. Every little helps.

I apologise to anyone who's read that and thinks: 'Yeah, I knew that, love' Grin

Some people don't get things though, do they?

LimitedEditionLady · 30/07/2013 22:29

Haha sorry!lyra

babybarrister · 30/07/2013 22:35

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LyraSilvertongue · 30/07/2013 22:40

Babybarrister, the poster explained why to her it's offensive to be called Chinese when she's not. Family history etc. I assume you're referring to her.