To think its a bit rude to cancel a party and not tell everyone?

[MumfordAndSon]

My dc was given a party invitation on the last day of school (June) I text the number to say I wasn't sure what shift I would be working but I would confirm nearer the time, she said that was no problem. Now, the party is tomorrowy and I'm not working so I text the mum yesterday to confirm my dc will be coming.

She has just sent me a text telling me it's cancelled due to low numbers. It's quite a bit away, 20 mile round trip. I've used my last 20 quid for petrol and a present ( I do get paid on Wed so no major problem but still annoying)

She said sorry for not letting me know but she deleted my first text and so she didn't have my number. She also asked me to let two other people know as she had lost their numbers too.

AIBU here to think its a bit out of order? Surely she could have at least tried to find a contact somehow? We do have mutual friends on FB so that was even an option.

To be fair she probably had people not getting in touch due to the holidays and forgetting about a party invite, and confirming the day before is quite short notice!

Sorry but I think its a bit late from you to text her that they are coming the day before the party. Presumably she needs to know numbers sooner than that especially if its at a venue! unless you literally just found out your shifts (which seems unlikely) I think you are just as unreasonable as her

She probably took the "I will let you know" as a no and assumed you weren't going as she hadn't heard from you until 48 hours before the party.

And she presumably thought you'd said you would let her know and she'd tell you at that point. I think you need to take the fact you chose to fill the car up and buy a present before you bothered to tell her your DC would be coming on the chin.

Well to be truthful if you hadn't confirmed before 48 hours before, I'd have expected you to have been a no.

No wonder she cancelled due to low numbers; there were probably loads planning to go but didn't bother to actually say so.

Why would you confirm the day before? Even if it's not an outside venue; catering, party bags, etc., still have to be organised and it'd be pretty difficult to gauge quantities if everyone left it till the day before the party to respond.

I think she would assume you'd have your shifts about a week in advance rather than the day before so counted you as a 'no response'.

I'm with the other's. Very late notice of you to let her know. She must have assumed you weren't coming. I bet she felt mortified about the lost numbers. That poor child, having a party cancelled due low numbers. Poor thing. It is the trouble with August parties, so many people are away.

It's not great that she lost the numbers and didn't think of another way to get in touch.

But I think letting her know the day before the party isn't ideal either, especially as you had enough time to shop and plan before you contacted her.

If she's booking places or working out a budget she would have needed to know before you sent your text. Was the day before the party the absolute earliest you knew you could go?

you were rude, in thinking it was OK to confirm this close to the party! she may have had all her catering and party bags etc sorted and can't cope with half a dozen last minute replies

as it is, the poor woman had to cancel her kids party because of people like you not letting her know. that poor child!

(party invitation rudeness is a real pet hate of mine!)

I had a birthday party on Saturday for my ds. The maximum number allowed was 20 ( was hiring a host doing facepaints, games etc and paying for her to entertain 20 children).
Once our kids and family friends were counted in he was picking about 6 children from school so we stuck to the boys who were in his class and also attend beavers with him to keep it fair.

Two of them I didnt have number for but a friend did and passed on the invite me. They then returned to say thank you for invite, see you then.

Didn't turn up. Totally rude and unfair as if I had known they weren't going to come I would have allowed ds to invite 2 of his other school friends.
It also upset ds (albeit briefly) as he was waiting on these 2 friends turning up and they were a no show.

I would have preferred the parent to say to me in advance that no sorry they can't come. And if they had said to me the day before I'd have been just as annoyed - more so if they had already told me they would be in touch...

I would assume you were not coming if you had left it until a day or 2 before to confirm.

Fair enough, I can accept I'm BU. I did only find out my shifts yesterday hence me only letting her know yesterday. I feel sorry that the party has been cancelled too. I'll drop of the present tomorrow.