To find mealtimes with dn's difficult and not really know what to do

[IfIonlyhadsomesleep]

Having a fortnight away with my dh's family and ours. Our niece and nephew are generally lovely, older and do more screen time than ours ideally would but we get ours out and about so not too dufficult. Mealtimes are feeling really difficult. My bil'schildren never eat the meal provided and have either pizza, chicken nuggets and chips or fish fingers and chips. We like our dc to eat the family meal and its generally things they will eat. The trouble is they would prefer to eat what their cousins have, fairly naturally. Our eight year old gets it really. Our four year old refused to eat any supper today.
Should we just let them eat a rotation of fish fingers, nuggets and pizza for the fortnightor stick to what we would normally do?
The other children also refuse non branded food and only eat pink lady apples. Ours are given the non brands because they will eat them, but would much prefer the branded. I feel wrong asking though, as my in laws refuse food money and are basically paying our food bill for two weeks.

TBH I would just let them all do the same for a fortnight. It is only a fortnight, your in laws are buying it anyway for the other kids and if it was a problem they would take the money you offered I'm sure. It won't do them any harm for a fortnight, you're not going to convince your BIL to change what his kids do and I can understand why it would be difficult for your kids if they were seeing their cousins get a lot of what they consider 'treats' whilst they are told they can't have them.

It's only 2 weeks, let it go and let them eat the crap.

I'd let it go on holiday. Pink lady apples are yum.

But surely if you let them eat crap for 2 weeks, when you get home that is all they will demand?? Never underestimate the power of the food-refusing child!

I'd let it go for a fortnight and let them eat with their cousins. They can demand crap when they get home, you just ignore them and tell them that when they're old enough to cook and pay for dinner they can eat what they want.

Same thing happens with my kids when we are on holiday & I give up and let.them do what they want for a week or so.

To get around your PILs not accepting food money, you could do a top up shop half way through the holiday. Either shop yourself or arrange for an online delivery so that way they can't refuse.

Explain before you go that this is a holiday and you are happy for them to eat what their cousins eat but when you come home things will revert to normal. Tbh my kids always knew that holidays were for relaxing the normal rules and never, ever pushed it when they got home.

Just relax your standards.

I have this trouble with an amazing amount of my friends. Some seem to just cook separate kid's meals by default and ASSUME the kids won't like Thai curry or even plain adult type food. My DC are always when offered some old shite in place of the good stuff...but often they eat what they're given as they wouldn't complain...I then give them some of mine.

however...in this case, I would let it go and just let your DC eat as they choose for a fortnight. Offer both

Pizzas can be good if you buy the bases (making your own bases is yummier but too much fangle on holiday) make a tomato sauce for the base and buy a variety of toppings so everyone can make up pizzas and have it with a salad. That is fun for kids and adults. The adults can be sophisticated and have artichokes and olives whilst the kids choose pepperoni

I'd be pissed off actually. 2 weeks is a bloody long time to be eating crap. A long weekend I'd be fine with but after 2 weeks of shit at least one of my kids would be constipated and another would be refusing point blank to eat our usual fare on our return home.

Tricky situation regarding the money though and I do understand that makes you feel a bit stuck.

Any way of tactfully raising the issue, something about cooking separate meals being hard work and since it is a holiday you'd love to come up with a menu plan to suit everyone?

I wouldn't let my kids eat crap for 2 whole weeks. 2 days maybe, but weeks? That diet would make me feel tired, sick and bloated so I can only imagine it would have the same effect on others.

If they refuse to eat their dinner then tough. Kowtowing to your BIL's way of doing things only asserts that it is the right thing to do IMO.

I think if it is explained as 'just for the holidays' your kids will be happy to go back to their usual food when they go home. They could also eat a bit of veg or whatever with their chicken nuggets!

How about letting them have junk every other day as a compromise ?? So if they eat your food without fuss one night they get free choice the next day ??

I think the meal issue would make me reluctant to spend more than a week with them again, although as your kids get older they'll want to eat the more interesting food anyway if they are used to it. Mine rejected the kids menu in pubs as "boring" before they were too old for it.
Yours may be bored of kids meals before the holiday is over, I'd say no to expensive apples, I've never heard of pink ladies though outside of Rizzo & co

TBH if this is such a big issue for you then you should never have agreed to a holiday with them in the first place. It can't be a surprise to you that you have different parenting styles.

I would just relax for the week and let the dc's have freezer surprise every day so's not to cause a jealousy problem with their cousins.

It would pain me to do so tho. I get incredibly frustrated whenever I take mine out to eat, and they choose some tasteless breadcrumbed shite over far tastier and more appetising (to me, obv) meals.

Hmm, I would let them eat the same as the others sometimes but not every night... could you speak to inlaws and agree a compromise some nights eg fishfingers with mash and peas? And make sure there is always some veg on the plate at least?

I know it sounds mad, thecrackfox, but this is the only thing I find significantly difficult. There are other differences, but we rub along well and I think they think we're as strange as we do them! Thing is, I already feel as if we make a statement by giving our children the same as the adults and it must in lots of ways be really tough having children with such extremely limited diet (one kind of pizza acceptable, one brand of chips, that sort of thing). We can subtly take our kids out if we think they've been screen glued for too long and they're younger so that irons out some other things. It's a loving family too, so I want to get along, just not feed my children a different and compromised diet for two weeks.
The every other day thing might work.

How about suggesting a buffet style thing where there are lots of foods on the table including chicken nuggets plus food that you and the children eat? You can then make sure they have a mix of foods on their plates? Keep feeding them veg and fruit alongside the other food? Buy some food that you want as part of a top up plus some wine as a thank you for the PIL?

I know some children are difficult to feed but if its all of them its likely to be their parents fault in not giving them enough variety. I'm not a saint, looking at the chicken nuggets in the fridge, but I think variety is important. I'd be OK for a short period of time but 2 weeks sounds a long time.

I honestly think relationships with other people matter more than food. If you like/love these people and the holidays work in terms of bonding and time together, then I would let pizzas go. If these people are a pain and you don't like them much, then I wouldn't accept their hospitality.

You're right nkf. Over the past twenty four hours, I've reflected on it and we've decided not to insist doggedly that our children eat what the adults do, but not give them nuggets and pizza all the time either. So they had chips/pasta with the meat and salad served for tea tonight. Worked well. Ours had some control over their food but it was still broadly what everyone ate. I can do that for a fortnight. And still maintain happy relationships.

It's a fortnight and if you go away with them you have to accept your kids eat the same as their cousins. If you want them to eat adult food choose different holiday companions!