To not make him a cup of tea.

[PleasePudding]

Ok this is a ridiculous and petty AIBU but I am genuinely interested to see if other people think I'm being unreasonable. (If anyone can be bothered to answer on such a minor issue),

DH in sitting room lounging on sofa, I am hovering in doorway about to go to the kitchen (which he didn't know).

DH says "Make me a cup of tea babe" - although he now says he said "Would you make me a cup of tea babe" either way there was no please and at no point had tea been discussed or an offer to make one extended.

We've pretty much split the child care today although I've been doing more housework/cooking as well. He'd been lying doing nothing for the hour leading up to this.

Anyway the fact that I said no seems to have shocked him and he thinks I'm not being a team player. I think it's ok for him to have asked but he's got to expect that I might tell him to bugger off and make his own.

I'm sorry I know this is silly and really doesn't matter but does anyone else or their partners ask this or do this? Was I being mean? Jesus this is so minor but we've had a run of bad major fights recently and I've totally lost my bearing on whether I'm being ridiculous or not.

Nope, YANBU. I wouldn't be impressed to be told by my DH to make him a cup of tea.

Oops. I do this all the time. DH will be wandering about getting on with stuff, me lounging watching TV or mumsnetting. He passes by on his way to the kitchen and i say "a cup of tea would be nice". 5 minutes later a cup of tea appears. He does it because he loves me. He also brings me a cup of tea in bed every morning.

Depends on the tone used.

I would have no issue if dh/dp said that to me but I would expect him not to care if I said no

I think he is being unreasonable to care if you don't want to to do it

do you make him tea sometimes?

if I fancy a cuppa and dh is floating around I will ask him to make me one

he never drinks hot drinks but will always make me one on request, just the way I like it

I always say to my husband 'Yes please'. He looks at me blankly and goes 'What?' to which I respond 'I thought you asked if I wanted a coffee' and then look all confused. He tends to take things literally and believes me every time so goes and puts the kettle on. :o

oh yes, I never drink hot drinks either but used to make dh/dp coffee

No yanbu.

I had months of this when me and DP moved in together years ago. It seemed that his nan (whom he lived with) would ferry him things whenever he asked, and pretty much assumed I'd fill her role seamlessly. He was genuinely surprised and confused when I'd give him a face and a short, sharp 'no' and go about my business.

It's rude, and presumptious to not entertain the idea of someone saying no to your request of anything. Fine if you want to, but fine if you don't. Don't put up with sulking. He's the one being ridiculous.

I too have been known to demand tea in a very unreasonable manner at times, I need TEA. however have also been told to eff off many times, it's the risk you take.

you are totally unreasonable to be drinking tea at this time on a Saturday! crack open the wine.

oh and I called dh on the mobile this morning, he was downstairs and I in bed, to demand a cuppa and a bacon sarnie both if which came.

chill out

Has he got the hump now?

If he doesn't go make him a tea for both of you n relax together. :)

I say that all the time. Minus the babe bit.

Or say whats after 'S'?

T?

Yes please!

DP makes the best tea in the world, I shant patronise him with please and thank yous.

My lovely DH always calls down "any chance of a nice cup of tea?" to which I respond well a cup of tea whether it nice... And agree wine is much more suitable to a Saturday.
Make him a cuppa

Just realised how grumpy my post sounded

For the record I do get things for him and do things if it's convenient and I want to, I am nice like that.

It's a bit cheeky for the partner who's sat on their arse, to ask the one doing the housework to make the tea. In your shoes I'd have either said "sure babe, here's the hoover, you can finish off here while I make us both a cup." or "sod off you cheeky git, I'm the one hoovering "

Mind you, if we'd had a day where DH had done lots and I'd sat on my arse, then later, I was doing the hoovering and he asked, I'd do it without hesitation.

Do not start backtracking now OP ...

Thank you for the responses! I love WestieMama's method. Anyway that's reassuring that both the request and the response were fine.

He is a love but a total idiot - he asked if I'd been reading feminist tracts and that's why I wouldn't make it, apparently reading a review of Ava Gardner's biography may have influenced me. (I read aloud "You can sum up my life in one sentence, honey. She made movies, she made out and she made a fucking mess of her life but she never made jam.") maybe the jam bit worried him - whatever, it was just annoying that he got all over-stressed when I said no.

I think it depends whether you'd ask him the same thing, and whether he'd do it. And whether you'd be upset if he said no.

I ask dh "what comes after S?" and he does an exaggerated sigh and goes to make me tea.

Yes WINE genius solution!

I ask DP all the time. Sometimes I get told to make it myself, other times, one appears. No big deal either way :)

again wine, after 3 glasses even my teens are fantastic and dh is David Beckham!

I pass this advice to you.

at thebody love the advice both wine and mobile food ordering. Right off to open a bottle. Thank you everyone.

errm excuse me my DH is David Beckham ...oh my the Rose is well and truly opened

Or say whats after 'S'?

T?

Yes please!

I just tried this on DH and it didn't work . He got the answer right, but didn't grasp the bit where he's supposed to get up and make me a cuppa. Bad husband.

Oh! Never mind. He's come back with a G&T instead! All is forgiven.