To do a bring your own picnic?

[youarewinning]

DS will be 9 in a few weeks. Money is very tight and he struggles socially so a party is often a very tearful occasion for him.

I was thinking of doing a bring your own picnic party at a local woods/ adventure park. I was thinking of taking some extra bits - eg cooking a bag of sausage rolls/ sausages, cakes, fizzy pop and a birthday cake etc but really don't want to or cannot afford to buy a load of food - most of which is likely to be wasted.

Was thinking of wording it "Bring a picnic and join DS at X place from Y time on A date to celebrate him turning 9."

AIBU to do this? After many recent threads on here I'm beginning to think I would be.

I'd be perfectly happy to bring a picnic and if I knew it was your son's birthday I'd bring him a present too, because I'd want to, not because I'd think it was expected. There's really no need to worry about mentioning/not mentioning presents, because in real life people don't do the tremendous amount of over thinking/taking offence at these things as they seem to do on here. It sounds like a lovely idea and I hope your son enjoys it.

50shades Love it. Could just provide cake and pop, and obviously birthday cake At that time of day no-one would expect a meal type food would they? (I know soft play they would)

I certainly will word the presents things carefully - or more to the point make it clear its a get together to celebrate his turning 9 - rather than a birthday party iyswim? Some of the people that'll be invited would buy DS a birthday present regardless of us doing a party or such so need to be careful not to make them feel like they shouldn't when I know they'll want to iyswim?

I would be a bit clearer if you want to do a 'bring some food to share' or 'bring a picnic for your doc to eat and I'll provide a cake." The former would be more fun - you should get some sets of sandwiches, some veg and dips, some more adventurous things like onion bhajis etc to go with your sausage rolls, but not sure what situation your friends are in and if that would fit. But either way no problem at all to suggest people bring food.

I am agnostic on the present wording, I find people bring presents as a matter of course to bday parties so if you really don't want them I'd say so.

Doc=dc !!!

My Plan B was a village hall. Had 4 or 5 phone numbers and a close eye on the weather forecast in the run up to the party.

Oh lot's of x posts.

It is friends of mine/ family etc mumsy DS doesn't see his school friends out of school. He has social problems (SN) so has no real close friends - just is nice to everyone.

happy that was my though on presents. Sometimes being on MN makes me overthink more than I would in RL!

soft That's good options. Worth considering - need to chat to DS.

If you can't afford a big party, OP, then why not go with your son and two of his close friends to this adventure park? It sounds like your son finds big events overwhelming and lots of children have scaled back fun with a couple of good friends on their birthdays at this age (swimming, cinema, fun park). Mine have been invited to birthday tea's with only 3 special guests, swimming with one friend and the cinema. Much cheaper and less stressful.

I'd just do the food. If it's warm they won't eat much anyway.
Cheese and ham sandwiches or value cream cheese is 50p
Crisps
Packet breadsticks/cheese straws
Value grapes
Apples
Value flapjack (£1) or Tesco traybakes like rocky road are £1.30
Squash or value pop!

It will save everyone the hassle but you could put
'picnic will be provided but if there is something special you'd like to bring to share that would be lovely'

Sorry youarewinning in that case your picnic idea is great, I think it's fine to ask family and friends along for such an event, a little odder to invite perhaps parents you don't know well to sit around at a 9th birthday and provide their own picnic. If it's family and friends it's easier if the weather is bad too, as they won't be dropping and running.

sorry - friends of ours not just mine, but people who have children DS plays with out of school.

mumsy don't apologise. It's usual for 9yo to have a group of friends who all go to each others parties. DS has no such group - it's been hard but I've accepted that.

He can however cope with this type of outside event - even with lots of people because he can do his own thing and copes better around people he knows well and adults whom he can rely on.

Plus - in a place with a park he can go on a swing if he needs time out - less abnormal than wanting to sit alone in soft play

You are selling to me, it sounds ideal I would provide a very basic picnic then and use the phrase someone else said 'if you want to bring along something special, please do so' - that feels very differently to being asked to provide your own picnic by a parent you hardly know.

how about having it mid afternoon and it could be a tea party?
you could write on the invite come join ds for a play in the woods/park and a glass of pop and piece of cake to celebrate his birthday, or something along those lines having it at 2.30-3.30 ish and children would be fed I imagine

I was going to do this for DD 9th birthday tomorrow, in the end we decided to go for cake and pop instead, I'll provide a few snacks too, not much though because I'm super skint

We went to a similar one a few months ago & it was fine as everybody brought their own picnic & hosts provided light snacks & cake. The hosts mentioned that for plan B in case of inclement weather, the party would be at their home & they would provide the birthday tea. Make sure that you have contact numbers for everyone in case you need to change the venue.