to consider a kidnap plan for Richard Osman off Pointless?

[ClockWatchingLady]

I'd like to keep him. But would he be too tall to fit into my ancient Renault Clio?

Surely the best pointless answer would be the Central African Republic you heathens

I wondered why we had been faced with re-runs of old episodes since Wimbledon ended... He's in your cellar, isn't he?

You are too late. The Richard you see on telly has been a triumph of the editing suite since last May. I find he quite likes the cellar, though he does sometimes cry for Mildred.

By the way, it's £500 per hour, if you ladies are interested.

Sorry beast but I think you'll find you have a Richard lookalike there - as the real one has been in my attic for several months now 'Mwahahahahah'

(He keeps complaining that there's not enough headroom, but he'll get used to it in time..........)

Damn, damn.

Perhaps we could clone him? One each? Form an orderly queue.....

I know some teachers frm the school he went to which means I could probably fake a school reunion type thing and kidnap him. I am just three inches shorter so have a car big enough for him.

Go magic. We want photos.

Shall we suggest this as a round in pointless?

"Which kidnap plan for Richard did mumsnet not come up with?

Oh I love him, wouldn't blame anyone for attempting a kidnap. I think a trail of cake (lemon drizzle) and fulham memorabilia is the way to go.

Although because I'm a crazy stalker big fan, I believe he's no longer single.

If we do clone him, can we program the clones to say "hiya" a little less often? (the ONE fault in the current version, I'd say). Is this blasphemy...?

I love Richard, he tweeted me once.

Too tall to kidnap. If I were you I'd just take his head. Stuff, pickle or keep in the fridge. There are many options for celebrity head preservation.

Kim as you well know, by country he means any sovereign state recognised by the UN. I was sure you were going to be the OP when I saw the thread title!

I have an old fluorescent jacket which we could tie to his legs sticking out the back of your Clio OP to warn the following traffic. I like cake too. Perfect!

Oh god, he sounds absolutely lovely.

Treagues - you have a treat in store.
TiggyD - good ideas, but I'll definitely need parts of him other than his head.
Fuzzysnout - great, we'll get baking. I've always thought he'd look lovely in fluorescent yellow.

I think I'm actually drooling a little, although it may be the thought of lemon drizzle cake.