To think I'm being used

[ThePowerof3]

I have a friend who works shifts and always takes on more during the holidays but doesn't organise childcare and relies on friends to help. Whenever I try and organise a get together she takes it to mean I'm ok to have her children whilst she works. I don't mind helping out but feel a bit miffed as its getting clear she not interested in seeing me

Seems like she is.

Be firm. No, I'm not babysitting. If you're not free, then we'll leave it till you are.

If you are organising to meet her for coffee but she takes it as you'll look after her kids while she works means there's either a break down in communication between the two of you or yes, she's using you and taking the piss BIG TIME.

yes you are being used. Time to say

NO

You'll lose nothing, because with her you have nothing.

it's so difficult op because most of us wouldn't dream of doing this but unfortunately there are users out there who have absolutely no shame and trade on others niceness so you have to woman up and say no.

I'm sadly starting to think that's sad but true

I just get confused as she genuinely seems to think its normal, at the very least its a bit of a hotchpotch approach to childcare

No, she wants you to believe her actions are normal. She knows you'll feel guilty if you say no. Get rid of her, seriously she seems vile.

She's using you and you are letting her.
She sees you as a drip, someone to walk all over. Are you?
Is this how you want your kids to see you? See how they are supposed to act with someone like this?

You know she's using you or you wouldn't have started this thread. She's acting like this is normal to confuse you, make you doubt yourself and your judgement so she can carry on using you for as long as possible.

You know what you have to do. You know we are here to help you while you do it. You've just got to tell her no.

I'm not usually a drip but in this case I guess I am, she just makes me feel like its a reasonable request, maybe she is hypnotic!

Would you be my friend and have my DC on Thursday please?

As long as you can see a pattern in her behaviour then it can turned into a good lesson for you to learn. Until we actually meet people like this, we don't really know what to watch out for.

It's one thing reading about all the red flags, it's a damn sight harder recognising them in real life when they are involved in your day to day life.

Time to give her a reality check.

Ok MammaTJ, only if I can do it for free though, is that ok??

Yes, that's what I was hoping for. Oh, that and never ending gratitide for the privilege!! My DC are wonderul you know and I don't let just anyone look after him!

Them, not him! There is a DD and a DS.

Maybe you should give me a trial to check if I'm up to the job

just say no to MammaTJ!

No MammaTJ! There maybe I can do it in real life now. On a serious note her kids have started to be quite cheeky to me because she doesn't like to reprimand them and obviously it's not my place butnI don't appreciate it