To keep my ds away from hers?

[monkeynuts123]

My Ds had a friend the same age, both 3.5 and the friend used to hit my son every time we had a playdate, my son never hit her son. Initially I put it down to high spirits and just toddlers larking about but as time went on I felt it wasn't ok for my kid to get hit by this other child every time we saw them. I tried to create distance with the friendship but the mum was quite aggressive in demanding to know what was up so in the end I was honest about my feelings. She said I was over-reacting and kids will be kids sort of thing but the last time we saw them her kid threw a plastic pot at mine and really hurt him. I mean really? Am I meant to be cool about this? I don't have this prob with any other friends or their children. The mum got really angry with me saying I'm labelling her son a bully and I never did anything of the sort, now she's blanking me at the school gate (got older kids). AIBU?

YANBU at all, you stated what your problem was and she didn't take it on board. Sadly, it's her DS that will suffer

Sounds like she is aware of her child's behaviour but is wanting to shift the blame.
YANBU.

YANBU.

But as she's blanking you at the school gates I'd say that's a good result. Forget about her.

If my child treated a playmate like that hed be on time out until he learnt.no YANBU

Exactly who, just forget about her, let the friendship drop. She will soon realise when her ds is not invited to any playdates

But I think she might be bitching about me to mutual friends and I'm wondering if other people put up with their toddlers being hit every time they go on a playdate with a particular child? I don't mean the rough and tumble of play or squabbling over toys, her son would march up to mine, stick his bottom lip out and shove my son so he fell over, surely that's not standard? Am I over sensitive?

Well I can't speak for every parent out there some are lunatics but I wouldn't put up with that behaviour from my own child or from anyone else's, so you are in the very best company!

Thank you laughs, I never understood why she just weakly told him no with no follow up or consequences. If my child behaved like that I'd take it seriously with him and she'd always go on about what a strict mum she is.

My DD was the target for another child who hit her quite frequently. The mother was very hot on sorting it out though, it never went unchallanged, and soon stopped. Was this OM doing anything about it? If it's been going on for so long it doesn't sound like she's been very effective. YANBU. Your DS's safety and happiness is your priority, not this other woman's feelings.

X post, so she's not doing anything about it. Then her DS will suffer because he won't learn that it's not acceptable. She's BU, not you.

YANBU and doing the right thing. Let her say whatever she wants to say and if asked tell people the truth and stick to the story.

I wonder where he gets his spiteful behaviour from

YANBU.

I distanced my DS from another boy, and so myself from his mother, for behaviour like this. DS and the other boy are both four.

It was exactly as you say, every time the boys were together the other boy was hitting DS, often with his mother watching and although she did tell him to stop, it was a disinterested sort of telling that she never followed through with the consequences she threatened.

This boy also lied about odd things, such as hearing DH call DS or having sweets in another room, to trick DS into leaving the room I was in with his mother and once they were alone he would do things like stabbing DS in he face with a fork, hitting him with objects or locked him in a room to stop him going to the toilet. And he was telling DS not to say anything about it.

Finding that out was the moment I decided to stop the boys playing together out of school, so we declined all invites to his house and didn't invite them to ours.

I don't think any of that is normal or excusable as kids being kids. DS has never done anything like that to anyone. And none of his other friends hit him or each other when they come to play. It's just this one boy.

So YANBU, let her bitch if she likes. If they have the other boy over to play I'm sure they will realise why you are cutting them out and will probably do the same if she doesn't do anything to stop it.

I think you're right, your son isn't a punchbag, if she's angry she probably knows you're in th right

Let her say what she likes. If other people allow their children to be beaten up on every play date then good luck to them, but I doubt anyone else will put up with it for long.

Just ignore her, don't be drawn into any bitching about her or any nastiness. Ignore, ignore, ignore.

Wellm I have been the parent of the culprit/hitter in this senario - and I did/do as much I as can to stop it - warnings before we get there, one final warning when there and then removal with juch appologies to the other parent/s, and discussions with dd about why we dont hit our friends.

It was embarassing, especially as I think dd was doing to kids she really liked but couldnt express it and it came out wrong. She was like that for about 6 months and we are coming out of it.

I would be mortified if another parent had to speak to me about it cause I wasnt doing anything, you aren't helping your child at all in those circumstances are you?

Im sure the other parents at the school gate know what she and her son are like so are probably taking it with a pinch of salt. By ignoring you, she is doing you a favour.

I am quite laid back but the leat I expect is for the other parent to correct their child each time they hurt mine. I do understand children will hurt others and mine are not I'm lying, they are perfect. Parents behaviour though is something I want to be good.

rollmeover all children do this at one point or another. You are doing all you can and I am sure the other parents appreciate it.