To want to make myself believe in god?

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I have always been very logical and so despite going to a Christian primary school, having a very religious mum(though not in a pushy way) and reading the bible when I was younger(the story version I was a bit of a book worm) I have never really got my head around how god could be possible.

But I really wish I had the extra "something" that some people seem to find by believing in god. I'm probably not making much sense, but I wish I could get myself to feel like there's somebody watching out, that there's something after death, that everything happens for what'd ultimately a good reason/what's meant to be so on.

AIBU to try going to church for a bit even though I don't believe in god? Or am I just being silly, is it something you can't 'make' yourself feel?

Makes no sense to me either.

So the 10 commandments were just an exercise to show how imperfect we humans are. But they carried the death penalty! Seems a bit of an extreme team building exercise. Imagine I run a company. And I gather my employees together to say 'anyone caught nicking stationary will be killed' and after about 20 years of all this killing I gather them around again (whats left of my dwindling workforce) and say 'actually guys, I was just doing that to point out how disgusting you all are, but it's okay, I forgive you and love you, now go in peace' does that, on any level, make any sense?

but it isn't "no strings attached" is it atrcts? as someone up thread said , what God desires is worship. The very word make me feel sick. Why do we have to "worship" him? Can we not just love him? Please someone explain this to me because I have trouble understand why a loving, forgiving God would want this. I just don't get it.

So god didn't think through the sacrifice system beforehand? He didn't know it wouldn't work? How did it actually work when it did work? If it worked before why did it stop working? And I honestly mean that. I approach religion as I do anything. I can only use what I use for everything else, my mind. So I ask 'How does this work?' 'Why do you have to do it like that?'

Making creatures to worship you is odd. Killing it because the brain you gave it meant it was unable to even comprehend you is even more bizarre.

It's not like that. God gave chance after chance after chance. And then another chance. I could imagine that none of us would have been quite so patient! The problem was that there had to be a penalty for this thing called sin. Dictionary definition describes sin as any reprehensible or regrettable action, behavior, lapse, etc.; great fault or offence. And we are told "the wages of sin is death but the free gift of God is eternal life."

It wasn't about tricking anyone. God had different dispensations throughout the ages. He must have a timeline that makes sense to Him, it seems a little futile to say that just because you might have a different way of thinking that He's somehow got it wrong! Reminds me of my toddler telling me confidently that he DOESN'T need sleep and he CAN live off sweets, and that he knows better than his parents in that regard!

His dispensations were as follows:
Below is a summary of all of the dispensations:

Eternity Past - Even before God created the world, He always was, having no beginning or end.

1. Innocence - from the creation to the fall of man (the first sin) - Although the Bible does not say specifically, this dispensation probably did not last very long, perhaps only a few days. It ended about 4000 BC. This dispensation is covered in the scriptures from Genesis 1:1 to Genesis 3:22.

1. Conscience - from the fall of man to the great flood - This dispensation lasted from about 4000 BC to about 2350 BC and is covered in the scriptures from Genesis 3:23 to Genesis 8:19. With very little instruction from God during this time, man acted according to his own conscience. The evil became so overwhelming, that this dispensation ended when God destroyed all but Noah and his family in the great flood.

1. Human government - from the great flood to the call of Abraham - This dispensation began in about 2350 BC and is still in effect. Although Abraham and his descendants went under the dispensation of promise around 2000 BC, as explained below, the remainder of mankind remained under the human government dispensation. It is covered in the scriptures from Genesis 8:20 to Genesis 11:32. God began allowing humans to govern themselves and to punish criminals.

1. Promise - from the call of Abraham to the giving of the law to Moses for the children of Israel - This dispensation applied only to Abraham and his descendants through his son, Isaac, and Isaac's son, Jacob (Israel). It lasted from about 2000 BC to about 1500 BC is covered in the scriptures from Genesis 12:1 to Exodus 19:7. God promised Abraham that He would give land to Abraham's seed and that all the nations of the world would be blessed by his seed. Although Israel went under the law described below around 1500 BC, the promise God made to Abraham is still in effect.

1. Law - from the giving of the law to Moses for the children of Israel to the calling of Paul, the apostle of the Gentiles (those not of Israel) - This dispensation applied only to Jacob's descendants, Israel. It began about 1500 BC and lasted until it began to fade away about 37 AD and stopped in 70 AD. It will resume for seven years during the future tribulation after the dispensation of grace listed below. It is covered in the scriptures from Exodus 19:8 to Acts 8 and from Hebrews to Revelation. The book of Acts is a book of transition from law to grace. During the period covered by Acts 9 to 28, we see the grace dispensation coming in and the law dispensation fading away. God chose Israel as the apple of His eye. He gave Israel strict laws, harsh punishments, and prophecies of worldwide prominence in the future kingdom of their coming Messiah.

1. Grace - from the calling of Paul, the apostle of the Gentiles, to the rapture of the church - We are now in this dispensation. It began in about 37 AD and will last until the future rapture. Hopefully it will be soon, but we do not know when the rapture will occur, except that it will occur before the seven-year tribulation. This dispensation of grace is covered in the scriptures in Paul's letters from Romans to Philemon. When Israel refused to accept Jesus Christ, who had ascended to heaven, as their Messiah, God turned to the Gentiles to provoke Israel to jealousy (Romans 11:11).

To borrow your sweet eating toddler analogy. You ask your toddler to not eat sweets. You explain it's bad for him. The argument goes on and on for days, weeks. At what point would you think it best to torture him?

headinhands, you are getting fixated on literal meaning and wording written down by humans. You are trying to cross t's and dot i's, but you are missing the big picture about the spirit whil focusing on written laws on written tablets. You can get to know God through your heart, through feeling and also through your mind by questioning, but you'll nver find God if the questioning you do is about whether the t has been crossed and the i has been dotted, because God is not in that place or space.

Why did there have to be a penalty. God is god. He could just say. 'You're forgiven'.

I can only comprehend god with my cognitive functions. If he wants me to accept things that seem sick and cruel he shouldn't give me a logical brain.

The thing is, you'd hate to even hurt a hair on your precious child, you adore her and yes you discipline her, but could you actually torture her? No! And according to the bible you're morally bankrupt and yet even you can see torturing people is abhorrent. Upshot is you are morally superior to the god of the bible.

So why even have a bible if we ultimately go through the heart? And besides, my heart pumps blood, it has no capacity for communication.

Dont forget that at the moment she is getting blocked from seeing. Not her fault I dont think.

What is the seven year tribulation atrcts?

Who is blocked from seeing what caster?

2much2young. I too wonder that sometimes.
Didnt want your valid question to go unacknowledged. Will wait for someone else to answer perhaps? springy or niminy or madhair perhaps?
[am slightly calling springy here, if you can manage to come back[perhaps ignore headinhands if you feel the need to?]]

"So why even have a bible if we ultimately go through the heart?"

Different people go different ways, the road is long with many winding paths. There is no one way or the highway. The spirit resides in a different dimension, beyond the Slough of Despond, beyond the chains of earthly soil, up in a dimension beyond good and evil where there is no longer suffering and toil.

A living heart has capacity for emotion and love and that is communication. Through the heart the message will be revealed. Love the God thy father with all thy heart and soul.

parable of the sower."When anyone hears the word of the kingdom and does not unserstand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what is sown in the heart.."

headinhands, do you have much emotion too do you think? or are you a bit of a cold fish in rl?

are you angry at God?

thanks for picking up on that Caster8 it is a genuine question and a concept I really struggle with philosophically. I have gone from being staunchly atheist in my teens and early 20s to marveling at the wonder of the universe and feeling part of it through yoga (laugh not I am being serious!). I would still say that I do not believe in "A God" and am still vehemently opposed to organised religion as set out by mankind as I feel that it is used as a tool, used an excuse to conquer other members of the human race for selfish ends. As every year goes by and I learn more, through science, about the scale and fantastical nature of the universe I see that there is less and less I truly understand. I'm not sure what I am trying to say here but I would like to understand how others come to an acceptance that "worship" is what is it's all about and is required and how this "sets your free". I read something about CDD (christian domestic discipline) recently and the underlying current is worship of someone who is above you - a way to God through your husband as decreed by God. Sickening and a cover up for domestic abuse? Or the way the world should be according to the text laid down in the bible as they would have you believe.

headinhands - can you elaborate on your use of the word torture?

caster8 what context are you asking about the tribulation period? (not understanding your question).

Torture; Noun
The action or practice of inflicting severe pain on someone as a punishment or in order to force them to do or say something.
Verb
Inflict severe pain on.

Not angry at god because I don't believe in one. Not a cold fish either.

Seriously how does your heart communicate?

I am not too sure on my question either atrcts! You said about rapture and seven year tribulation.

"Seriously how does your heart communicate?"

Through love. Love is a language, it just doesn't use words.