To ask MIL bottom cut my DS's hair?

[marceline]

We live with my in laws and my MiL looks after my 2 DCs which is a huge help as me and dh work full time. Today I got home from work to find my 9 yo DS sporting a rather awful haircut that looks like was clearly done by a very unskilled hand.

Now I know he did need a haircut - his fringe was getting a tad long and it was a bit shaggy - but not anything that couldn't wait till the weekend! And I don't want to be bitchy when I know she helps a lot and I am grateful but this is not the first time she's done this and I really don't like it.
Should I tell her politely not to do it again - she'll probably get a bit huffy about it- or let it go?

Just realised what I wrote in the title!! That should read 'not to' not 'bottom'!

She cut it with her arse?

I would ask her not to do it. I think it's a parent's job not a grandparent's job.

I thought you wanted to ask her arse!

Ha ha AKiss, it does not look good! I didn't comment on it but I can't help but cringe a bit.

Love the typo

At nearly 39 I am still traumatised (slight exaggeration) by my grandparents' attempts on my hair. Please ask her not to do it again!

We used to call my cousin Richard the third on account of my uncles hairdressing "skills".

My cousin isn't male.

Just take ds to the barbers to get it tidied up at the w/e. Granny might take the hint, and it's not worth risking upsetting her.

I'd say something, if not to MIL then to DS.

My Gran cut all my Mum's ringlets (which she loved) off when she was young. Growing up, Mum would often say to me - "Never let Gran cut your hair. If she comes near you with scissors, run!" Hasn't affected my relationship with Gran at all, but if she had cut my hair (still waist-length now) it would have!

OldLady, I think I'll do that, it might improve things although alas the fringe may be beyond salvage!
I hope she does take the hint.

Incredible, I love the idea of running away from Granny!

What a wonderful thread title. Thank you!

It's only hair - it will grow.

In a very few years, your son won't let her near him and it will all fade into family folklore.

(Meanwhile, buy a badge saying my boy's hair is nothing to do with me.)

LOL at the fringe being beyond salvation, 3yo ds2 cut his own hair weeks before he was due to be the male equivalent of a flowergirl (the name escapes me, he handed over a plastic horseshoe) and although the barbers did their best, there really wasn't much to work with.

It's only hair, it'll grow back. It can't be easy living with the in-laws, so don't ruffle any feathers you could smooth over instead.

Bootsy your comments are officially my favourite MN comments of the week :o LMAO :o

My mil cut 3 yo dds hair and I cried when I saw it

She cut her beautiful curls into a page boy which then curled tight to her head when it got wet

I couldn't look at dd without crying and spent the next 4 months dragging it into bunches before it looked decent again

She has never been near my dcs with a pair of scissors again

So perhaps you just need to try crying?

Howling at Boosty! To save face for all (including your DS) get said haircut tidied up and when a haircut is due in future say 'oh I've made an appointment for DS a haircut at the weekend' . Then the favour will not be repeated. Who do you think did the deed. As a child I experienced some fairly experimental hairdressing procedures courtesy of my mother's friend's salon.

I use the words favour and salon loosely in my above post.

Chicken I probably would have cried in your situation. I think I missed my moment with that one! Also I was conscious I didn't want to make DS feel worse about it so I said nothing.

OldLady it's tricky but works most of the time - mainly because I'm quite laid back and non confrontational usually. I just need her to know where my boundaries are. DH thinks I'm making a fuss for no reason.

My mum once cut my fringe with wallpaper scissors. While slightly tipsy.

Filo, lol at 'experimental hairdressing procedures'. Pretty sure it was her. He hates having his hair cut and wasn't happy about this one.

My 13 yo DS has never had long or shaggy hair (had his first haircut at a year- barbers)

He would have been demanding "For pity's sake Grandmother, take me to the barbers for a haircut" (or words to that effect)

I find it really quite odd that someone would cut a child's hair without parental permission. I would be furious if someone did that to DD. To be fair to DD, I doubt that she would let them either, unless they kept her still with vast quantities if chocolate.

I do, very much, understand what you mean about boundaries, and tbh I would never even take dgs to a barber, (there have been times his mum has bought him questionable barbery) let alone do it myself, but boundaries must be a bit more flexible in your situation. I do, totally understand your feelings, though.

I just think it's a bit of a "pick your battles" situ, and given you live with mil and she does most of the childcare, I think you have to swallow the odd dodgy haircut. Especially if it can be tidied up a bit.

Filofax's idea of saying next time he looks a bit shaggy, you tell her he's booked in for a w/e apt is an excellent, and non-aggressive response.

(My mum cut my fringe the night before a school photo was due, every year. She never quite figured it out, and in every one of my early school photos I look, um, well, badly hairdressed! She never did work out that pulling it while wet was not going to give the fringe she envisaged...)

She shouldn't have cut his hair without your permission but seeing as you are living in her house at the moment I would just let it drop.