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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Obnoxious Customer

77 replies

HotCrossPun · 24/07/2013 19:23

This isn't so much an AIBU but more a WWYD because I know I am not BU

I'll try and explain as best I can without outing myself.

A customer phoned today who was coming in to visit us. Standard procedure is to ask if the customer has any special need requirements/assistance.

Customer: What do you mean?
Me: Do you need wheel chair access or anything like that?
Customer: Good god no!!

I was silent (because I didn't know how to respond)
Customer: I probably shouldn't have said that should I
Me: No.

I then carried on with the rest of the call in what I'll admit was a bit of an icy and formal tone.

Anyway, fast forward to later on and my boss asked to speak to me. Each day our calls are listened in to be graded. He said that I was unprofessional with how I spoke to her. I said it was just because I was pissed off because of her stupid comment and the inane laughter after it that she was obviously wanting me to join in with. Anyway, he wasn't happy with me and said I hadn't to do it again.

WWYD? That question often seems to prompt idiotic responses from customers. Why can they not just say yes or no?

OP posts:
Original poster
HotCrossPun · 24/07/2013 19:24

Jeez, that's long.

And breathe!

OP posts:
Whothefuckfarted · 24/07/2013 19:25

I would be pissed off with my boss (and ignorant phone lady)

Then forget about it, no formal warning etc. Never mind.

Roshbegosh · 24/07/2013 19:27

I think you over reacted. An icy formal approach isn't what we want and she just didn't get what you meant.

Shutupanddrive · 24/07/2013 19:28

Well she obviously didn't know what you meant at first. You were unreasonable to carry out the rest of the call 'with an icy tone'

phantomnamechanger · 24/07/2013 19:32

It was not an issue that the lady asked for clarification, it was her cackling reaction to the reply - which was definitely inappropriate IMO - not surprisingly it caught OP off guard

I am surprised your boss has even mentioned it but then again how can we judge without having heard the dialogue/tone?

Original poster
HotCrossPun · 24/07/2013 19:33

It's hard to convey her tone, but she was horrible. It wasn't like a whoops, didn't realise what you meant, it was a proper 'Good God NO! Hahahahahahahahahah'

OP posts:
Original poster
HotCrossPun · 24/07/2013 19:38

Its the waiting for you to join in laughing that really grinds my gears.

You know when you are in a queue for example, and the cashier is taking a long time and somebody starts saying 'this is ridiculous' while looking round and shaking their head at other customers wanting them to join in. It's a bug bear of mine, made worse by the fact the comment was disablist.

OP posts:
phantomnamechanger · 24/07/2013 19:40

I think the OP felt the woman was laughing AT disabled people, not her own silliness in not understanding. OP was shocked and put on the spot and I am sure tried to deal with it as best she could while thinking WTF?

ThursdayLast · 24/07/2013 19:40

Icy tones is sometimes all we customer facing people have.

I think you did fine, but probs best not to wind up your boss.

My favourite is if people don't use manners to me, I don't say please or thank you back to them.

EvieanneVolvic · 24/07/2013 19:46

Please believe me I am one whos almost daily accused of being too quick to suspect people of being racist/sexist/disablist so I sympathise.

However....

Obviously I didn't hear it, but it could so easily have been that she was taken aback and that her laughter was nervous laughter which often does sound unpleasant.

The fact is your boss DID hear it so he is better placed to make a judgement. And ultimately really it is not your place to 'discipline' customers unless what they say/do is overtly and blatantly racist/disablist/homophobic/sexist, but from what you have said it wasn't that....(and totally unrelated someone inviting you to join in with a complaint about a long queue) As it is you are judging her motives which it seems you were not ideally placed to do.

But move on...it's not the end of the world. If it's really getting to you perhaps you could talk to your boss about it tomorrow.

EvieanneVolvic · 24/07/2013 19:48

My favourite is if people don't use manners to me, I don't say please or thank you back to them

You see, I do....you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar!

Original poster
HotCrossPun · 24/07/2013 19:55

It wasn't nervous laughter, it's really easy to tell the difference. Especially when she followed it up with, I shouldn't have said that should I? And then more manic laughter.

When I say I had an icy tone, what I mean was that I was polite and efficient I just wanted her off the bloody phone whereas I'm normally warm and chatty.

My boss spoke to me about it because he said that because my tone changed so suddenly from the chatty to the really formal, it was obvious I was annoyed. Which is fair enough, but I just don't know how else I could have reacted. I can't think of anything I could have said in response.

OP posts:
NotYoMomma · 24/07/2013 19:56

I would have been the laughing lady because I would have been laughing at myself not realising what you meant and then would have turned into a nervous laugh when you are an arse on the phone.

if your boss said you were out of order he might have interpwrated it differently

I think this is likely a case of cross wires/ miscommunication rather than outright disablism though

Nagoo · 24/07/2013 20:00

Oh god, you win this game with a please and thank you overkill. The more of a dick they are, the more polite you need to be.

Maybe she was hideously nervous on the phone. It's your job to be polite. You didn't need to join in the laughter, it was inappropriate, she knew that. Just move on to the next thing. Forget it. You didn't need to call her on it, she did that herself.

You are the one in charge of the conversation, your job is to manage the flow of it and get the thing arranged. You can save your judging of the idiots for when you put the phone down.

EvieanneVolvic · 24/07/2013 20:03

Especially when she followed it up with, I shouldn't have said that should I? And then more manic laughter.

You see I read that as evidence that it WAS embarrassment rather than the reverse. It seems your boss is of the same mind and yes a sudden and obvious change of tone may well have made her feel small. You may well think she deserved it but my jury is out on that one! You could have reacted by NOT being judgemental when it seems that you were being a bit unjustified. You really do need to keep your personal interpretations (which it is becoming clearer is what it was) under wraps.

Still at least you were honest with us from the off in saying that you weren't being unreasonable! I have to beg to differ though.

EvieanneVolvic · 24/07/2013 20:04

And what Nagoo said.

Original poster
HotCrossPun · 24/07/2013 20:06

Okay, the consensus seems to be that I'm getting worked up over nothing.

I'll chill out.

My excuse is that I am pregnant, have an unquenchable hunger for sweetcorn - which there is none of in the feckin house- and my nipples seem to hate the rest of my body right now. Grin

OP posts:
BridgetBidet · 24/07/2013 20:07

I think you over reacted totally. I didn't read that as being disablist or discriminatory, I thought it was more that she hadn't known what you meant and was surprised. And you were on the phone too so I think that you couldn't have guessed if she was perhaps very old and was joking that she didn't need it yet.

I mean honestly, it wasn't like she said she thought all disabled people should be rounded up and pushed off a cliff is it?

She certainly did nothing that was strong enough to warrant you being rude to her, which you were.

I think you need to suck it up and take on board what your boss said and try not to be oversensitive in the future.

comedycentral · 24/07/2013 20:09

Hurrah to you op! I hope the silly cow reflects on her own stupidity!

BridgetBidet · 24/07/2013 20:10

Incidentally I've worked in customer service a lot and you do get a lot of people who say stupid things or behave like idiots and you do have to just suck it up unless they are really, really offensive because that is what you're paid to do.

If you can't do that I wouldn't work in customer service. The fact is that not everybody you deal with is going to be a card carrying fan of the politically correct and unless what they're saying is totally offensive you really do have deal with it.

ThePrinceofCambridge · 24/07/2013 20:11

Ridiculous over acting on your part I would say.

If someone asked me if I needed a wheel chair I would also laugh.

We do have a wheel chair in our attic, I have had to use it on several occasions, my father has to use a wheel chair with more frequency, my brother had a walking aid.

Original poster
HotCrossPun · 24/07/2013 20:11

Get off that fence Bridget - say what you really feel!

OP posts:
EvieanneVolvic · 24/07/2013 20:12

My excuse is that I am pregnant, have an unquenchable hunger for sweetcorn - which there is none of in the feckin house- and my nipples seem to hate the rest of my body right now

Wee why didn't you say so to start with you daft 'ap'orth! [mulitpack of sweetcorn]Flowers

Original poster
HotCrossPun · 24/07/2013 20:12

Just to clarify - my boss thought she was horrible too. He just said that I can't go from being personable and friendly to formal and polite, I've got to be consistent in my tone.

OP posts:
Turniptwirl · 24/07/2013 20:13

Yanbu

I had to phone a customer recently who said he needed his money because he was over the threshold for benefits as he had savings but had lost his job so needed access to the savings. Fair enough. Without me asking anything further he started going on about "asians" getting £800 a week. I was just totally shocked tbh! My tone did become stiff and more formal (after having been friendly up til then) and as we had finished what needed discussing I ended it as quickly as possible.

I just don't understand why people think its ok to make that sort of racist or disablist in the OP comment to a total stranger who has no choice about talking to them! For all they know I could've been Asian or claiming benefits myself and OP could've been sat in a wheelchair!

Keep your prejudiced views to yourself please customers!