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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask about normal behaviour of 10 month old?

17 replies

HoppinMad · 24/07/2013 12:51

Ds2 is 10 months and I really have no idea whether he is displaying normal behaviour as I am finding him such hard work recently. He slaps and hits dh and I, and has now started hitting ds1 on his face. He pulls my hair, he will not share with his brother and screams and shrieks if anything is taken off him. If we say a firm 'no' eg when he hits, it seems he acknowledges it as he stops and looks but will then give a harder smack as his reply.

He has been walking for about a month now, and likes to potter about as I do chores. Yesterday I had my back turned for what seemed literally a minute and unfortunately he found a new fairy liquid bottle still in the carrier in a cupboard. He emptied half of it and it took ages getting rid of the slippery mess. Him getting up to no good is becoming a common occurence. He is constantly on the go, has very short naps and a terrible sleeper at night which in turn makes him quite grumpy in the day. (I have been surviving off approx three hours of sleep per night for the past week). I am bloody exhausted.

Several friends and relatives have dc of similar age and their dc are happy to sit in a parent's lap, or sit and play for more than a few minutes. Ds2 is very excited and active at the children's centre we go to once a week. I have had so many comments there of 'wow he is a handful isn't he' and 'gosh he must keep you busy'. Their babies sit nicely on the carpet playing whilst ds likes to explore the whole room, reach for the plant pots and leg it as soon as the doors open. Very tiring for me indeed as I have to watch him like a hawk. He isn't willing to share there either, whereas the other babies will forget about particular toy and move on to something else.

So aibu to ask, is this normal behaviour for a just turned 10 month old? I am trying to think back to ds1 but he started walking after turning 1. Though, until then he was a velcro baby but would sit and play if I sat with him. I dont think he was this active. Any help/words of advice greatly appreciated.

OP posts:
Whothefuckfarted · 24/07/2013 12:54

Lol, oh dear, totally normal! Good luck!

Whothefuckfarted · 24/07/2013 12:55

No words of advice sorry! I'm in the same boat!

Plentyoffish · 24/07/2013 12:55

sounds just like my 9 month DS Grin

I

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 24/07/2013 12:56

Yeah, sounds fairly normal to me.

Sorry about that Grin

ChimeForChange · 24/07/2013 12:58

Not 10 months but a bit later than this my DD was similar!
Also not a good sleeper.

She's 17 months now. She lashes out at our faces if we tell her something she doesn't like! Throws proper tantrums, throws herself on the floor, screams and bites her hands/knees/carpet!!! Not sure if this is normal!

She's also very active, everybody comments on this.
She will sit quietly with me for periods of time but she is still breastfeeding so this is probably why.

With other children she is great though, she loves playing with others.

Beastofburden · 24/07/2013 12:58

Its very difficult to know what is normal in such a young child. I am sure lots of posters will reassure you with stories of very active kids, and others will worry you. But actually I would be talking to my health visitor about finding new ways to use up all this energy and agreeing what it would take before she would advise getting genuinely worried about this. At first glance I would say that the aggression is probably linked to the energy levels, and both may improve when his physical skills catch up with his ambitions.

Annoyingly, the activities that you enjoy, ie talking with friends while he plays nicely, may have a to wait for a little more maturity. I would be teaching him to swim, because they can, at that age, so he wont get too frustrated, and he can splash and kick all he wants to, and it will wear him out.

Fakebook · 24/07/2013 13:01

Yes, DS went through a loong stage of hitting and slapping at age 9-12 months. He used to snatch my glasses off and hit me. He's gradually grown out of it, although he still pinches me when he's frustrated. Good luck!

Beastofburden · 24/07/2013 13:03

The other thing is- hate to be a misery- but you may have to consider a diet as free from sugar as you can manage. Some kids respond very badly to it. May be nothing to do with it in your case, of course.

maja00 · 24/07/2013 13:04

You probably think of him as being older as he is walking, but 10 months is really still a little baby! He doesn't know hitting is wrong or that he shouldn't make a mess, he's just acting on curiousity and impulse.

HamwidgeAlive · 24/07/2013 13:13

We had success with teaching "gentle hands" at that age.

DS was just like you describe. Sitting drinking tea wasn't an option. You might need to find some more activities where he can explore and move about to his heart's content.

Oh and I don't think 10 month olds get sharing. You could try games with turn taking, like a shape sorter and you have half the shapes each? Then emphasise "my turn, your turn"?

HoppinMad · 24/07/2013 13:15

Thanks for the replies. Comforting to know I am not the only one being smacked and having my hair yanked Grin

chime yes the tantrums. Ds will lie on the floor and bang his head on the carpet if he doesnt get his way. Its usually when he wants to follow whoever leaves the room.

beast excellent idea about the swimming, I think he would enjoy it as he loves bath time and splashing in the bath. Also we do not give him sugary foods other than the odd petit filous or similar yogurt, but he is on formula (is that full of sugar?)

I think the frustration may partly be due to teething. Dh reckons it must be why he hits and its disrupting his sleep. He isn't eating too well at the moment either.

OP posts:
ovenbun · 24/07/2013 14:06

swimming is a great idea..i take my niece and nephew when my energy tank is low..then they sleep :)
The wonder weeks is a fantastic book about stages of brain development and really helps with fussy difficult stages..
sharing is unlikely to happen at 10 months old, children are naturally territorial/possessive at this stage..its a survival instinct, think of lion cubs and meat..its not something their brain thinks they need to know yet, some babies are more passive and then will do this more at two/three years old.

He may need a cuddle/ reassurance when someone leaves the room.. it seems so basic to us but for a baby seperation can be very distressing..he might kick and hit at first but reassuring contact is never a bad thing..

he might also be a genius so frustrated with not being verbal yet....talented children are often challenging babies :) xxxx

HoppinMad · 24/07/2013 14:18

Thanks hamwidge yes we are trying to teach him about taking turns, but he just doesnt get it yet. When I see the other babies of similar ages, as I mentioned they forget after a few seconds and move on to another toy. He has a huge tantrum. The screaming and shrieking distresses ds1 so he has started to cry too if something is taken off him by the baby.

ovenbun yes iswym. ds1 suffered greatly from seperation anxiety, right up till nearly 2.5. It was wearing but I understood his needs. He is ok now but still gets quite anxious if I am out and doesnt know where I have gone or what time i'll be back. Ds2 cries too sometimes if I leave the room, but nearly always cries if I am sat with him, and ds1 or dh leave the room - he wants to run out at any opportunity. He is like a magnet to an open door!

And yes dmil is convinced he is a little genius Hmm

OP posts:
Beastofburden · 24/07/2013 17:35

shouldnt think formula is full of sugar. Prob not a diet thing, then. Teething is quite likely though, if I am in pain I get narky too.

Look on the bright side, you may have a really engaging, vibrant little person there, who is just kicking off a bit because what he really needs is to be three years old, right NOW, so he can talk, run around, etc. DS1 was like that. He never hit (much) but he did bite, once. I strapped him in his pushchair, and ate his biscuit right in front of him, like Ronnie Barker stealing Harry Grout's candied pineapple chunks. Then I turned him to face the wall for ten minutes. I then made the BIG mistake of telling him that if he bit anyone again he would go straight home. From then on, anytime he got bored and wanted to go home, he bit someone.

He has just got a first from Cambridge. I no longer enquire if he still bites Smile

SmellsLikeTeenStrop · 24/07/2013 18:25

I have a just turned 10 month old too. That sounds normal. DS3 likes to try and pull my nose off, and claw my eyes out. I don't think he hits but he does pull hair - especially where it really hurts like at the back of the neck and behind the ears.

He's in to everything too, we get those big huge packets of pasta from Asda and because it's too big for a cupboard it goes on the floor in a corner. If we've forgotten to fasten it shut properly, he'll have half of it all over the floor Grin He likes crawling around and exploring, doesn't sit still for long.

ll31 · 24/07/2013 18:48

Sounds perfectly normal

Chunderella · 24/07/2013 19:02

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