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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DS (11) invited to his friend's for a sleepover, only now do I discover they are sleeping in a tent in the garden.

42 replies

ParanoidandAnxious · 23/07/2013 21:46

AIBU to think that I won't be able to sleep tonight? I was even thinking of making an excuse to go and pick him up!!!

Outdoor sleeping was not mentioned. There will not be an adult with them. There are about 5 boys all similar age. I know the parents as acquaintances but DS has been friends with their DS for 6 years. They are nice people. The boys have just finished Yr 6.

I mean, I know it should be fine but there is a reason we all lock our doors at night when we go to bed!

I would have liked to have known in advance. Am I overreacting?

Disclaimer (Have no problem with DCs sleeping outside as long as there s an adult out there with them)

OP posts:

happystory · 23/07/2013 22:40

Am with cory. The very tragic case of the girl years ago made the news because it was so unusual. they will be fine

kim147 · 23/07/2013 22:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HeySoulSister · 23/07/2013 22:49

Which 'adult' did you want outside with them?

SquinkiesRule · 23/07/2013 22:50

My son did this a few times with friends over the summer when they were all 11/12 they had a brilliant time, they were safe enough. A bunch of strapping lads all together no one would have tried anything with them, they also took the dogs with them to sleep on a trampoline at one friends house, and had a campfire in another.

InTheRedCorner · 23/07/2013 22:53

I'm with Cory. Hard, hard work.

ThingsThatMakeYouGoHmmmmmmmmm · 23/07/2013 22:57

"Abducting a great big 11yo from a tent which contains 4 of his mates, without anybody raising the alarm, sounds like hard work to me."

And,quite frankly,a complete pain in the arse.

defineme · 23/07/2013 23:06

I think there's safety in numbers.
I camped out from a very young age.
We cannot live our lives in fear.

However, I'd be worried about it in my neighbourhood: we live in a very naice area which has a high break in rate. We have stopped 2 attempted break ins in progress in our back garden-the last one was off his face and not someone I would want my kids coming across at 3am in the dark.
I have stood in front of my kids bedrooms listening to someone break the glass in our conservatory, waiting for the police to arrive...If the kids had been in the garden too I would have had to tackle the criminals!

TroublesomeEx · 23/07/2013 23:20

It wouldn't even occur to me to be bothered about this.

I'd just be excited for him that he was going to have such a fun time!

I'm going to have two 7 year old girls sleeping in my back garden in a couple of weeks (weather permitting). I'll be sleeping out there with them, but seriously, it's really not a problem!

cece · 23/07/2013 23:22

My DD and her friends have done this - it seems a perfectly normal thing to do at this age ime.

VivaLeBeaver · 23/07/2013 23:27

My dd camps out with her friends and has done from 11yo.

Garden is very secure, high 8ft wall all the way round and a locked gate. Tent is very close to the house. I do feel they're very safe.

We normally lock back doors because of the risk of a sneak in burglary. Which is a lot more common than child abduction. Burglary is also easier for a person to do undetected than snatching a fairly old child from a tent full of other kids.

I think he'll be fine.

sydlexic · 23/07/2013 23:34

I wouldn't be happy, don't think someone else should make that decision for you.

Original poster

ParanoidandAnxious · 23/07/2013 23:43

Ok then. I shall relax. It is a worry but I would not stop him having fun or embarrass him by constantly ringing (he has a phone). He is not a PFB btw, I have others but having lost one at birth, I am probably a bit more hyper vigilant than most people.

Thanks for the opinions!

OP posts:

HeySoulSister · 23/07/2013 23:45

It's the random unknown 'adult' that you wanted out there with him which could just as easily cause harm...

WilsonFrickett · 24/07/2013 00:14

I am sure they will be fine. There are 5 of them, they're 11 and I'm sure the parents will be around so OP please don't worry.

I'm a tiny bit uncomfortable with posters claiming they're all 'big strapping lads' and so magically fine, because teeny wee girls are obviously at more risk, but that's probably me just being sensitive. (And no reason for op to worry)

trinity0097 · 24/07/2013 05:53

Do people really think that dodgy men roam the back gardens of the country on the off chance that they might find a lone child to snatch at night? I think that the chance of someone being abducted in this situation is the same as the chance of your child being abducted from their own bed, I.e. exceptionally slim!

MackerelOfFact · 24/07/2013 06:04

He'll be completely fine. As others have said, they'll eat too much junk food, get cold and eaten alive by Mosquitos and will be in and out the back door all night to obtain further snacks, blankets and entertainment. By about 3am they'll have decided the whole thing is a bit boring and cold and will fall asleep on the floor of the living room watching a DVD.

TimeofChange · 24/07/2013 06:25

OP: I remember the little girl taken from the tent in the garden too - it was in North Wales. There was a public footpath running at the bottom of the garden and the abductor / murderer had seen them and chatted to them earlier in the day.
It was horrific, but don't let that spoil your DSs fun.
Kids drown in the sea, but we don't let that stop kids swimming.

Best wishes to you.

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