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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder about going to this wedding?

12 replies

arabesque · 23/07/2013 14:13

A colleague is getting married in five weeks time and invited about four or five people from work to the wedding. Two of them can't attend and she has now invited myself and another colleague instead because 'there are places available'?
I'm not especially friendly with this girl and don't particularly want to go. I don't enjoy weddings at the best of times and apart from a couple of colleagues will know absolutely no one at this. It's also on a Wednesday which means taking a day's holiday from work and, as I'm taking a few weeks off soon, my leave is pretty tight.
However, she's having a very small wedding so the fact that she's invited two colleagues she's not even that close to makes me think she doesn't have that many friends to invite so I feel sorry for her.
AIBU to consider turning down the invite? I feel a bit mean but I really don't want to go.

OP posts:
SarahAndFuck · 23/07/2013 14:16

Turn it down and try not to feel mean. Smile

It's not mean, you have valid reasons for not going and it's not like you have let her down at the last minute or anything.

squoosh · 23/07/2013 14:24

I think you know the answer.

Leeds2 · 23/07/2013 14:32

Don't go.

And don't feel guilty about it either!

cushtie335 · 23/07/2013 14:34

I was in a similar situation years ago when me and DH were asked to attend a 21st birthday meal for someone I barely knew. I was an acquaintance of her mother and she was clearly scraping the barrel when she asked us, as I'd only met her DD twice and now she was paying for us to go to some swanky hotel with about 10 other people who didn't know her dd either. We went along cos we felt sorry for her but the whole experience was excruciating. It became pretty clear why she was so low on friends as well, she was a judgemental beeatch. In short, I don't think you should go.

Original poster
arabesque · 23/07/2013 15:38

Thanks everyone. I think I'll give it a miss.

OP posts:
ENormaSnob · 23/07/2013 15:40

No way would i go.

inkyfingers · 23/07/2013 17:05

Say no, but give her a card, small gift? Make a fuss of her as she might be short of friends .....

Lottapianos · 23/07/2013 17:10

Had almost the same situation a few years ago - everyone in the office except me and one other colleague were invited to this colleague's wedding. Nice Hmm Then other colleague who hadn't been invited was invited as an afterthought, because there were spaces available. Classy Hmm She didn't go.

Don't go OP and dont feel even slightly guilty. An invitation is just that - an invitation, not a summons. Give her a card if you would like to.

MammaTJ · 23/07/2013 17:11

inkyfingers has it right. Don't go and use your percious leave. Do send her a nice card and thoughrful gift. Maybe, if appropriate, organise a work 'hen do' if you do evenings out together. Make her feel fussed over a little bit.

meganorks · 23/07/2013 18:53

Just don't go. You don't want to, you aren't close, so don't bother. She probably doesn't have many people going as a weekday. They must have known that was likely. Particularly on a weds.

LimitedEditionLady · 23/07/2013 19:05

Id prob not go but say lets go for a drink after work and get a card and a little gift.

pigletmania · 23/07/2013 19:07

I personally would not go. They might be having a small wedding due to finances

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