To not want to live in a total minging filthy old pig sty?

[weightwatcherscheese]

DH and I both work full time. I work from home but I am freelance and really work hard and cram in the work as much as possible. We have 3 DCs, ranging in age from 5 to 14.

I am sick to the back teeth of everyone else in this house wanting to live in a total dirty pig sty and not cleaning up after themselves. I do everything at the moment; laundry, housework, cooking, shopping, cleaning up, tidying. Everything. The eldest will occasionally hoover her room but that is about it.

And it's not just the basics of running the house; everyone is so dirty and so messy. I came down this morning to a kitchen floor covered in mud, and plates, bowls, cups and glasses everywhere. I had to clear it all away before I could get breakfast for the youngest and I. They all leave stuff everywhere; books, clothes, shoes, dirty crockery and cups, wrappers, magazines, you name it.

DH makes it clear he won't do anything in the house. He will maybe stack the dishwasher once a month or sometimes bring in a few bits off the clothes line (and then dump them on the worktop or floor for me to sort).

I am totally fed up with it. Before I can do any housework I have to spend around 2 hours tidying up first every day, it's that bad.

[sleeplessbunny]

and read this
www.amazon.co.uk/books/dp/0747561729?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

[halcyondays]

stop doing your dh"s laundry. he'll soon get the idea.

[KellyElly]

Why have you allowed this to go on for so long? I'm assuming your husband has been like this from the start yet you still married him. I admire the fact that you haven't actually killed him by this point. Children/teens are always trying to get away with being lazy, your partner doing this is just disrespectful and treating you like a skivvy.

[Snazzyenjoyingsummer]

Most of what I'd say has already been said - stop doing the stuff for the 'adult' in the household that you do; train the kids to do more. I also wonder if working at home clouds things in that a) they think you are available all day to clean up and b) it means you are stuck with looking at the mess so feel compelled to deal with it. Have you got a specific home office? Could you go out to a café or shared space and work there?

[valiumredhead]

If Dh made it clear he wouldn't help out, that would be it. I could never love a man who had so little respect for me or his surroundings. It would be a deal breaker.