There's a new surf club just been set up in town, it's quickly grown to 120 members and I'd like DD aged 8 to join because I want her to be able to join in rather than just watch during teenage years.
So I ask another Mum, who was a close friend but we've drifted, whose 8 year old boy goes if it would suit DD
' No' she says ' it's not for beginners'
Week later she's chating with several others and I ask whether many girls go - 'no' she says.
She hopes it does n't get too popular. Her son came 3rd in a recent beginners competition beaten by a lad in DD's class and lost it- tantrum style- she wanted to know who his parents were, what he's like at school.
I'm determined to get DD surfing so I go to the people running it to ask about boards and lessons to get her up to speed to join later - turns out beginners are really welcome and half, yes half the membership are female including many of the mums who are learning along side their kids. Perfect for DD & I - She's also recommended it to a mutual friends DD, so why did she lie to me? I don't want to call her on this , she's very sociable, has fallen out with a few people and I don't want to be on the 'blacklist' but I'd like to understand her motivation. Other surf groups are available and this might not suit do I risk offending Alpha mum and go or just back off?
Insecure, competitive, personality thing.....?