To want to be alone, for just a few damn minutes...

[YankNCock]

....when having a poo?

That is, without a certain nearly 4yo boy opening the door every 5 seconds to ask:

'Are you just having a poo?'

'Are you finished?'

'Are you finished now?'

'Now are you finished?'

'You just need to lock the door.' (At this point he locks the door for me, shuts it, then violently jiggles the handle until it pops back open. That would be why I hadn't bothered to lock it.)

'Are you finished now?'

'Do you need to wipe your bottom?'

'Do you need to wipe your bottom now?'

And the final insult....

'Do you just need to wipe your own bottom because Daddy's not here?'

(I have never needed Daddy to wipe my bottom. Hold my hair back when I puke, yes, but wipe my bum, no.)

Oh to poo in peace. How nice that would be...

same issues with my 3yo DS although his focus has recently moved to anatomy:
"can you do a standing up wee Mummy?"
"no darling because i'm a girl, girls wee from a different place to boys"
ponders "do you poo from a different place too? Can I check??"
I miss private bathroom time!!

Ah, now fencing could work too heffalump