£425 for 25 hours care...how am i meant to get back to full time work?

[Shellywelly1973]

Ds has ASD & ADHD. When he was excluded from school in Yr1 i had to resign from my job. I earned more then dp but he admitted he couldn't cope with Ds.

Ds was out of school for 14 months. He did spend 1 month in a PRU, he attended for 3 hours aday.

He eventually started school full time 15 months ago. He attends an independent ASD special school. He gets 4 extra weeks holidays in comparison to my other 2 dc.

I've spent weeks trying to get some care for him in the summer holidays, which are 8 weeks long. 1 playscheme has called me back. The cost is £425 per week 10am - 3 pm, works out at £17 per hour. The playscheme only runs for 3 weeks in total. So £1275 for 3 weeks care. Ds recieves 6 hours week restpite from social services so no further help is available to us.

I've been self employed since Ds was excluded. I hate it. Im lonely, don't leave the house all day, can go days without seeing anyone. I don't earn great money. Im desperate to go back to work but how?

Child care is possible for my other dc. I attend so many meetings every term at Ds school full. SALT, O.T, his councillor, his class teacher& his IEP. meetings as well as his annual review. He also goes to Camhs every month.

How do other parents of SN children do it? Ds is 8. Its getting worse not better. I dont have family that can help so really upto me to deal with it all. Dp dosnt 'get it'. I know it sounds awful but i want some sort of life again...aibu?

Each area has their own options for children with a disability, locally children of pre school age upwards can get direct payments.

OMG really? That much?

My Dd2 goes to a vacation program run through the town ( Im in the USA). She does not have any special needs at all. In the program shes in there are a few kids with various forms of special needs,some quite severe. It cost $150 a week. The program runs from 7.30 am till 5.30 pm 5 days a week. From the last week in june till the second week in August. Ive watched the women with these kids when I go to pick up Dd,they are awsome. The kids are all having a whale of a time and each seem to have their own primary carer within the staff.

I cant get over that price

Can't you split the cost with your DP? Childcare is not just your responsibility.

Would you consider recruiting psychology student or the like for the summer? They could start on reduced hours when he's in school to help you out then f/t once they break up.

Have you looked into tax credits (as said above)?

Surely you could have an au pair or something for that cost?

The system is so sad for working dms that need childcare. It's all wrong. :(

SN holiday schemes round here are no use for working parents. Social services short breaks do various activities - most are just for two or three hours and all have to be applied for separately. There is a scheme at ds's school but it is just for two weeks and only four hours a day. And nothing in other holidays.

Your right mrsD I missed the line in the bit I was looking at that said carers of a disabled child.

But then again I'm overly biased against the whole system of how they work out who can get them because in our area they are quite shite about giving any support to anybody with a disabled child unless there are other family issues that mean they have to. But yep that's my bad I was predisposed to see a negative before I even read the info sheet I had- I shall spend the next 45 mins on the naughty step.

Thanks for so many replies & suggestions.

We can't actually afford that sort of money so we won't be using it.

As the last post said i get pissed off with how care is allocated in this borough.

I will carry on working as i am for the foreseeable future- its that or not work, which isn't an option either...unless i get rid of dp!

Its so frustrating, people don't have a clue, unless they end up with a disabled child or family member.

Shelly with the local offer you don't have to pick the hours you can pick cash its £600 a year and not means testable no other benefits take it into account. So its worth applying just for that.

MrsD its one of the reasons I know I'm exceptionally lucky as if it wasn't for a accident of birth (as even if I factor in my attainment that's what it all comes down to) my life would be screwed.

The only reason I'm able to work eat sleep or even do anything ever is purely down to my grandad favouring me over everybody else and making that known when he died.

Because the support available that you don't have to pay for yourself is shite or minimal if your lucky and I am gobsmacked that more parental carers don't end up doing a beachy head,its one of the reasons I spend a lot of time on the bashing threads trying to challenge the bile.

I don't know about the money side of things but have worked in various playschemes as a student. Quite a few ppl then would do extra for particular families they had got to know. Is there anyway you could find a student teacher or similar to kidsit for you in the holidays? Or a teaching assistant from your childs school? They don't get paid in the holidays so if they don't have families of their own might be happy to do extra work. Then you could have some time for your business. &some time to take your other kids out.& it could be very flexible

Where in London are you ?