AIBU to imagine the comparisons between Kate's labour experience and my own? (Lighthearted)

[BonaDrag]

I was taken to the hospital in my DP's white van, my room in delivery had a cardboard window and blood on the wall..

Oh how the other half live...

Spot on Nigel. I feel no envy whatsoever but I'm not wasting any sympathy either

No bounty rep! She won't have to wait for a cuppa and it will probably be in a quaint china cup.

It was the middle of a very hot summer and one selfish lady had taken the only fan in the ward, put it next to her bed and closed the curtain around her bed.

I am sorry if this was me! I had an unusually high temperature which wouldn't go down. So I had a fan blasting on me, it was a hot day and I did feel guilty

at Bounty Rep hahaha

She won't have the midwife with the worlds biggest giant hands give her the pessary gel thing to start contractions off. Bet she won't beg the nice Dr to stay when her shift had finished because she was nice and cared and had seen me in clinic in the run up to the birth due to various complications and had small hands

But I don't envy her one bit, although she knew what her role would be in marrying William. Every cm of dilation being world news.

She probably won't have to watch that "I Promise" video...

(Nor did I though. Also didn't get Bounty reps, and had two midwives and a birthing pool all to myself. Luck of the draw giving birth on a quiet day!)

I imagine Wills won't say, as Kate writhes round after 18 hours of labour " a beer would be nice"
Or put Match of the Day on

You're right Nigel, she won't get to whizz off home 4 hours after the baby's born and have pate and blue cheese in front of the telly. I feel sorry for her now!

High five Slug We will be battling in and out of hospital surrounded by revellers!

giddy Same as you, I was sent away 2cm dilated and by the time I got back was halfway through second stage labour, just got there in time!

I bet she'll be allowed to keep her cubicle curtains closed if she wants to. Without a horrid little nurse demanding an explanation as to why.

(Errrrr, how about because I gave both about 6 hours ago and I haven't slept, and I feel minging, and I'd quite like to feed my baby at some point soon and would rather not have to drag my knackered, stitched up self out of bed to reclose them?!)

Birth even. Angry typing!!!

If she announces when the baby is 2 hours old that she can't quite decide what to call him then I suspect that people won't say "not to worry - there's no hurry"!

(We were a bit crap to be honest - first ds, together 14 years before we had him, knew for sure he was a boy since the 20 week scan and it still took us 2 days to name him!)

Haha Comedy if it was you, then all is forgiven!

To be fair, it was the woman's fucking irritating MIL who nicked the fan. She was a horror - her poor DIL was recovering after a very traumatic birth and was on blood transfusion. The MIL never stopped chattering on

Oh well it was not me it was the midwife, they were really stern! My MIL was lovely but she didn't hang about

She won't be able to leave the hospital in jogging bottoms.

She won't have the excitement of the first drive home with just her, her husband and the baby in the car going along at 10 miles an hour out of sheer nervousness.

She definitely won't get home to find her MIL has put a hot water in the Moses basket, bedecked the lounge with balloons and put a lasagne in the oven because it's her favourite.

'bedecked the lounge with balloons'

Wanna bet...?

sue you think Camilla is busy at Kensington Palace now?!

I wonder if she will tell Wills to fuck off as many times as I told my DH?

Does anyone else find it a bit creepy that the grandmother in laws gynae put off retirement to deliver the baby?

Argh, I didn't find it creepy... but now I'm finding my thought processes creepy trying to figure out why it might be creepy!

Pasta - you are right - definitely creepy - for all sorts of reasons!!

What so Kate doesn't get a midwife? Just 2 'eminent' obstetricians.
What does that say about your average woman having a baby, you'd be lucky to even catch a glimpse of an obs/gynae- in fact, I though they were for less straightforward cases, not just during delivery but for ante-natal too.

With any luck the midwife will be in the room when she gives birth, avoiding the need for her wet and slippery baby to fall out onto the hard and cold floor and go skidding under the bed on his umbilical bungee cord because his mum had her eyes closed and failed to catch him.

- not at the time, but a few years later.

I don't suppose she'll have to change her own bed after having been in bloody delivery sheets for 3 days.

The team won't have a screaming row trying to locate a room
She'll not be rushed into theatre,door banging,students running to keep up