AIBU to be upset at behaviour of acquaintance in pub?

[Sarajen]

OK, dh and I go to the pub about once or twice a week (not alcoholics we go to other places you know! ). We've no dc's as yet so why not? We're in our late 20s. Anyway, over the past year or so we have become quite friendly -as in talking quite late with another guy.

Anyway, on friday evening, we go to pub and this guy is a little cool with us. My dh goes to loo and the guy basically tells me that my dh is too loud and he can't be doing with it (in as many words). At this, I enquired what had been said but got no reply.

So he then proceeds to go and sit somewhere else with other people.

This has upset me; I've tried to figure out why but it's more or less like this:

1, If my dh had pissed him off to the point where he couldn't stand him anymore, why not just tell him and not me? I feel used to be honest.

2, If it's just a temporary thing, why say anything at all? Just say 'I'm going to have a chat with x, see you later' or simply avoid the pub for a while (plenty of others about). Because of what he said, if he sits with us again, it will feel really awkward as if he's obligated to IYSWIM.

I just do not see why the guy had to make a statement at all about this.

Also, and please don't think I'm being homophobic here, this guy is gay and I think it weird that he has suddenly gone off my dh; he's known him for about year, spent absolutely loads of time with us, and now, all of the sudden, has gone off him and feels the need to make a statement of it. I don't know, maybe he was a bit in love with him and now isn't.

I'm pissed off with this guy, AIBU?

Ok,so he's happily chatted to you both up to now?

Oh yes, lost count of the number of late nights I've spent with him.

Posted too soon. I think he's a bit of a Fairweather friend & someone more interesting was there. I wouldn't leap to the conclusion he's in love with your dh

I've not leapt to any firm conclusions about him being in love with my dh at all; just trying to explain this guy's strange behaviour.

In my experience guys in an environment such as a pub/club, quite quickly get an idea of whether they can tolerate each other's company or not.

Basically if you can tolerate an acquaintance/mate in a pub for a year, you can tolerate them forever.

Also, if they can't they just don't bother with each other, they don't feel the need to make a statement of not bothering with one another again; they just don't bother with one another again.

I think your reading too much into it.

He is just an acquaintance after all, and he seems to be a sociable guy.

Maybe your dp was being a bit too loud for him, if he had had a bad day or whatever, maybe he did just want a quiet drink?

If the next time you see him he is back to normal with you, the only person making it awkward will be you! He probably won't even think twice about it.

In the politest way possible, i think you would be doing yourself a favour to just get over it, its not really that big a deal and is most likely nothing.

You were in a pub. He'd had too much to drink and was being a twat as a result.

Lj8893,

I understand what you're saying, I really do, maybe he has had a bad week and doesn't feel like socialising with us. I truly understand that.

It's not that I feel that this guy should be glued to our sides or anything it's that he made a statement about not wanting to spend time with us to me about it.

Instead of just going to talk to other people; which is fair enough, he had to sit there for several minutes telling me how much my dh did his head in.

Making me feel really awkward.

BridgetBidet. He didn't seem that drunk, but thanks for saying that I'm not being unreasonable to think this twat-like behaviour.

Oh ok, in your OP you just said he said your dp was being too loud and he couldn't be doing with it.
You didn't say he spent several minutes telling you he was doing his head in.

So you can see why I came to my conclusion!

Yes, I do, Lj8893, it was more than a simple, 'he's doing my head in tonight. Talk to you again'

In any case, why use me as go-between? Got a problem with my dh, tell him about it IYSWIM. I'm not a trained go-between, I could have got the message wrong.

Indeed, why say anything at all? Presumably he could envisage a time when he may want our company again? So why not just be polite and say 'off to talk to so and so' Or simply drink somewhere else for a period.

Why risk the antagonism?

Aibu in thinking he should have just politely made an excuse and left us be for the evening instead of explaining why?