Why don't you hit your mum in the face with your ball

[Ringodingo]

Aibu in becoming increasingly concerned with
Exp anger issues lately. Now he is telling dc to hit his mum in her face with a tennis ball.
Me and dc were playing outside nicely and exp
Turns up to drop something off to dc and then comes
Out with that.
The day before he dropped him off 2hours late.
We have had words over the phone with him
Becoming aggressive and abusive. Telling me how he is gonna do me. Now he is
Telling dc how nasty I am,with dc asking me why are
You nasty mum, daddy says you are,daddy says
He hates you. I do not bring my dc up to think its ok
To be aggressive towards women. He also became angry with dc and called him a liar at some good
Family news we have just had. Just wtf is his problem
I really think he is a loose cannon at the moment just waiting to go off!!

Sounds like you need legal advice as there's no way I'd allow a man like this around my child!

is visitation court ordered? I would also be seeking advice. you both (or perhaps just him) need to grow up and cop the fuck on and not use a child in this manner who loves both of his parents and will do serious long term damage to witness you two at it. just to note, they do need to WITNESS anything. kids pick up on things very quickly.

I'm very mindful fluckered of this and the reason
Why I do not enter into any form of contact or conflict with exp. I was playing with dc quiet happily until he
Turns up telling him to do that. What does that show
And tell a child from an adult to behave in this way.

I assume you are taking action to get supervised/no contact ?

while its good you are aware you need to act pronto! this man is toxic. forget what he says about you, focus on how your ds is being dragged into it and what he is hearing, over hearing, feeling. how old is he? is it recent these goings on?

• meant to say they DON'T need to witness something to pick up on the relationship between you two but figured you know that already

The best thing for you to do would be to stop contact and seek legal advice. Your exp is abusing your children.

Was thinking of doing that but need to be careful
Of him kicking off. It's shit because dc should see his
Father. But I'm becoming freaked out by exp
And his volatile attitude, he is currently on bail for
Assaulting his exp, I don't want to be next. I don't want dc head to get mixed up either.

Keep a diary of everything that happens and seek legal advice. I can understand why you are worried but you have to think about what is best for the children in the long term.

Maybe ringing 101 for advice as you are worried about your ExP's violent tendencies might be useful?

At the very least you need to find out about supervised access, preferably via a contact centre. This way you won't need to see him and they will document any issues. Please do get legal advice, your poor children (and you) shouldn't have to live like this.

Why should dc see such a violent and abusive man?

Get legal advice asap

I agree seek legal advice ASAP. You may well be advised to stop contact or go for supervised contact, especially if he has been charged with assault.

I know in an ideal world that exp and dc should have a relationship together. I feel uncomfortable with what he is putting into dc head. I really do not want him to him at my house/front door. A child should not be told to ever hit their mother!

Stop contact and get legal advice. Also inform the police that your ex is making threats to harm you.

No relationship is better then one which is abusive.