DP getting incredibly drunk whilst I worry about cramps

[juniper9]

I'm 30 weeks pregnant with my pfb and started having a lot of Braxton hicks on Friday night, which I found a bit unsettling as they were intense and pretty much constant. They settled down after I lay down for a bit, but it still unnerved me.

On Saturday my DP went out at lunch time to meet his old friends. I asked him to keep his phone on in case anything happened. I spent the day packing up boxes as we're moving house and I probably overdid it. I started getting spasms again, but then later I started to get cramps and lower back pain. Just before 10, DP texted to say he'd be home soon, but didn't turn up. I texted him an hour later to ask him where he was as I was getting more anxious about being home on my own with these cramps and spasms, and he said he was coming home. He turned up just before midnight... so drunk that he couldn't stand up. He didn't ask how I was and passed out fully clothed on the spare bed.

I appreciate he hasn't seen his friends for quite a long time, and they do regress into studenthood when they're together, but aibu to think he should have laid off the booze a bit seeing as neither one of us knew if the cramps were going to progress into labour? The entire point of going out was to get rat arsed, but if the cramps had progressed then he would have been absolutely no help. There's no way I would have taken him to the hospital with me in the state he was in.

He's also now in no state to do all of the household stuff we're meant to do today, but that's a different moan.

So aibu to think he should have been more responsible, just in case?

yanbu to expect help and him to come home when he says so....but my own experience, the no drinking ban-phone on rule kicked in at 38 weeks. Unless you have real reason to be thinking about preterm labour then I think you're just feeling a little nervy and oversensitive because this is your first? (hope that doesn't sound rude! )

p.s..did you call your midwife to chat about your cramp concerns? might be a good idea. x

No point calling my midwife- it's an answerphone service and they don't bother calling back.

I know the chances of it turning into established labour are very low, but I would have liked to have had someone to fret with

is your DP usually caring and supportive, or is this part of a bigger picture?

Lay down the law and say 'keep your phone available at all times just in case I need you,' and also tell him that he has to be more reliable and come home when he says he will. He's an adult ffs, he should act like one. It's not a massive sacrifice, at least he has the freedom to go out and have a few bevvies, unlike yourself.

I'd contact your midwife in the morning, 30 weeks is quite early to experience strong Braxton Hicks on a first pregnancy. Worth checking out imo. As you were nervy it would have been nice if he could have stayed sober to reassure you, but as long as it isn't part of a bigger picture I'd let it go tbh. If he has any other boys nights out lined up, either make your point very strongly indeed, or make sure that you have a back up plan in case of any problems.

and if you need someone to fret with, there's always hundreds of us on here! [sympathetic grin]

Agree you need to perservere in speaking to someone - it is very early on to be having such strong cramps and lower back pains.

And yes, your DP is a complete arse. Sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do.

Juniper - is it possible you may have a urine infection? That can cause cramps and back pain.

I went to the labour ward with mine they were so bad and it turned out to be a UTI.