AIBU to be a little bit peeved at my FiL letting himself in to ours at 9am on a Sunday for an unannounced visit?

[VinegarDrinker]

I mean, obviously DS is happy to see him, and yes we are supremely lucky to have family locally in the first place, but really wtf is wrong with a quick text or call first?

I was am in my dressing gown and knickers ffs!

(We have a newborn, too, btw)

Change the locks !

Why does he have a key? Get it back if he can't be trusted with it.

You need to say 'Fil darling, we love and trust you which is why you have a key BUT tbh I'm naked undereneath this dressing gown and a text or call would have saved us all some embarassment. Now who wants another coffee?'

Eek! What if you'd just been wandering about in the rudes? Did he at least make you breakfast?!

Does he often do this?

If not, why has he done it today?

You need to tell him not to do it, you can't live your life worrying if he's going to suddenly appear in your lounge!

I HATE unannounced visits.

YASoooooNBU!

Luckily my FIL doesn't have a key (I think...) but he did turn up unannounced yesterday morning when DH was having a lie-in, and the DCs and I were still in our pyjamas. It was lucky I'd had the presence of mind to pop a bra on, as I was expecting a delivery.

My MIL used to do this when ds1 was tiny. Her key was supposed to be for emergencies only!

We now live 30 miles away from her and she doesn't have a key

He has the keys for emergencies, plant watering when we are away, and occasional childcare.

He does usually text or call one of us first, but usually as an afterthought - "i'm on my way" rather than "is it ok".

Apparently he dropped in cause he left his bike helmet here earlier in the week (which is true).

Time for a bit of straight talking I guess.

I'm just always a bit - just can't imagine letting myself into someone else's house with no warning.

Mine do early-morning weekend calls too. They don't bring their key, thankfully, but they are genuinely taken aback every time to discover we're not all up and dressed with the house sparkling at 8:30am. We're usually up by then, but DH likes a long bath which leaves me, the slattern DIL, flopping around sweatily inside my dressing gown waiting for my turn. Not opening the door is not an option.

Perhaps you also need a chain/bolt if you want him to still have a key?

Does he really need one "for emergencies"?

I would have done the straight talking when he let himself in. If he has to have a key fine, but I'd have made it clear that letting himself in to your house for a non emergency without ringing first isn't on, and that you'd prefer him to ring first esp early on a Sunday morning.

I think the chain might be a good idea.. I have one though parents don't have a key anymore. Just for peace of mind.

Even if he doesn't give advanced notice, surely it is only polite to knock the door first . Forget the "walking around the house in the buff thing", mine would have walked in on some steamy sex this morning! Mind, I bet that would have him stopped him ever doing it again

I HATE unnanounced visitors! To be honest I even hate unnanounced phone calls - I know I'm weird!!

Are you telling us that you have a newborn to "excuse" not being dressed at 9am?

It's 11am and I'm not dressed.

It's your house - if you wanted to wear a dressing gown at 3pm it would be entirely your choie.

I had to get DH to tell my FIL not to do this. DH would be at work, I'd glance out of the window and find FIL weeding the lawn in his speedos!

Horror.

We were living in FILS country where people wander to the beach first thing, swim a mile then wander home in their swimmers...but still...67 year old arse first thing was too much for my British temperament and I was

Ha! I read that as 'weeing on the lawn in his speedos'

Wouldn't put it past FIL tbh! he's lovely but he's a bit 1960s in his mindset.

Hah Trills I have no standards whatsoever and would happily spend all day in my dressing gown! I just mentioned the newborn because I think that makes it even more antisocial/odd to drop by unannounced. The house is even more of a tip than usual and DH was having a nap when FIL rocked up, as both kids were up before 6. I'm not embarrassed particularly - if anyone is it should be him imho but clearly we need to have a chat about boundaries.

This is why my MIL no longer has a key, I hate unannounced visits!

We have one very good friend of dh who has a spare key. He wouldent ever use it unless asked but he knows I'm a slob! Hate unannounced visitors, don't perticularly like announced ones either.