Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dogs on beaches. Why?

306 replies

Chickensarmpit · 20/07/2013 17:23

Today i took my 3 young kids to the beach for a rare day out.
It was ruined by dogs!
They shit all over the place, one pissed up my icebox and one bloody stole my sons ball.
We moved twice and eventually gave up and went home

Why do people insist on taking dogs with them? Grrr annoyed!

OP posts:
jellybelly18 · 21/07/2013 15:55

Ffs. I pick up my dog shit, put him on the lead near people especially children and only walk him on dog allowed beaches but I think some of you would still not be happy "that dog is breathing MY air. I pay council tax dontcha know"

Varya · 21/07/2013 15:59

I don't take my dogs on the beach but noticed discarded nappies and other rubbish left behind by some parents on one beach near me. Dogs can't stay in the car when its hot, but we take ours inland and not on the beach in summer. Some dogs and some parents spoil the beach for others IMO.

Alisvolatpropiis · 21/07/2013 16:18

But unless a child actually does something to provoke an animal by hurting it or something like that, it is the dog/dog owner's fault if a dog scares/hurts a child. Children sometimes forget/are too scared to do the right thing

Totally agree with this. As I said on one of the many other dog threads, mine is tiny to an adult. Not so much so to a child. I'm very mindful of that when children are around/approach to stroke her.

saintlyjimjams · 21/07/2013 16:29

I wasn't victim blaming - I was talking about my own son fgs. But his fear made him raise his arms, leap around and at worse run off screaming. All of which said 'play with me' to every friendly mutt in the vicinity. There was no victim - ds2 was never in any danger from these dogs. He just needed to learn to modify his behaviour so as not to get a playful response from every dog. Calling him a 'victim' is like calling ds1 a victim for being terrified of doors & light aircraft. They're everywhere so he had to learn to deal with them. Likewise ds2's life became a lot easier when he stopped over reacting to every friendly dog within 100 yards of him. That doesn't mean I welcome snarling child eaters - but I haven't met any yet.

saintlyjimjams · 21/07/2013 16:34

Anyhow we've just been for a lovely walk. Me, ds1 & the dog. On the moors so I kept him on the lead (he isn't remotely interested in approaching children but he is very interested in sheep & ponies so he stays on the lead near livestock). He was approached by two adults who fussed him which he reacted to by wagging half his backside off. One took him off me (which he wasn't hugely impressed with he's a bit keen on me). He didn't approach anyone, didn't drool on anyone & didn't raid any picknics. But I suspect if a few on this thread were present they would still have found something to complain about.

MrButtercat · 21/07/2013 16:35

Personally I think terrified children can react any way they wish,condemning natural instinct in a fear situation is a sure fire way to screw a kid up.

There are some really strange priorities on this thread.

MrButtercat · 21/07/2013 16:39

Oh and Saintly glad your dog was on the lead,sure you've seen all the sheep worrying signs with ripped to shred sheep pics.Clearly many don't(sure the sheep are to blame some how).

We have ranger friends who think dog owners are a major pita on moorland too and full of their dog's entitlement.

SarahStrattonIsBackForJustABit · 21/07/2013 16:43

LittleDog hates children. Because he is so very tiny, and odd looking in a cute sort of way, people treat him like a toy. I've seen him scooped up by complete strangers for a cuddle, without even asking me if its ok. And they get right in his face, adults are actually worse than children for this. He still has teeth, you know, even if they are wonky and don't meet properly (he can't actually bite, but they don't know that).

SarahStrattonIsBackForJustABit · 21/07/2013 16:47

It's a learned fear, not a natural fear instinct. People aren't born frightened of dogs, or cats, or even spiders and snakes.

Teaching your child that its ok to be frightened in safe situations is a much easier way to fuck them up. Why not teach them how to react in a safe way, that would be far more sensible and instructive.

saintlyjimjams · 21/07/2013 16:47

No mrbuttercat I want my children to be able to access life. My frightened child stopped being invited to friend's houses because of his over reaction to friendly safe dogs. That needed sorting or he was going to have a very lonely few years. He didn't need to learn to live them, but I've needed to learn to live with them. In fact he adores dogs now & sneaks our retriever into his bed so successfully cured of his fear

Likewise when ds1 broke a window with his head because he couldn't cope with someone sitting in their car outside his house I felt he needed to learn to deal with people sitting in their cars rather than try and police behaving in a reasonable way on a free street.

Personally I think not working to help your child overcome a fear they have to deal with daily to be bizarre. Teaching then how to behave around and not fear friendly dogs doesn't mean that you condone aggressive dogs with irresponsible owners - luckily they are in the minority. Teaching a child to deal with something which they will come across every day seems a better response to me than demanding the world is freed from dogs (especially when you live in Devon fgs) or people sitting in cars or light aircraft or whatever it is you/your child fears.

Of course I could have stamped my feet and said that ds2 was scared and should be allowed to do what he wanted when scared. But he would have carried on not being invited to his friend's houses- which would have been rather unfair of me I think.

saintlyjimjams · 21/07/2013 16:50

Mrbuttercat you sound quite insane. I have said I keep my dog on the lead on moorland because he has nir had enough exposure to sheep to be safe with them (or ponies).Why the ranting about ripped to shreds sheep? I used to work on a sheep farm, I know about sheep.

BeerTricksPotter · 21/07/2013 16:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

saintlyjimjams · 21/07/2013 16:54

Thinking about it Ds2 only has one friend without a dog, and he's more of a mate than a close friend so erm l think we owed it to him to sort out his fear really. All the families we meet up with regularly have dogs. So he really would have been suffering if it had continued.

saintlyjimjams · 21/07/2013 16:59

It is hard beer - feel free to tell her about ds2. By age 8 he couldn't be in the same room as a dog without bursting into tears and shaking. Out and about he would panic & run off screaming (cue dogs chasing him - it was a real vicious circle).

A year later he was a dog fanatic. He adores dogs & seems to have a real way with them. So it is possible to overcome that fear. I thought we never would. Actually he's written in his year 6 yearbook about wanting to have a dog when he's an adult (a chow chow FFS - is that what it's called? I had to look it up!)

BeerTricksPotter · 21/07/2013 17:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ilovemyrabbits · 21/07/2013 17:21

Anyone who leaves a soiled nappy in a public area should be shot. No question. Dog owners who don't scoop up or don't govern their dogs, similarly so. However, if said dog owner is off the beaten track and is trying their best with their dog and apologises if it fucks up, then it's no different to having a child who's playing up. It happens. If the responsible adult shows themselves to be responsible, fair enough. Otherwise, they should be barracked until they comply with the rules of reason.

MrButtercat · 21/07/2013 18:40

Sarah when you've had a child bitten by a dog through no fault of it's own in front of his siblings,taken to A and E vomiting with shock then come back and lecture me.

He learnt it by coming face to face with reality- dogs bite and even aledged nice ones can turn.

All 3 are now frightened of dogs and there is nothing you or I can do about it.I'm not making DS or his siblings feel crap for something he didn't deserve and for reacting or feeling how they feel.

saintlyjimjams · 21/07/2013 18:48

Dealing with their fear doesn't mean making them feel crap. Ds2 was terrified of water after someone (who should have known better) threw him into the deep end of a pool. His fear was understandable. But it still needed dealing with because he was missing out socially.

He's also scared of horses after hearing about his brother being kicked by one - but he doesn't need to be around horses so I haven't done a great deal about it. Ds3 who was kicked isn't particularly scared of horses although he is more cautious than he was. Had he become scared of them he would either have had to deal with that or give up riding.

Ds1 was terrified of light aircraft because the noise was physically painful to him (I assume from the reaction) but he still had to learn to deal with it.

Being scared of dogs after being bitten by one is understandable but given that dogs are everywhere it's in the child's interest to not let it progress into an out & our phobia.

SarahStrattonIsBackForJustABit · 21/07/2013 18:52

I was bitten by my neighbour's collie when I was 8. They had to prise his jaws open to get him off me, and I am scarred from it. Their dog went for our dog, I was simply unfortunate to be in the way.

SarahStrattonIsBackForJustABit · 21/07/2013 18:56

Oh and there is plenty you can do about it. You can expose him to well behaved dogs, and keep doing it until he realises that he doesn't need to be afraid. Or, the absolute best thing you could do, circumstances permitting, is to get a puppy. The worst thing you can do for him is to keep avoiding because every time you do that you are reinforcing his fear.

curlew · 21/07/2013 19:14

Or people with dogs can make sure that their dogs never approach anyone unless they are sure they want to be approached. Works both ways!

SarahStrattonIsBackForJustABit · 21/07/2013 19:18

I don't think anyone is disagreeing with you on that one. But surely it's better for the child to be helped to overcome its fear? I have two very allergic DDs, one of whom was severely needle phobic. She's not anymore because I did something about it, rather than avoiding it.

SarahStrattonIsBackForJustABit · 21/07/2013 19:19

Dur, meant to say, they both carry Epi-pens.

baskingseals · 21/07/2013 19:22

Mrbuttercat, my dd is facially scarred from a dog bite. So can I lecture you.

baskingseals · 21/07/2013 19:26

Through no fault of her own, she was 20 months old and with a registered childminder when she was bitten. It was awful and something I think about every day, I see her scar, every day. It has left me with issues over leaving my dc.

Dd, she has no issues, well not over dogs anyway. I have a big dog that I adore, but didn't have a dog at the time she was bitten, but she still has no fear of dogs at all.

Her scar will need plastic surgery at some point.