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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let DD (8) dip dye her hair?

141 replies

cluckyduck · 20/07/2013 15:16

Just that really.

She has asked, several times, to dye the ends of her - verrrry long - hair pink or lilac, on the condition that its chopped off sept 1st for school.

Will be no more than an inch but I feel conflicted. Part of me wants to encourage her to be creative and that there's nothing wrong with having fun with your appearance etc (based on my own issues as a child with DM, but that's another story!) but I am worried that people will judge her, and me!

It's the only thing she wants to do this summer and she wants to "look like a superhero"...

OP posts:
Original poster
cluckyduck · 20/07/2013 18:12

Yes worra, yes they are.

Are you happy and outraged enough now? No need to turn this into something it isn't.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 20/07/2013 18:15

I'm not outraged at all. Why would I be? They're not my kids.

And nor am I turning it into anything it isn't.

I'm genuinely wondering what people consider ok for young children to have done to themselves.

I was going to ask if false nails are ok, but I guess they could be a choking hazzard, or end up being surgically removed from little girl's nostrils.

Souredstones · 20/07/2013 18:15

I tie my hair into a ponytail and dye the end handful of hair. Works every time.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 20/07/2013 18:19

Well, I am going to go against popular opinion here. I wouldn't let her, and I would judge you if you did let her. Once they are 13 I think dying their hair pink etc should be pretty much compulsory, but prior to that I think it is unnecessary and encouraging them to 'grow up' too fast.

BreadNameBread · 20/07/2013 18:20

Spray tans, fake nails, fake eyelashes = all unacceptable.

High heels, make up, anything vaguely tarty looking = unacceptable

Ear piercing = ok but I didn't let mine have their ears pierced until they started their periods.

Having your hair dip dyed over the summer = ACCEPTABLE and fun.

WorraLiberty · 20/07/2013 18:23

But how do you come to those conclusions Bread that's what I'm fascinated by?

High heels = Possible foot damage/dangerous

Fair enough but what's the difference between allowing hair dying for little girls and not all the other things?

cantdecideonanewname · 20/07/2013 18:28

I'm going to be dip dying my 8yo DD hair for the holidays.

5madthings · 20/07/2013 18:29

Meh I think it sounds fine, my ds2 and ds3 are wanting a pattern cut into their hair for the summer. Its not a style I like but for the holidays I will probably let them, ds2 has mentioned dye as well. They are 11 and 8. Its the holidays, its non permanent and not too grown up.

But then my two year old dd has her toe and finger nails painted at the moment, purely because ds4 (5 yrs) has his painted and she wanted hers done as well, I saw no good reason to say no, its non permanently and its just play to her she regularly colours herself and ds4 in with felt tip pens at least nail polish comes off easily

baskingseals · 20/07/2013 18:30

I think worra it's because it's non sexual.

BreadNameBread · 20/07/2013 18:30

I see dip dyeing hair as a fun thing to do rather than an adult thing. I don't know any adults or even any teens who dip dry their hair. The other things I mentioned are all things that children do to mimic adults.

I didn't want my girls to look like mini teens. Luckily they were never interested (apart from dip dyeing). My niece who is ten would wear make up to school if she was allowed to. Her parents disapprove and don't let her but she would if she could.

WorraLiberty · 20/07/2013 18:31

This is obviously going to be a Summer fashion judging by the sheer volume of people on this thread, who are going to dye their children's hair.

Perhaps I just haven't seen it yet here (London) because the kids haven't broken up from school yet?

I await with interest

WorraLiberty · 20/07/2013 18:34

I think worra it's because it's non sexual.

Are false eyelashes/spray tans/false nails sexual?

I'm just suprised at the amount of people who would rather dye their children's hair than drum home the message, they look beautiful naturally.

7 and 8yr olds have barely had time to accept their natural looks

nowahousewife · 20/07/2013 18:35

I'm a bit of an old prude and tend to agree with Worra. I think it's good for them to have things to look forward too as they grow up. My DD has wanted to dip dye her hair for a couple of years and I've said yes for this summer but it must be all gone before she goes back to school. She's 15.

But each to their own and I do seem to be in a minority here!

SirChenjin · 20/07/2013 18:35

I wouldn't allow this, even for fun (and I'm struggling to think of a superhero who has dip dyed pink or lilac hair...). Not at 8, it's too young. Something for the experimental teenage years I think, along with the fake tan and the rest.

5madthings · 20/07/2013 18:39

Songbird is a superhero from marvel avengers with dyed hair, red with white streaks/ends. She was originally a 'baddy' but became an avenger.

knows far too much about superheroes as ds4 is obsessed

baskingseals · 20/07/2013 18:40

Yes I think they are. More so than pink tips on your hair anyway.

5madthings · 20/07/2013 18:41

Silver law is another super hero with dip dyed hair, black with white ends, she is both good and bad tho at various points, good on the whole tho I think...

PrettyKitty1986 · 20/07/2013 18:41

YABU.

I wouldn't even think into it as deeply as 'letting them grow up too soon' or 'giving them the wrong message'. I wouldn't let my 8 year old child dye their hair anyway, because (to me), hair that is dyed on young girls looks chavvy and common. That would be enough reason.
for the same reason, I won't let my ds's have their ears pierced

SirChenjin · 20/07/2013 18:43

Dyed black or red - no superhero that I'm aware of has lilac or pink, which makes me think it's not so much the superhero which appeal as the dip dye.

Original poster
cluckyduck · 20/07/2013 18:44

I think I should talk to her more about WHY she wants it done. On the whole I don't think it's harmful, but thank you for your viewpoints.

I will ask her a bit more about it and decide accordingly. Thank you all Smile

Ps children cannot be "chavvy" - that is your own horrific prejudices imprinted upon them. HTH.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 20/07/2013 18:45

So false eyelashes and spray tans are sexual but hair dye isn't?

Personally I don't think 'sexual' comes into it but all 3 are too grown up for a little child imo.

baskingseals · 20/07/2013 18:46

Why do you think people are happy to let their dc dip dye their hair, but not wear high heels or false eyelashes then worra?

5madthings · 20/07/2013 18:47

But who says she is doing it to 'look beautiful' its just a bit of dress up/play in the superhero theme as the child has said. If her brother is into superheros no doubt she knows about marvel superheros and avengers etc, lots of them have dyed/multicoloured hair, both male and female.

When my children paint their nails or use gel on their hair its not about looking attractive, its because its fun.

LtEveDallas · 20/07/2013 18:48

I remember taking DNephew into town on the first day of the school hols to have a Nike Swoosh cut into his hair. Bloody hell, that must have been something like 20 years ago now Shock

I'd let DD do the dip dye thing I think, but she's got very dark brown hair so I assume she'd need to be bleached first, and I wouldn't want to do that. Shame really, I'd certainly get 'cool mum' points from her if I did it Grin

Crowler · 20/07/2013 18:50

No way would I allow it, but I am a possibly a fuddy duddy.

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