I look after DNephew (3) unofficially, usually 1-2 days a week, though it varies. As a result of SIL and BIL's working hours, DNephew is usually left with PIL for most of the weekend (11am-11pm). Poor PIL are going through a really hard time at the minute, and to give them a break and for the benefit of my own DC, I often bring DN to our house to play. Sometimes I am asked and sometimes I offer, it's nice for the cousins to see each other, etc,etc. This has been going on about 6 months plus.
The only issue is that DN will eat nothing but chicken nuggets,potato waffles, and bananas, and will only drink fruit shoots. This means that I have to buy all of the above specifically for DN's visits, as we do not eat them (except for bananas). We are on a very tight budget and cook from scratch. Living in an area with limited shops means we often spend a fiver or more on foods which are only for DN, while my DC eat the food which I have budgeted and planned for. I know it doesn't sound a lot, but it is to us. The chicken nuggets have to be a certain type- made and sold by the local butcher, so 3.50 for a box of about 10- the issue is DN will easily eat the lot in one day, as he has them for both lunch and dinner and they are quite small. The potato waffles and fruit shoots are less of a problem, because they will keep until the next time, but even so I still end up having to buy them every other week at least.
I don't often get to supermarkets, but I have tried to buy cheaper substitutes to keep for DN, but SIL found out and I got the impression she was not happy as it was poorer quality and apparently DN can tell the difference. Also tried saving the fruit shoot bottles and filling with dilutable squash, but DN refused to drink it.
For a few weeks I tried giving DN no chicken nuggets and offering him what my DC were having. He refused to eat it and was apparently up most of the evening "sobbing with hunger"- SIL kicked up a bit of a fuss and was derogatory about my own family's diet.
Basically...AIBU to expect SIL to therefore send round food for her son or accept that he will have to eat as we do? I feel as though I am being horribly petty and tight, but we really are poor at the minute and have to be so careful with our own food budget.
AIBU?
AIBU about visiting DC and food?
SnailsInMyPaddlingPool · 20/07/2013 14:49
Sorry i don't know your SIL and that sounds little too harsh. That should be sounds like a right piece of work 
Wow, your SIL is a nightmare! YANBU at all and bloody well done for standing up to her. Your poor MIL though! Imagine demanding to see a doctor's note to prove someone can't do a MASSIVE favour for you! 
Oh my god my mouth is on the floor, she is just something else. I am so pleased for your PIL standing their ground, good on them! Demanding to see a doctors certificate , she is just a nasty toxic person, she does not care one jot about her parents. Tey are intact reading her Chid not her, and she wants another one
ALSO wanted to comment in respect of the eating - my DS2 is now 3.5, but at around 2 his diet was similar to your nephew - basically a certain brand of processed sausages, certain yoghurts, and dry stuff like plain crackers or bread sticks, and ella's red pouches, and milk.
We went to see a paediatrician who specialises in fussy eating (my older 2 kids eat fine) and she said that we had to be very firm - cut out the milk, and basically he wouldn't starve himself. It was v difficult as we had nights of him crying all night asking for milk (as he had refused all the food on offer) but we found that the next day he was so hungry he would agree to try new foods, like meat sauce with hidden veg, veg soup etc etc. I have told friends and a lot of people have been quite that we were prepared to let him go hungry, but I felt more confident following dr's advice.
Anyway, a year on, his diet is still limited in that he won't eat any fruit or veg, but its much much better as he will eat any sausages, any burgers (even homemade with whatever meat I have), meat balls, bolognaise sauce with hidden veg, veg soup with hidden veg, fish fingers (even homemade ones with salmon) any yoghurt, any chicken nuggets, pasta, rice, tomato sauce, bread etc etc.
From what you said about her I can't see her following through with a plan to improve his diet, but maybe at school it might improve (although she might send in packed lunches??).....
if it wasn't for the fact it's only a nephew, I'd say we had the same SIL! Your SIL sounds as bonkers as dh's!
I'd pull her up about the post on FB.
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