To think shop staff shouldn't comment on customers parenting skills?

[SillyBlueHat]

Took dd to buy some new shoes. She is not good at trying new shoes at the best of times and was hot and tired. Rather than ensure full on toddler tantrum I was gently trying her to try on some shoes by trying on shoes myself, asking her to pick some herself etc.

The store assistant was making comments about dd playing up and letting her know who was boss. I gave her my best glare but was really unimpressed!

It's not a shop assistant's place to comment but I think your approach is pandering to your child a bit, sorry

Don't glare! Tell her that you're just trying to get through the odious task of shoe shopping, in the heat, with a wizened old grouch judging her at every turn, and if humouring DD by letting her pick some shoes gets the job done, so be it.

Unless she'd LIKE to see tired toddler melt-down.

Don't stand for rudeness. I hope you didn't actually BUY from this woman? I wouldn't have done!

I would've said something too and not bought anything.

YANBU and it doesn't sound like pandering either. It sounds like you are trying to help your daughter enjoy something she doesn't usually like by making it a bit more fun for her. Which is really sensible because if this shoe-shopping trip goes more smoothly that paves the way for the next one being less stressful and so on. The silly shop assistant may not have understood the long game you are playing...

Thank you for your posts. I came away thinking 'am I one of those mothers who lets their child get away with everything?'. I do tend to reason with her rather than just shout and normally I can get her to do what I want using this method. Today it wasn't happening, I shouldn't even have tried it when she was hot and tired.
She used to scream when shoe shop staff approached her so she has improved. I'm no way going to force her to try on shoes as we'll be back to square one again.
Maybe I should have complained

YANBU.

I took my one year old DS shoe shopping today. It seemed like everyone else had the same idea. A toddler in a busy shop with a queue when all he wants to do is run around is not fun. I was exhausted!

Don't blame yourself for trying, sometimes children will need new shoes when the weather is hot!

At least your long game is paying off. You could complain but I doubt you'd achieve much in terms of a meeting of minds. There are people who think the job of parents is to boss small children around. And there are people who think the job of parents is to help their children negotiate a confusing and sometimes frightening world by explaining things and making them seem safe and fun. People in the first group often find it hard to understand what people in the second group are doing.

You could try and find a shoe shop staffed by people in the second group?

YANBU, she was rude.

It was rude as sometimes you can't win whatever approach you take!

DD for some reason (probably until we can explain what is happening) goes nuts about getting her feet measured.

Last time I just went with "sod it this'll only take a minute" and held her still while she got them measured. The noise was unholy!!

If I'd been in the same shop as you the woman might well have had something to say about the tantruming toddler with flailing limbs (one of which caught me right on the nose!)