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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have reported children out alone to police?

37 replies

BusyLizzie99 · 19/07/2013 11:18

This morning I was walking through the park when two young children, aged around 4 and 7, passed me on scooters. I expected whoever was with them was trailing behind as they were going quite fast. However, when we came to the end of the park they were waiting to cross the road and then crossed alone. They then proceeded to cross a busy road and there was no sign of any parent/carer. I called the non emergency number and reported them to the police as IMO they are too young to be out alone - they were debating whether to cross between moving cars rather than wait for the green man and the younger one in particular looked as though he may scoot across at the wrong time. However, I told my friend about it afterwards and she said I shouldn't have 'interfered' and 'how would I feel if I caused someone to lose their kids?' WIBU?

OP posts:
horsetowater · 19/07/2013 11:20

I think you did the right thing. Back in the 1950s it would have been different.

wasabipeanut · 19/07/2013 11:23

I think you were right, although I suspect many may disagree. Times have changed. A mature 7 year old might be ok at a push but younger than that - no way. Traffic levels are vastly higher than they used to be and cars are designed to keep passengers safe - God help anyone they hit.

mrsravelstein · 19/07/2013 11:27

i don't think i would let a 4 and 7 yr old out on their own, mainly because i wouldn't want the 7yr to have to be responsible for the 4yo, but i am pretty sure it's not illegal... there was a case a few years back of kids of similar age in south london who were cycling to school, there was a huge fuss about it

ihatethecold · 19/07/2013 11:27

You did the right thing.

curlew · 19/07/2013 11:30

What did the police say?

Original poster
BusyLizzie99 · 19/07/2013 11:32

They thanked me for reporting it, took their descriptions and sent a car to look for them.

OP posts:
98percentchocolate · 19/07/2013 11:42

I think you did the right thing and would have done the same if I were there.
Wrt what your friend said, I doubt SS would take the children away from the parents unless there was a catalogue of incidents - in which case you were definitely right in reporting it! Most likely the parents will just get a ticking off.

formicadinosaur · 19/07/2013 13:32

You did the right thing. It would be awful if they had been run over

iklboo · 19/07/2013 13:35

They might have sneaked out while parents' backs were turned and parents frantic looking for them at home. I think you did the right thing.

curlew · 19/07/2013 13:38

I'm so on the fence about this. I think maybe if they had been walking it would be different. scootering adds another danger and brain bypass factor.....

HeySoulSister · 19/07/2013 13:40

they looked 4 and 7.....how good is your judgement?maybe a parent was observing closeby and you didn't see them

YouTheCat · 19/07/2013 13:41

I think the fact that a 7 year old has been given the responsibility of looking after a 4 year old outside near busy roads is pretty awful.

NoComet · 19/07/2013 13:45

I walked home at 7 from infants a couple of times as a treat. Most of the Y2s who lived nearer school always did.

I think as a one off I'd have kept my nose out.

YouTheCat · 19/07/2013 13:46

Were you in charge of a younger child though?

kelda · 19/07/2013 13:51

yes in the 1950s things would have been different, the main difference, far fewer cars on the roads.

My 9 yo and 7 yo walk to school alone sometimes, but I have spent the past few years drilling them on the safety of crossing roads/car driveways (which are just as lethal as busy roads when the car reverses onto the pavement).

I would never give them the responsibility of looking after their four year old brother.

YANBU.

Hamwidgeandcheps · 19/07/2013 14:02

You did the right thing. They were too little.

EmmelineGoulden · 19/07/2013 14:02

If you were worried about them you weren't wrong to report it to the police they can check. The idea you shouldn't report incase a parent looses their kids is asinine. The parent would only loose their kids if they weren't fit to look after them.

It may be that the parent has drilled them over and over and they've done the route and were fine (the bit about debating darting through traffic suggests otherwise, but it sounds like they made the right decision in the end despite temptation) or it might be they're out of their depth and the family needs help. The only way to find put is to ask questions and offer that help, which is something the police as positioned to set in motion. You could also have spoken to them yourself if you had time - if they did need help they might have appreciated it then and there.

notso · 19/07/2013 14:03

I don't know where I stand on this.
If I was their mother and had decided that, knowing my own children and their ages they were sensible enough to be out alone I would be quite rightly pissed off if some do-gooder reported me to the police.

However if my children were out without my knowledge or wandering further than allowed I would be eternally grateful that someone was looking out for them.

dementedmumof6 · 19/07/2013 14:05

Are you sure the older one was only 7 as my 10year old has been stopped a few times by people asking why she is out alone while going to her friends house as she looks about 5 , she is tiny my soon to be 5yr old is only about 7 inches shorter than her.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 19/07/2013 14:13

I think you did the right thing.

Notso

Potentially annoying or embarrassing the parents isn't a good enough reason to do nothing. We do all have to make our own judgments about our own children. Sometimes they will be wrong. She wouldn't be reprting the parents to the police, she'd be looking out for the welfare of the children.

Jan49 · 19/07/2013 14:19

YWNBU

To your friend who said how would you feel if you caused someone to lose their kids, I would say "how would you feel if letting the children out alone caused them to be run over and you did nothing?"

fatfingers · 19/07/2013 14:31

YABU. From your account, I take it that the children crossed at the lights safely? There is no reason, in those circumstances, not to think that parents had taught them how to cross that road and felt they were ok to be out alone. You were making a catastrophe out of nothing.

MammaTJ · 19/07/2013 14:40

YANBU. If the paretns were indeed close by, then no harm done. If they were older than they looked, again, no harm done!

The parents will hopefully have had a little wake up call as to how to care for their children, if that were needed.

You would never have forgiven yourself if you had done nothing and something happened to them.

Finola1step · 19/07/2013 14:41

I think you did the right thing. If it was a 7 year old left at home to look after a four year old, then I doubt people would think twice about reporting.

The fact that they were outdoors does not change the fact that a 7 year old was responsible for the safety and welfare of a 4 year old.

It does not matter what we might have been able to do or not do growing up. No 7 year old should be put in this situation.

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