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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take my 4 year old to the local pub tomorrow afternoon ...

18 replies

TokenGirl1 · 18/07/2013 21:45

when she's having a massive paddy because she's overtired because the noisy sods have had a loud choir singing outside for the last three hours and she's only just got off to sleep.

I phoned them to tell them that we could hear the noise from our house and they said sorry it would be finished by 10 even though they knew it was keeping her awake.

Thought that having them listen to her screaming over tired fit might make be a bit more considerate next time and move the singers to the beer garden if someone phones to say they can hear it through closed windows down the road.

This happens regularly and I've never complained have just accepted that we live near a pub but tonight it's really got on my nerves!

OP posts:
MrsOakenshield · 18/07/2013 21:50

at the very least it would be good if they could let local residents know when this is going to happen - my 3 year old didn't go to sleep till 9.20, but that's because we started bedtime late and she was up late anyway - so it wasn't a problem. My point (there is one!) being that if you know this is on the cards you can make adjustments to your day accordingly.

Is it a nice choir? If it's outside could you make a thing of it and take DD there to listen?

Frustrating, I know, and worth having a polite chat, but it is a pub so not sure what you can really do.

Original poster
TokenGirl1 · 18/07/2013 21:55

Was thinking of taking her over there but my 3 year old is asleep so not an option. She wanted to go over there and tell them to be quiet too!

I just don't understand why they have to have it out the front of the pub and not out the back where they are surrounded by offices.

I guess the noise 3 or 4 times a week sometimes till midnight is getting to me now. If I could afford to move I would but we're stuck here for now.

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MrsOakenshield · 18/07/2013 21:58

wow, that is very often indeed! Can you speak to the council noise team about it - I'd be surprised if they'd be happy about that.

I thought you were going to say every fortnight or something.

Maybe speak to the choir leader as well?

I'd be surprised if you were the only person not happy about it.

xylem8 · 18/07/2013 22:01

I would ring the council and check what their public entertainment licence covers

KobayashiMaru · 18/07/2013 22:03

Seriously, hours long screaming fits from a four year old because of singing? Have you seen a HV or dr, that doesn't sound normal.
Use some white noise to drown it out, buy her ear defenders, or train her not to need quiet, you could try any of those.

Original poster
TokenGirl1 · 18/07/2013 22:04

If my dh was home I would have gone over there and politely explained the situation. It's not the choir every time, it's usually singers.

The music was what I'd describe as easy listening, enjoyable usually but when you're trying to get your child to bed so you can eat and then work it's immensely irritating!

A few times I've thought about the council but don't want to have a row with the neighbours. I guess if it does annoy me more I might have to look into it....

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Original poster
TokenGirl1 · 18/07/2013 22:06

My dd isn't having a screaming fit for hours now but she will be having tantrums tomorrow pm because she's over tired from being kept awake for hours past her bed time.

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MrsOakenshield · 18/07/2013 22:07

if it's ongoing then, if possible, I would ensure you eat before bedtime and perhaps shift everything back a wee bit? I agree that struggling to put a child down when you're hungry is a nightmare!

arethereanyleftatall · 18/07/2013 22:07

I wonder if it might be just best to accept living near a pub this is going to happen and work out if there is anything you can do, from your end. not that you're being unreasonable, just that there's nothing you can do about it. For example, can you let her sleep till 8, can she have an afternoon nap,, can you switch her bedroom...can't think of anything else. ..

KobayashiMaru · 18/07/2013 22:08

maybe a nap would be better than the pub then?

I know its annoying, but if its where you live, and you can't move, you just have to find ways to work around it.

Original poster
TokenGirl1 · 18/07/2013 22:08

And she doesn't usually need quiet thankfully she normally sleeps through the usual racket we get several times a week. It just happened that it started at bed time and carried on for 3 hours...

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Original poster
TokenGirl1 · 18/07/2013 22:12

Yes I do normally work around it and accept it but I think it's the guy's attitude when I phoned up to say it was disturbing us that has annoyed me. I guess I'm secretly day dreaming about showing him the consequence of the pub being inconsiderate neighbours. He just didn't really care.

I normally don't say boo to a goose but tonight has been the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak.

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Original poster
TokenGirl1 · 18/07/2013 22:15

Xylem I think I might check their licence as I often think some of it can't be allowed.

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DoItTooJulia · 18/07/2013 22:17

If you contact the council, there will be no row with your neighbours. Everyone has the right to enjoy their home and not suffer from noise nuisance.

The council will want evidence of the nuisance and if they establish one will serve an noise abatement notice on them, forcing them to be quiet. With licensed premises there is far more incentive to comply as they could lose their license. Often, it never gets anywhere near as far as that as the council will try and resolve the issue informally first, after all it's a foolhardy landlord that ignores the council warning!

Call he council and just talk to them about it, see what they think and what they suggest. You don't have to log a complaint, you can seek advice and a better understanding of the service they offer first!

Original poster
TokenGirl1 · 18/07/2013 22:20

Thanks Dolt I will do that as I'm worried that one day I'll snap and say something I'll regret because I've let it build up.

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Xihha · 18/07/2013 22:45

Do you know if the guy on the phone was the landlord or jut a barman? We had an issue a few years back in a pub i was managing where someone phoned to complain about the noise and the new barman was rude to them and didn't bother to pass the message on so nobody else knew there was an issue until the council got in touch, where as had she popped in to see me or the landlord we would of been happy to sort it (as we did as soon as the council spoke to him). So if you aren't sure who you spoke to it might be worth popping in to have a chat with the landord/landlady/manager.

lessonsintightropes · 18/07/2013 23:20

Just to check, and not to flame, but was the pub already there when you moved in? And if so, were you already planning on DCs at the time? I'm sure any reasonable request to tone things down will be dealt with, but where I live (SE) pubs can generally be fairly noisy until ten and very quiet after (i.e. garden closes etc), but this is generally fairly well known and people who can't cope with any noise generally wouldn't choose to move nearby to one iyswim. So YANBU to want to be able to get your DC to sleep, but perhaps a bit unwise to move so close to a pub?

DoItTooJulia · 19/07/2013 07:38

Moving to a nuisance is not a defence for a noisy pub. There is case law to back this up. Call the council. Honestly.

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