ok that's only part of it.
I used to get on well with FIL for first couple of years. But then I found out what he's really like.
FIL is now well past retirement age, but been unemployed since his 30's cos he couldn't be bothered to work (DH's words not mine). Therefore, he has no money apart from benefits he receives.
When he very occasionally helped us, with odd jobs around house, DH got into a habit of paying him 'wages'. He usually makes a mess of the odd jobs requiring them to be redone by someone else.
DH bought FIL a car (which meant i had to pay a much larger proportion for our next car as he'd already paid for FIL). This is because FIL 'doesn't do public transport' (his own words).
DH also bailed him out financially on lots of other occasions.
When he had been a guest in MY house (DH had his own house) for several weekends, eating food that i had cooked and paid for, he told me that the man of the house should be boss of the house. He would whistle at me to make him cups of tea and never cleared up after himself.
When we were going on holiday he asked DH for the keys to my house saying that he could 'keep an eye on it'. DH said no, as he knew that he just wanted somewhere else to doss, and it 's not DH's house to give the keys out. He also expected to borrow my car when he was between cars. DH said no again, but lent FIL his car.
As for my DM, he tried it on with her, making unwanted physical advances. He knew she had a partner, and had met him, but thought he'd have a crack anyway. As a result she now feels very uncomfortable around him. After i had a few words, DH told him not to do it again.
He has no friends. He said he doesn't want to hang around with old people, and is often eyeing up alot younger women, even stating that 40-something year old women look at his crotch for 'you know what'!
He has mentioned moving near to us, but it fills me with dread.
AIBU to not want him to move here?
Dh initially wanted him to move nearer, but now he can see that it will just cause more problems.