to have fly rage?

[Fairylea]

Seriously fuck off you bastarding cunting fucking fly!

Stop landing on me every two seconds just because I've decided to sit down for a few minutes with a tea.

(Disclaimer : I know flies cannot read. But I am in need of arant).

A rant.

Not arant. Sounds like a new fly spray!

My mums got an electric fly killing bat it shocks them to death

I need one of those. Maybe one for each hand. I'll go all Andy Murray on them.

There are flies everywhere! They are driving me mad. There are loads in our kitchen, it's horrible.

I bought a UV zapper last week, its hanging on my hall wall, the bastards are dropping like files

although the hall resembles a butchers now with blue lighting

Get a pitcher plant (garden centres). They secrete a sweet substance that attracts insects, then they fall into the pitcher and the liquid inside digests them.

Environmentally friendly, educational and you get an unusual house plant that earns its keep

I've got these on all my windows.

Little buzzy fuckers.

Aerosol and lighter, go napalm them its great fun.

I have loads in my kitchen driving me insane. They piss off when I am ready with my swat. Won't land anywhere to get the bastards.
Did fly spray yesterday and sealed them in the room. Half hour later still there happy as larry, laughing at me.

It's not just normal flies either. No. It's those giant 500 horsepower shit eating super turbocharged blue balls of airborne horror. I hate those fuckers more than I can express. And they come - one after the other - through any open door or window to make my life a complete misery.

I found the EGGS of those Blue Balls If Airborne Terror in my cats bowl the other day.

Nearly moved.

I use hairspray on them. They cant flap their wings so well and it slows them down for a swot. My cats are rubbish - make no effort at all to go after them.

I feel your pain..

I'm in rural Oxfordshire and we get huge horseflies in the house. Nasty, ugly, filthy bastards!

Fayek we have those buggers n they don't half hurt like I don't know what

Malcomtuckersmum hate those little bastard especially when they get upstairs !!!

Am I the only one that (even thought get fly rage), I can't bring myself to kill them?

Even though I get fly rage...

boutique YES!! When the fuckers get upstairs it's like they lose all sense of whatever miniscule reason they had in the first place as they fly idiotically from room to room - sometimes within millimeters of an open window only to zoom past it whilst doing a 500mph U-turn on their insane mission to get to another room with an open window.

Fucking useless fuckers!

Wine I do hate killing them. Not because of sympathy, because they're bloody disgusting.

We have fecking hundreds of the bastards, horseflies included, ready to invade the minute we open a window. It's driving me bonkers.

What's a good (natural) deterrent? Our cat is useless - if anything, his bowl makes it worse

I'd kill them Wine except I can't catch the fuckers. I will admit I won't use spray - I can't bear the stink of it and I hate the 8 hour 'I'm going to buzz senselessly round and round on the floor' dying routine.

Bastards!! could any one tell me why they are even on this planet? For what reason?!

I cant bare to be in the same room as one!

yes and WHY do they congregate under a light fitting when its not even on and just do the whole circular ballet for HOURS!!!!!

Some good ideas here :) thank you!

I am currently under siege from 3 of them!

Yes! I want to know that too. That's the little not-too-buzzy really fuckwitted ones. I want to know just what is going on under that light fitting that sends you all into paroxysms of ecstasy? And where do you go when you're done with that? Because there's never a pile of bodies on the floor directly under the light is there? Where to they go?

I bought a can of RAID the other day, from sainsbury's. It smells of apples. I haven't got a central light and the fuckers are still going round in circles.

My cat catches the medium sized ones and the B52's come in the kitchen window and out through my bedroom window without doing a circuit

I had a sodding horse fly down my bra on Sunday, the little fucker bit me right on the tit and made me bleed!! But I had real rage when one landed on my poor innocent 4 year old and bit him, the sheer look of terror on his face was enough for me to declare war on all the flying fuckers from now on!!!