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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU/petty to say something about this?

51 replies

Onroute66 · 18/07/2013 10:32

I'm really annoyed right now but don't know if I'm being ott.

Went to last assembly today, all of the children with 95% attendance or above stood up for a round of applause and also got enterered into a prize draw to win something very nice.

I sat there and waited, and ds name didn't get called out so he didn't get to stand up and be clapped. He got his 100% certificate for the term, but not for the year. So I'm assuming he probably didn't go into the prize draw either.

I'm not overly hung up on attendance, but if they're going to do something to acknowledge it, I'd rather ds wasn't missed out.

Is it worth mentioning it later at hometime or just leave it as there's nothing that can be done now anyway?

OP posts:
Original poster
Onroute66 · 18/07/2013 11:15

Well why should I consider changing schools? Because the school acknowledges attendance? Really, so I'm going to disrupt my childs education, remove him from all his friends, because the school makes a fuss about good attendance?

Which most schools do now anyway as it come down from government and effects their Ofsted rating. I'd say that's fairly ridiculous.

OP posts:
CockyFox · 18/07/2013 11:16

I am in the minority that agree with attendance incentives. I think they teach children that going to school (and work when they are older) is not optional.

Your son was expecting to be mentioned and wasn't then the school made a mistake and would probably rectify it by mentioning him the next assembly.

As for changing schools well that is just daft. Attendance is part of OFSTED and schools are encouraged to have incentive programmes. I know this as DH is an educational welfare officer (otherwise known as the wag man.)

CSIJanner · 18/07/2013 11:17

If it was a tube of smarties as a reard, then I would say leave it and reward him yourself.

But a bike! They should have ensured that every single eligible child was in the draw. In this instance, I would raise it with the school. It's not on that children who were supposed to be in the draw did not get the chance to win a bike. Lets face it, piss poor attention to detail by the teachers which means that another child may have also be left out.

I don't know what they would offer as a solution though as you can't "unprize" a gift from the winners. I think the best you can hope for is an apology.

RoooneyMara · 18/07/2013 11:19

No, it was completely genuine and now I am regretting posting at all.

I was NOT being sarcastic and was merely posting what I would feel, MYSELF, in this situation - however it seems that is unwelcome so I'll leave you all to it.

ffs

Panzee · 18/07/2013 11:21

Say something. I once missed a child for a sports award, a genuine oversight. She was upset and I was mortified. That poor child.

RoooneyMara · 18/07/2013 11:21

and I didn't suggest you should change schools. You have reacted to my post as though I were attacking you. I just said, I would consider changing schools because round here there are a lot that don't reward attendance and it doesn't sit right with me.

springytoto · 18/07/2013 11:22

What's 'ott' about saying that your son has clearly been left off the list?

ffs - they left him off the list, tell them. What's with all the eggshells. Some schools may want to treat parents like irritating fleas but that's their problem. You don't have to storm in - I'm sure you wouldn't! - just say it, say he got left off. Ask if there's a problem accept recompense for their cack handling

Original poster
Onroute66 · 18/07/2013 11:23

Thank you cory, I think it was sarcasm, but I'm not hysterical, I'm annoyed/meh because yes I like seeing ds get to stand up, yes I'd have loved him to go into the prize draw of course. I'm probably being a bit pfb.

Cockyfox I'm on the fence regarding attendance incentives. We don't have ed welfare he anymore, but I work for the organisation that replaced them, alongside the ex ed welfare officers who deal with the attendance. And I don't think some people realise how bad it can get, or some of the poor reasons for terrible attendance. It really isn't about those who have had a run of bad luck being poorly. Who will usually get aknowledged in some other way.

OP posts:
piprabbit · 18/07/2013 11:24

Honestly - the school have made a mistake, tell them and give them a chance to correct it. They would probably be mortified to know they had upset a child unintentionally.

In fact our HT actually asked parents to let her know if they felt there was an issue with the attendance awards.

RoooneyMara · 18/07/2013 11:24

It was NOT sarcasm. JESUS

I hadn't even read the full thread.

pictish · 18/07/2013 11:27

I don't care for these petty tactics to pressure parents and kids alike about attendance. Fwiw my kids attendance is good...no problems there, but still I don't expect it to be some sort of stick, to mildly beat people with. It's unfair, and ultimately not their call.
Our school don't do this sort of thing. It's a small, intimate school and parents would moan like fuck about it.

CockyFox · 18/07/2013 11:27

Off Topic a little but how is the replacement service working? They are consulting on changing how it works here, it is looking like a change to more schools based attendance officers at the moment.
I agree some of the reasons are terrible, DH gets really upset by the circumstances of a couple of families he works with.

Original poster
Onroute66 · 18/07/2013 11:27

I was probably just going to say something along the lines of. "I just wanted to mention that ds didn't get called out in assembly today so I'm assuming he wasn't in the prize draw either, not to worry but he was thinking he was going to". Of course there's nothing that they can do but I'm sort of saying, "can you be more careful next time?".

OP posts:
RoooneyMara · 18/07/2013 11:28

Yes that sounds about right.

RoooneyMara · 18/07/2013 11:29

Disclaimer: my last post was not sarcastic either.

shewhowines · 18/07/2013 11:30

I would think the same as you. It's not a huge deal but I would feel miffed too. You made a special effort to be there, both of you were expecting that he would be involved. You had to listen to 15mins of speech and your Ds wasn't acknowledged. The bike was secondary to that. They have made a big deal of it so YANBU to want to be a part of that.

I would drop an email and say how disappointed you were for the above reasons. Say that you know it is too late to do anything now but you just wanted to let them know so that they can avoid it happening in the future to other children. Be matter of fact but let them know.

shewhowines · 18/07/2013 11:31

x post

Original poster
Onroute66 · 18/07/2013 11:34

Not good cockyfox, we were 50% funded by schools, who a year later pulled that funding, two years on and the whole service has had another big shake up so attendance has now gone directly to schools who I believe are struggling a bit.

I'm not too sure what to think now, mixed responses and opinions, I absolutely wasn't going to go in all guns blazing, I'll have a think thoughout the day.

OP posts:
RoooneyMara · 18/07/2013 11:46

Good luck. I hope you're not as harsh and unfriendly as you came across to me, in real life, because I've made a mental note not to answer your threads any more (I've already answered at least one, yesterday) and the school might feel the same.

I had not seen other people's comments to you before I posted and did so genuinely. You called me ridiculous and refused to acknowledge my clarifications.

I'm sure you can do without my input though. I'm probably just another 'inadequate little fool' to you.

Cheerio.

ChaosTrulyReigns · 18/07/2013 11:46

I think that the bike is a completely inappropriate level of prize to reward children for something that really is out of control/down to luck.

How on earth us that funded?

Original poster
Onroute66 · 18/07/2013 11:55

I'm not harsh and unfriendly, quite the opposite.

I asked a genuine question regarding something that had bothered me, I acknowledged that I may be being petty or ott.

Your response was to tell me attendance rewards are shit and to consider changing schools. I have since read your follow up comments and I having refused to respond I am pottering about and have being replying as quickly as I could to other people.

And all well and good looking up my past threads, but bringing the sexist, skiving work colleague into the discussion is totally irrelevant and nothing whatsoever to do with this.

OP posts:
OvoLactoBaco · 18/07/2013 11:56

RoooneyMara

Ahahahahahahahaha

Bahahahahahahahaha

That was hilarious thank you

RoooneyMara · 18/07/2013 11:59

Yes perhaps my initial response was unhelpful to you, in your situation, I apologise for that - mostly people just ignore those who are unhelpful, though, and instead you rounded on me.

Fair enough, that is your style but it did take me aback. I am glad you have read my follow up comments and no longer think I was being unkind or sarcastic at least.

I don't know what to say to Ovo's post though, they have lost me there. I hope it goes well at the school and I can see why you were upset.

CockyFox · 18/07/2013 12:00

Thanks Onroute. I am hoping DH will still have a job following the restructuring.

maternitart · 18/07/2013 12:05

OP ignoring the bunfight in this thread, I think what you plan to say is perfect and yes I would say it. It might not help your DS but it could prevent another child being left out in future.