to think that abuse in relationships start like Daley acted in BB?

[shewhowines]

So he asked her to give him his duvet back when they were playfighting. She did push it a bit far, but no matter what, Daley should not have acted like he did and there is no excuse under the sun to treat her how he did.

AIBU in thinking that is probably a good insight into DV?

Yes it is. So is his 'what did I did wrong' attitude and blaming her.

One of them...yeah.

I havent watched bb this year, but I did view the clips that made the headlines. What a horror he is.

I think abuse starts even more subtly than that, it starts with undermining your confidence and controlling you, ostracizing you from family and friends, controlling finances, your appearance and your day-to-day life before it becomes physical.

My DM's friend was murdered by her husband in front of her kids and began like that.

What happened?

Obviously not ALL abuse starts like that, don't want to generalize.

He if an awful excuse for a man. But I would be surprised if abuse normally happens so quickly, surely no one would stay in a relationship that was so new if a man behaved like that? Unless people have been brought up up think.that's normal.

They are a pair of narcissistic twats.
She reckons she's got it in her to stand up to him, being such a sexy biatch and all, but during the make up rant, it is clear she stands no chance.
He squares right up to her and gets her told, like fuck knows who he thinks he is, and she flails like a fish out of water.
She is excited by him though, the bloody fool.

He then goes on to prove that he is exactly who he thinks he is, and it quickly gets out of hand. The puffed up freak. Don't fancy yours much Haze!

Of course, she will be vilified. I heard something about his gf standing by him?
It's fucking depressing.

Lilacpeony and anyone else who didn't see what happened.

link

I found the footage very scary to watch,I asked dp when the fuck big brother were actually going to step in and stop it.
I don't condone dv at all,Hazel however must take responsibility for her actions,she pulled daleys shorts down and if a man did that there would be uproar,but it is a seperate issue I think,absolutely doesn't justify his response.
The scenes of him hissing in her ear about respecting elders etc and calling her a little girl were hideous.I don't care how much alcohol he had,just vile.
I think what has shocked me most is his reaction to her since,on the bb when it happened his response in the diary room when being told He was being removed ge turned on Hazel instantly,she was a liar,devious etc. And his interview with Emma,he couldn't even talk about Hazel,key alone apologise to her.I don't want him to apologise if he offended 'women',I wanted to hear him apologise to Hazel on tv for threatening to headbutt her,grabbing her throat and scaring her.the fact he didn't shows me he is a nasty character.I would hope Hazel gets some support from bb after the show ends,and that Daley does not get any kind of deal,promotion after this.

I am hoping that this will empower some women who experience relationships like this, to realise that it is not right or acceptable in any circumstances, and i'm hoping that it gives them the courage to get out.

We all have an idea of Dv in our heads but to actually see it with our own eyes is shocking but useful too, to people who think they are "alone" in suffering at the hands of people who seem nice and normal to other people.

The guy is complete fuck up. He keeps saying he would never disrespect a woman or be aggressive to her, yet there he is on camera for everyone to see, doing precisely that.

He is utterly in denial about his own actions.

I found the viewing very very uncomfortable. Yes, Hazel should never have pulled down his shorts, but his reaction was not warranted at all!

The comments surrounding it online are utterly depressing, she is vilified and blamed. She looked terrified, and was trying to act tough, but I'd say both men and women, when confronted by a man who hisses and is in their face would be terrified and would react in many different ways.

I'm glad BB removed him, I'm about to watch the interview, but the way he conducted himself and also how he spoke about Hazel after my thoughts on him are extremely dim.

It comes across that he feels contempt for Hazel for being removed from the house. He hasn't really taken any sort of responsibility for his actions, blaming the alcohol and his upbringing. The fact he didn't even want to "chat her name" during the interview to me shows he feels she is responsible for his downfall.

I was very uncomfortable watching the footage. Hazel shouldn't have pulled his shorts down but she did try to calm the situation down by suggesting they have a cuddle.

I can't believe many comments I've seen saying she asked for it, it's depressing.

haven't watched it for years and thought it full of boring, vacuous publicity seeking twats so sounds unchanged.

I expect both of them will get air time from this, he in apologising and she in bearing her heart.

vile people.

lover
But that's what i'm finding so hard to understand. Yes she did push him too far. I can understand him being angry. That happens in most relationships over a lot of subjects. BUT most people don't react like he did. His reaction is NEVER acceptable. I think it is really sad that a lot of people don't seem to see it that way. To me it is black and white. It doesn't matter what the provocation and however bad that is, you do not react like that. You address it by communication or you get out of the relationship. It is really sad that people feel that this is anyway justifiesd or acceptable.

I agree shewhowines I do think BB should have called Hazel to the diary room sooner. She was in a very vulnerable situation, even before he had her by the throat he was verbally abusing her, I don't understand why they didn't intervene sooner. They waited until he got physical even though his behaviour was threatening before that.

he is clearly a narcissistic, abusive twat. He can use whatever excuses he likes about being a 'lightweight athlete' and how much alcohol he's consumed, but he already had form over the whole make up/looking natural thing and had had a huge rant about her not coming in from the garden when he wanted her do just before what happened in the bedroom, where he lied to her saying Big Brother had said the garden was out of bounds to them in order to get her to do what he wanted.

He's a disgusting excuse for a man, but sadly people seem to be supporting him and at least partially blaming Hazel.

I thought you were all talking about Tom Daley I'm glad I can still think he's a nice guy!

lol I thought Tom Daley too when I first saw the thread.😄😄

think its all contrived anyway.

I don think that was a typical DV situation, even though his behaviour was hideous she seemed to enjoy poking the bear so to speak until it went bad for her,

I don't class that as a woman who felt threatened or had been worn down controlled, she seemed like someone who'd gone looking for trouble and then found it.

^^
That's why men who do this think it's acceptable. Unless the woman is used to that kind of threat, they don't envision it until it happens. It's like a man saying "I know hitting a woman is wrong, but she was annoying me". Daley is a boxer, too, and Hazel knew that.

I don think that was a typical DV situation, even though his behaviour was hideous she seemed to enjoy poking the bear so to speak until it went bad for her,

I think it shows the many different ways that DV can materialise. There isn't a one size fits all.

Yes she seemed to be enjoying the play fighting but he turned the whole thing in seconds, was threatening, aggressive and physical to the point she actually said she was terrified. I don't believe she was lying either.

After seeing that clip there is absolutely no condoning of that whatsoever.
The fact that people are blaming her is beyond the pale quite frankly.

He is an aggressive, threatening man & if that's his behaviour on live tv then I feel very sorry for anyone in a relationship with him, any woman that would date him after viewing that needs their head examined.