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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

What do you do if your DC are ill and you work?

48 replies

Skintorama · 18/07/2013 07:51

Straw poll. Child normally goes to nursery then childminder.

Do you a) take the day off work

b) your DH takes the day off work

or c) shriek at your Childminder that she has to have your ill child because you or DH can't possibly take time off?

OP posts:

MrsLouisTheroux · 18/07/2013 08:13

Do you ever look after this child OP? Are they at nursery full time or half of the time with you?
Either way, it was not a day the child comes to you and you are busy. Also if the nursery won't take the child, why would you?
YANBU. I would write to the DP and let them know that you don't accept verbal abuse ( shrieking) and ask that they make alternative arrangements for their DC.

sleeplessbunny · 18/07/2013 08:14

Just read that you had the sick child for 2 days, OP. You don't have to do that, it puts you and the other kids at risk of catching whatever it is, with all the associated consequences. Perhaps you set a precedent and these (silly) parents now think you are their sick cover? I would write a clear sickness policy and send it home with each child.

MrsLouisTheroux · 18/07/2013 08:14

X post! Well done!

Jinsei · 18/07/2013 08:14

That's good. Maybe just tell them to fuck off then!

Best of luck with the interview!! :)

sleeplessbunny · 18/07/2013 08:15

ah. best of luck with the interview then!

cory · 18/07/2013 08:16

Well done! They have absolutely not right to expect that of you.

Original poster

Skintorama · 18/07/2013 08:22

I have her one whole day a week and then after nursery (preschool, so finishes at 3) for a couple of hours each day. I have her younger sister full time.

Slightly complicated, although it shouldn't make a difference, is that these are my sister's children. And it was my sister who shouted at me this morning.

She also told me I needed to phone our parents to see if they could have her instead. That was the point at which I thought, hang on, YOUR sick child is not my responsibility.

I am so fed up with all of this. I used to love Childminding, but I am sick to the back teeth of being treated like this. I am so ready to move on.

OP posts:

Harryhairypig · 18/07/2013 08:25

I wouldn't take her at all while she's ill if you have other kids as I would be very annoyed if my child caught a bug at childminders from a knowingly ill child. If the law better protected parents and people weren't so unreasonable about parents needing time off for ill children this would make life a lot easier for everyone.

Meglet · 18/07/2013 08:29

Jinsei + mrslouis People with caring responsibilities can take unpaid compassionate leave for sick children. It's on the direct gov website, but not very well known. I'm a LP so I don't have anyone to share annual leave with.

Original poster

Skintorama · 18/07/2013 08:29

Exactly.

There's no threat of them losing their jobs or anything, she is 'very busy and important' and he won't get paid.

Which isn't actually my problem.

OP posts:

Jinsei · 18/07/2013 08:29

You're absolutely right, OP. Your sister's kids are her responsibility, full stop.

Jaynebxl · 18/07/2013 08:34

Blimey, YANBU at all. What a Madame!

We take it in turns and usually my DH would try to actually work at home, depending on what was wrong with the child, or I get a limited number of Compassionate Leave days as a teacher, since we can't take holiday to cover it.

StealthPolarBear · 18/07/2013 08:34

YANBU OP, your sister sounds awful, the child is her and BIL's responsibility

Whoever can takes the time off which usually ends up being me as I have more flexibility, and this is annual leave.
Or if I can I work with sick child at home - boss is aware and at the end of the day I decide how much work I've done and eg say I need to put in a half day's leave as I figure I've only managed half a day's worth of work. Or if child sent home sick at lunch I'd do as much as I could then another hour or so when DH home.

Jinsei · 18/07/2013 08:41

Jinsei + mrslouis People with caring responsibilities can take unpaid compassionate leave for sick children. It's on the direct gov website, but not very well known. I'm a LP so I don't have anyone to share annual leave with.

In my organisation (and every other that I've worked for), compassionate leave is paid, and is granted at the discretion of your line manager, usually in exceptional circumstances such as bereavement, serious illness of a close family member etc. This is totally different from emergency leave to care for dependants, which is a legal entitlement but is unpaid.

StealthPolarBear · 18/07/2013 08:43

That's how I understand it too Jinsei.
I think compassionate leave now also extends to your daughter being in labour (might be local policy of course) :o

Jinsei · 18/07/2013 08:51

Yes, I have heard of this too!

We have totally separate procedures in place for compassionate leave and emergency dependants' leave. I suppose it's possible that some organisations roll them into one, especially if they don't offer paid leave for bereavements etc.

Meglet · 18/07/2013 08:56

jinsei ah, ok. I think direct gov uses a blanket term of compassionate leave, but yes, emergency leave would be the same. I'd still rather take a day of cleaning up sick as unpaid than using annual leave.

Jinsei · 18/07/2013 09:06

Fair enough . Some people can't afford to take unpaid leave though, and in my experience, many choose to take annual leave instead.

digerd · 18/07/2013 09:14

She shrieked at you because you are her sister and felt entitled to. Sounds as if she is the bossy , self-important one. Good you stood up to her. She is in the wrong and you are in the right.

KellyElly · 18/07/2013 09:56

Depends. My childminder is happy to have DD is she is poorly with a bad cold/virus. If she has a sickness bug or chicken pox or something like that then I would take the day off work.

DuelingFanjo · 18/07/2013 10:10

I take the day off.

MammaTJ · 18/07/2013 13:18

Your mistake was in having the child while poorly last week! This set up expectations! Ah we'll, not your problem!

gordyslovesheep · 18/07/2013 13:25

it's not compassionate leave it's DEPENDENTS leave and it covers children, partners and parents etc

We are given 3 days paid in 12 months not to be consecutive ...the rest is un paid or you loose your leave - I am a lone parent with 3 kids ...occasionally ex will have them but normally it falls to me

I would never expect our CM to have a sick child

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