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Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

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Original poster

Not to feel any sympathy towards this person?

31 replies

SameDifference · 18/07/2013 01:26

Guys I am a member of the Mumsnet Bloggers Network. I would like the 'mainstream view' on a recent post. Please read this and tell me whether I am being unreasonable.

samedifference1.com/2013/07/17/body-integrity-identity-disorder/

On a disability group I have been called judgemental and discriminatory but given my reasons for my opinion I feel I am entitled to a little judgement.

OP posts:

complexnumber · 18/07/2013 01:31

no way am I clicking on a random link. And I suggest others do likewise.

Onesleeptillwembley · 18/07/2013 01:39

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

KobayashiMaru · 18/07/2013 02:03

there is a thread about it in chat. You could join the few nasty people on there if you like.
She's mentally ill, ffs. I would have thought those in a disability group would have some compassion for someone suffering, albeit in a different way.

Lj8893 · 18/07/2013 02:08

I can understand your frustration, but she has a mental illness. So yes, people were right to call you discriminatory.

McGeeDiNozzo · 18/07/2013 04:11

I don't see how openly admitting you find it hard to feel sympathetic to a certain person, or hard to understand why they feel the way they do - and explaining the justification for that - is discriminatory. Particularly not when the justification is a very strong one, as is the case here.

Someone is now going to find an example where doing just that is clearly discriminatory, but I don't think this blog was that example.

My own opinion was that there was no point in doing the blog. You're not going to change the woman's circumstances, or her mind.

MadameDefarge · 18/07/2013 04:18

Its like someone who can't have kids saying they don't understand anyone who has abortion because they never would.

Its understandable, but not worthy of debate, as its just a feeling and can't stand up to any scrutiny or debate.

MrsLouisTheroux · 18/07/2013 06:55

She has obviously got mental health problems.
Why would you be unsympathetic?
sick and tired of 'if a disability isn't physical and you can't see it, it ain't there' brigade

ANormalOne · 18/07/2013 08:49

You are being unreasonable, do people with mental health issues not deserve sympathy? Or do you only deserve sympathy if you have a physical disability?

Original poster

SameDifference · 18/07/2013 09:25

"My own opinion was that there was no point in doing the blog. You're not going to change the woman's circumstances, or her mind."

I wasn't trying to. Only expressing an opinion.

"do people with mental health issues not deserve sympathy?"

Of course they do. But there are good reasons why I can't feel sympathy for this particular mental health issue. I have explained all these in the post.

OP posts:

newestbridearound · 18/07/2013 09:31

I can completely understand your frustration and anger towards her given the circumstances. Her sentiments are always going to provoke strong reactions given what it is she wants to happen to her. But as someone else who is disabled and occasionally has to use a wheelchair/can't leave the house etc I just feel terribly sorry for her- she has a recognised mental health issue and clearly needs some psychiatric help.

HatieKokpins · 18/07/2013 09:37

"Chloe Jennings and anyone else who thinks this way clearly has a mental disorder. But based purely on my own life experiences, it is very hard for me to feel sympathetic towards anyone who thinks in this way"

YABVU towards people with mental disorders. Hope that helps.

Skintorama · 18/07/2013 09:39

So basically you think your physical disability trumps her mental disorder?

Nice.

whois · 18/07/2013 09:48

Seems like you've got a chip on your shoulder OP. if tr woman wants so desperately to be in a wheelchair can you imagine the level of disordered thoughts and unhappy was she's going through? I'd take physical disability over mental health problems any day.

MNHQ

HelenMumsnet · 18/07/2013 10:23

Morning. Thanks for your reports about this thread.

Just to clarify one thing: we don't think SameDifference is spamming by linking to her blog.

For those who might not know already, we've recently changed our rules about bloggers linking to their blogs on Talk.

We do agree, though, that the OP could maybe have phrased her OP in a way that would have made it less likely for other folk to jump to the immediate conclusion that it's spam/self-promotional. We'll drop you a line, SameDifference, to explain what we mean in a bit more helpful detail.

RoseFlowerFairy · 18/07/2013 10:28

I think the Woman who wants to cut her spinal cord has her own cross to bear, she has a history of body issues, having undergone gender surgery in the past. I feel sad for her.

Onesleeptillwembley · 18/07/2013 10:29

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

MidniteScribbler · 18/07/2013 10:32

SameDifference - can you tell me honestly what effect this woman will have on your life personally? How will she impact you? If she said nothing publicly and just went and paid for the surgery, coming home telling people she had an accident on holidays, would you even know? Would it be detrimental to your life in way?

ANormalOne · 18/07/2013 10:34

I don't think it's a good reason at all, actually.

Original poster

SameDifference · 18/07/2013 13:54

Thanks Helen at MNHQ. I will keep that in mind and try to make my posts look less like spam in future.

MidniteScribbler- she wouldn't have had an effect on my life. I was simply expressing a personal opinion on her case and by placing it in a forum like this one, hoped that others would do the same.

To me, that is the point of blogging.

OP posts:

MidniteScribbler · 18/07/2013 14:04

Blogging does not mean that every thought that enters your head needs to be put online.

Any sensible person would stop and think "who could I hurt by writing this?".

gordyslovesheep · 18/07/2013 14:07

it's not disability top trumps - she is mentally ill - this is her disability - sure she doesn't give a shiny shite if you sympathise or not

OnIlkelyMoorBahtat · 18/07/2013 14:08

I was simply expressing a personal opinion on her case and by placing it in a forum like this one, hoped that others would do the same.

And they did. But you didn't like some of those opinions. Now you've started a thread about that. And people are expressing opinions about your thoughts that you don't seem to like.

Are you going to start a further thread about that?

justmyview · 18/07/2013 14:18

This sounds like a tragic story. I have sympathy for Chloe Jennings. Her ailment may be mental health rather than physical, but none the less serious for that

Turniptwirl · 18/07/2013 17:00

She has a mental illness but instead of trying to help her overcome it her doctors are going to paralyse her? Wtf?! It's like giving liposuction to an anorexic! Er, no, the job of medical professionals is to help not harm!

kali110 · 18/07/2013 17:27

I was angry when i read that story. I have mobility problems which means i need to take 3 different painkillers for the pain, plus 3 other pills to counteract the side effects from those, i would love nothing more than to wake up and not be in pain for one day. I also have had mental health problems since i was 17. I really hope she does not get this surgery. She needs her mental health problems sorted.

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