to be terrified after reading Birth after 35, and a few threads on here?

[lessonsintightropes]

DH really is just that, a complete darling, and we've finally agreed to TTC. I'm 35, he's 36 and we've been together for five years.

I'm terrified in a number of simultaneous ways - that we won't be able to conceive, which I think is pretty logical given my age and the fact I have drunk too much and smoked through my entire 20s and 30s and am quite fat that I could have taken better care of myself, DH too. I'm also terrified I'll be a crap mum, find going back to work after 6 months incredibly hard but financially inevitable, will leave my baby in a car to die of heatstroke (had nightmares after that thread) and to be honest after reading the book terrified that my chances of having a baby without a severe disability minimal.

Does everyone feel like this? Or is it normal for people who are TTC who've had too long to focus on the anxieties? I mean, we're going to anyway... but would love to know how others dealt with it. WWYD?

Oh and I boozed all through my 20's and 30's too, and only cut down marginally when ttc and accidentally got a bit tipsy-woo two days before getting my BFP

I'm 30 and just had my first so not quite in same position as you. I also smoked like a chimney though, and knocked back vodka and jaegarbombs like they were going out of fashion on nights out. Quit smoking, 2 months later we decided to start trying and got pregnant straight away.
Be relaxed about it, all that trying should be fun and not a chore! Personally I couldn't have had a baby any younger because I wasn't ready for it, but now I'm prepared for the next few years being dedicated to my daughter. I worry everyday about silly things like dropping her or banging her head but I've managed the first 9 weeks quite successfully so I think I'll be fine.
It's natural to worry but everyone does it so don't let that put you off. Life does change but it's for the better. I've only had my dd for such a short time but I couldn't imagine life without her.

I had our DD at 39 nearly 40 with no problems. I had a very straight forward pregnancy. I had a ELCS, as she was breech, but recovered quickly and well. I actually fell pregnant seven times (including DD) at or after the age of 35 the first six ended in miscarriage, but NOT related to my age.

Go for it! I wish you the best of luck.

I had 1st at 40, 2nd at 42 and 3rd at 45, there or there abouts. No probs ttc. Last one was a C section delivery due to age related placenta privia. Had a good time in twenties and thirties. My advise? Stop reading "stuff". No one tells you how much fun it is. Dcs are a lot of fun.