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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want DH to use a car seat for DD?

31 replies

SenoritaViva · 17/07/2013 18:30

DH was annoyed because I'd been grumpy.

He was taking dd somewhere and I said she couldn't sit in the front of his car due to his air bags. He said they were switched off, so fair enough but I then said she needed her car seat. He drove off pissed off with me saying 'you're unnecessarily putting her life at risk' which he replied no I'm not.

Was I over reacting? Agreed I was grumpy but I think he's compromising our daughter's safety (she's 6).

To be fair they're only driving 3 miles but they cross a very busy road...

(The car seat was in my car and is just a bumper so would've taken 1 min or less to get)

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 17/07/2013 18:31

Did you really need to ask?

Your DH is being an idiot.

frogwatcher42 · 17/07/2013 18:33

But then surely it depends how big or heavy she is at 6. I do know of some 6 year olds not in car seats. In fact my 7 year old has come out of one in one of our cars as the seat belt and head rest are in the right place and apparently (mothercare!) she is heavy enough. In our larger car though she has a booster as the seat belt is too high otherwise and around her neck.

She is not a particularly large child.

kim147 · 17/07/2013 18:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
SenoritaViva · 17/07/2013 18:35

Dd is average height and pretty skinny. DH has quite a big car and so seat belt around neck

OP posts:
frogwatcher42 · 17/07/2013 18:36

Dd is average height and pretty skinny. DH has quite a big car and so seat belt around neck

In that case you are not being unreasonable. Its obviously necessary for him to use one.

kim147 · 17/07/2013 18:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Justforlaughs · 17/07/2013 18:37

If she is under 135cm then YANBU. In fact, even if she is OVER 135cm, yanbu.

Original poster
SenoritaViva · 17/07/2013 18:37

Definitely under 135, I'd say 112-116

OP posts:
StuntGirl · 17/07/2013 18:49

Isn't there a law about it?

Bunbaker · 17/07/2013 18:51

Is your husband not aware of the current laws regarding booster seats - here?

kim147 · 17/07/2013 18:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Justforlaughs · 17/07/2013 18:55

If your DD is under 135cm then your DH is a tit and is breaking the law. End of debate.

Original poster
SenoritaViva · 17/07/2013 19:21

For me it's not really the law breaking its the safety. Surely the law was put in place to keep children safer?

OP posts:
YoniBottsBumgina · 17/07/2013 21:34

True, but if he thinks it's safe and you don't, that's subejctive. A law isn't subjective, you can't argue against a law.

ClaraOswald · 17/07/2013 21:45

Your DH is being a twit.

ilovepowerhoop · 17/07/2013 21:49

they have to be either taller than 135cm or 12 years old to not need some sort of car seat so he is being an arse

Hulababy · 17/07/2013 21:51

Nothing to do with weight. Law is to do with height and age.

I doubt very many 6 year olds are above the height of 135cm.

Beamur · 17/07/2013 21:54

Your DH is a prize twat and putting his child unnecessarily at risk.
Seat belt at neck high is a major no no.

MissStrawberry · 17/07/2013 21:56

3 miles, 30 miles, 30 miles, irrelevant.

It is the law but also why doesn't he want to do all he can to make sure she is the safest she can be?

He is a twat.

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/07/2013 21:56

I am of the opinion that a lot of car seat information and law for children is hysterical and not scientifically valid. Crap link. However, it is the law and I abide by it.

MissStrawberry · 17/07/2013 21:57

See, so cross I missed off a 0.

pointythings · 17/07/2013 22:03

Car seats save lives. The law is there for a reason. My DDs were over 135 cm by age 8 but stayed in boosters beyond that until the seat belt sat properly on them - i.e. not across their throat.

DD2 (age 10) is 149 cm and still likes her booster because being that bit higher up helps with car sickness. DD1 (12) has only been out of her booster for about a year (for the same reason, but she's now 163 cm and would be stuck against the ceiling in a booster).

YoniBottsBumgina · 18/07/2013 20:01

The superfreakonomics thing is a bit suspect I think. I haven't read the book but understand that they tested 3 point belts and car seats with crash test dummies. Well, firstly, children aren't dummies and tend to move around in a car, fighting with siblings, picking up dropped toys, falling asleep. A car seat appropriate to their age helps to restrain them from moving too much and rendering the seatbelt useless.

Also, I wonder if it was tested with 3 point belts as installed in a standard car, or fitted to the dummy. I don't know a single 3 year old who could sit on a standard car seat where the 3 point adult belt fit them properly - the diagonal would be situated near the head or neck, if not over them. Again, an age appropriate car seat either has built in belts which fit the child or guide the adult seat so that it is safe and comfortable for them.

MrsTerryPratchett · 19/07/2013 10:45

I agree that the Superfreakonomics thing needs more testing. Which will never happen because the crash test facilities rely on the car seat and car tests to make money. They therefore have an incentive to find the result that keeps their cash cow in cash.

I'm not saying that car seats don't save lives. Rear facing seats save lives and younger children definitely need different restraints to adults. However, I don't think the current system approaches validity and I am very dubious about the age and weight seeming to go up and up. Do booster seats really save lives? At 11 yo and 134 cm tall? I'm very dubious.

lljkk · 19/07/2013 11:23

I wouldn't care about a one-off but it's a very bad habit to get into, iyswim.