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AIBU?

To have mentioned this to nursery

107 replies

Weissbier · 17/07/2013 12:37

Nursery have a work experience guy who came up to me at the summer party to say how sweet he thought DD was. In these words: "I wanted to find her parents today to inform them I'm taking her home with me!"

I mentioned it to the nursery manager - said I was sure it was nothing to worry about but both DH and I had felt uncomfortable, and could she confirm work exp. people were not left alone with the children? (My point being, such remarks reveal they are not professionals and they should only be working with the children according to their experience and training).

She confirmed they weren't alone with the children, so that was fine, but I also had to listen to a quarter of an hour about how I needed to think less because the guy was a nice person...which I'm sure he is...

OP posts:

Report

freddiefrog · 17/07/2013 12:56

My DD1's pre-school teacher used to say he wanted to take DD home and put her on his mantelpiece

He liked her, and she adored him. He was just being nice

Weissbier · 17/07/2013 12:56

It wasn't in English. The native speakers I asked, other than the nursesry manager, thought it was over the line. But I agree we must have overreacted, I will apologise

OP posts:

Flobbadobs · 17/07/2013 12:57

Well they should be doing the crb, ofsted will maul them otherwise! It could be children like yours who persuade a potentially excellent NN to change his career path you know, if he's volunteering and being allowed to stay he's obviously good.

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 17/07/2013 12:58

I would be complaining that he is not CRB checked. They check scout leaders who volunteer, why not CRB check someone in a nursery?
All student nurses are CRB checked too, so I would see that as a similar comparison as they are checked to cover them for placements.

HeySoulSister · 17/07/2013 12:58

Aww is he young? No hope for my ds.... He's 15 and adores little kids, I feel sorry that he can't interact with them without this kind of thing happening

Buzzardbird · 17/07/2013 13:00

How do you know he isn't crb checked? And yes Yabu as I'm sure you have worked out by now. Poor guy was probably really upset when they told him :( will you apologize?

MummytoMog · 17/07/2013 13:00

YABU. Although I'm a bit about the lack of CRB.

Weissbier · 17/07/2013 13:01

Of course I'll apologize :(. Profusely

OP posts:

themonsteratemyspacebar · 17/07/2013 13:01

I agree with everyone else, YABU.
All this guy was saying is that he enjoys teaching your daughter and thinks she is adorable. I really don't see a problem with that. He likes her personality and they get on well. Everybody in whatever caring or interactive environment has a soft spot for some people who they just 'click' with.
And the fact that it isnt his final career choice and he volunteers to come in unpaid to help out because he enjoys it, is a problem is it?

Abra1d · 17/07/2013 13:02

I suspect OP is in a different country?

Flobbadobs · 17/07/2013 13:02

Anyway, you're lucky, no one has offered to take my DC's for years....

MissStrawberry · 17/07/2013 13:02

I think it is a bit much that the posters who think the OP was being out of order are also being a tad rude to her.

She heard something she found made her feel uncomfortable so acted on it. Good for her. I wish I had had the courage to do it when I was in a situation where a HCP was acting totally inappropriately. Thought obviously the OP situation is not the same. Just the feeling uncomfortable but is similar.

HeySoulSister · 17/07/2013 13:04

flob me either!! Lose their appeal once they hit puberty!

PrincessScrumpy · 17/07/2013 13:04

Not sure true kidnappers would come and announce their intentions. He was complimenting you and you're ds and made an effort to find you because your dc is lovely. Yabu

Footface · 17/07/2013 13:05

I think it's great to have men working in nurseries!

Really I think you should be honest with yourself because at least then you can try to work though your prejudice.

perplexedpirate · 17/07/2013 13:05

Can't believe you complained to the nursery! What an overreaction.
That poor guy, he'll be feeling terrible now. Well done OP, hope you're proud of yourself.

TalkativeJim · 17/07/2013 13:08

He isnt CRB checked? I find that REALLY hard to believe - I can't believe that they would be allowed to let someone through the door without it... and especially not to stay on! Are you sure?

Oh and you're being a bit ridiculous, by the way.

Weissbier · 17/07/2013 13:12

I didn't complain about him. I made it very clear I didn't want any complaint. He hadn't done anything! Yes, we are in a different country. I said the remark had made me hesitate a bit and I wanted just to clarify how the work exp people work with the kids (supervised, or not). I know they aren't crb checked because this is a set-up where the parents are the management. But I will apologise.

I was happy about him being there as I do, honestly, approve of men in nurseries. The only relevance for me his gender had was that the remark seemed a notch odder. That was all. My point was about how work exp people are checked and supervised

OP posts:

CabbageLooking · 17/07/2013 13:13

Nice to see the OP is going to apologise. I agree you were over the top although I would be concerned that someone non-CRB checked is in the nursery. Ultimately though, this sounds like a nice chap who wanted to say something lovely about your child.

Maryann1975 · 17/07/2013 13:13

Everyone who has ever looked after my ds at nursery or school has said they wanted to take him home. I reply back that he wakes at 5.30 and they soon change their mind. I take it as a compliment as they obviously think he is a lovely smiley little boy. No one would want to take one of the naughty ones home would they?
I wish there were more men working in Childcare. My husband and brother would both be perfect for the job, but unfortunately social norms have stopped my brother (he doesnt see is as masucline enough) and the lack of pay means as a family we couldn't afford for DH to do it. Which is a shame.
Yabu

obviouslyneedsupernanny · 17/07/2013 13:14

Fgs can people not say anything anymore without being seen as a weirdo?

Unexpected · 17/07/2013 13:15

I think it's quite confusing to mention CRB checks when you live abroad where presumably this doesn't exist. A lot of people have missed this point and so are doubting what you are saying. Is there a similar system in your country OP? If so, is it normal that it should extend to work experience students? If not, then I do';t think you can complain that a procedure which is not standard hasn't been followed.

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Floggingmolly · 17/07/2013 13:21

such remarks reveal they are not professionals?
Shame they've phased out the workhouses; wouldn't find any good natured jollity there...

ShadeofViolet · 17/07/2013 13:26

I would take him any day over the girl we recently had in our playgroup. She was sullen and sour and spent the whole time with her arms folded looking like she would rather be anywhere else. DD saw he in the street and she just blanked her.

I dont know if there is a lower age limit for CRB's?

kali110 · 17/07/2013 13:31

Sorry i think yabu. Hope this guy doesn't get in trouble or is hurt by the comments. He may have planned to be an electrician but was being swayed into working with kids. Bet he will go back to being an electrician after this :-(

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