AIBU csa claim.

[gingermop]

first aibu so b gentle, lol.
I hav 4 children with my ex partner, we where together over 14 years, seperated may2010, was a rough time, spent a while with kids in a refuge and there dad didnt c them for almost a year.
this whole time I didnt ask for a penny.
when we split he had about 15 grand of debt with he pays through iva. thats all in his name, he left me with 4 grand rent arrears, 1.5 grand council tax and 3 grand credit card.
last summer he started seeing kids again, contact is going well, quite a few times iv asked for monetry help but he says no. wont even help out with shoes/ uniforms.
im fed up with being taken for a mug and put a claim into csa.
I know how much he earns and am aware he is left with little after rent/bills paid out.
he rents a house is good expensive area, rent is very high, hes living beyond his means.
im now getting abuse of him and his family.
saying hes in debt because of me , knowone seem to want to listen to me wen I say about debt he left me in.
appatently he will hav to give up his house and wont b able to afford to pay bills because off the csa he will hav to pay.
im being made to feel im being totally out of order, ever my father thinks so.
please giv me ur opinions, my heads all over the place and now im feeling so
guilty about doing this.
tia x

He has to pay for his kids end of! And if he is in an IVA child maintenance will be seen as a legitimate expense & his debt repayments reduced. Does your Dad not care that his grandkids don't have financial support from their Dad?

Hi,
They are his dc too, so IMO he should financially be providing for them. If he has to move well tough your children come first.
Good luck and well done for doing the best you can for your dc, I know it's not easy I have 5 dc.

Oops sorry urnbu.

He had 4 children, did he expect them to be free

Maybe you should start living the high life an just not bother to feed or clothe the children - would your father think that would be ok?

It is not unreasonable to expect a father to support his own children...practically, emotionally and financially.

Of course YANBU.

The children share 50% of his DNA unfortunately by the sounds of it he should pay for 50% of what it costs to house, feed and clothe them. End of discussion.

Is sounds very manipulative, as does his family, I think the best thing you can do is have as little contact with them as possible.
And your dad is being extremely unsupportive, tell him if he doesn't have anything helpful to say he should not speak to you.

You sound like you are doing a great job.
I would be filing a small claims case agains your ex for half of all of the debts he left you with too.

thanks ladies, was really doubting myself earlier.
need to hav a long chat with me father me thinks.
thing is work bloody hard and long hours to provide for my kids, and at the end of it only just cover nessesities, cant remember the last time I treated them, the money from csa would b handy.
ty again for ur replies x