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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DD not happy about her new teacher next year - :(

26 replies

LEMisdisappointed · 16/07/2013 18:27

Her current teacher is moving up to year four, so she had (as had i, although not mentioned to DD) assumed she was going to be in her class next year. My DD is so gutted bless her heart and i don't know how to make it better for her. She sobbed for the best part of an hour, i have dispatched her to her nans to cheer her up. Poor thing.

My DD struggles, is dyslexic and this teacher has really helped her, i am quite surprised that she hasn't moved up with her actually. Other children in her class have.

I don't think i am going to mention it to the school as i guess they have their reasons but i am disappointed. I haven't met her new teacher although people have told me he is nice. She has had male teacher before and really liked him although this guy is very different.

Someone please give me a kick up the bum and chear me up :( :(

OP posts:
SarahAndFuck · 16/07/2013 18:31

Can you and your DD meet with him before the end of term? That might make you both feel better.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 16/07/2013 18:32

I am sure it will be fine. Just keep being really positive to her about it. Help her to adjust.

It is good to not be dependant on one person, better for her in the long term that she moves away from this teacher, the longer she is with her, the worse it will be when she eventually has to let her go.

I learned this with my kids 1:1!

It's going to be tough for her, of course, and you'll need to make sure the new teacher knows this, but working together you can all make this as ok for her as possible.

BarbarianMum · 16/07/2013 18:34

It will be fine.

She will be fine.

She's not getting a teacher she doesn't like, she's getting a new teacher.

It will be good for her to come to realise that there is more than one teacher that 'gets' her and can help her progress.

It will be good for her when she realises that this was a difficult thing but she coped and she will cope with other things that feel difficult in the future.

It will be fine. Really. Smile

ApocalypseThen · 16/07/2013 18:34

Oh this is nonsense. All little girls do this. Take no notice and let her get on with it. There's no need to protect her from everything to this extent. Let her get over it without endorsing her right now.

Vivacia · 16/07/2013 18:34

Model to your daughter about how you deal with change. Acknowledge that it can be difficult, but can also lead to good stuff. Every summer children think they can't possibly get on with that new, strange teacher, until the next summer when they are then the old, familiar teacher.

Original poster
LEMisdisappointed · 16/07/2013 18:42

We are meeting him on thursday, and they will spend time together as a class. If her teacher wasn't moving up a year it woudlnt have been an issue, although i have already had tears several times this term about her not wanting to leave this teachers class. She does develop very strong bonds to people and i agree with Hecsy that this is probably for the best.

OP posts:
Original poster
LEMisdisappointed · 16/07/2013 18:50

I don't come from the "stuff and nonesense" school of parenting though, apocalypse.

I have been positive and am sure she will be fine, and sobbing about leaving her new teacher next year (just as she has this year and every year before Blush) . Barbarian that is a good point - DD really struggles with confidence although has done better this year, due to this teacher. I am upset as she is that she is moving on, but im sure the new teacher will be just lovely and he is eye candy material which will make volunteering to help in class more interesting

OP posts:
Hulababy · 16/07/2013 18:52

It would be unusual for a class to keep the same teacher for more than a year, even when the teacher is also moving up years, ime. Better to have a change for everyone's benefit on the whole.

Original poster
LEMisdisappointed · 16/07/2013 18:59

you are probably right hula, although some children are staying with her as they mix the two year groups up each year. I tried to console DD that she would be with her friends but that didn't work!

Ah well, of to Maccy Ds to bribe her to cheer the fuck up

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 16/07/2013 19:11

I think that given your DD is dyslexic and her current teacher has a real understanding of her needs, you have a good case for asking whether she could stay with the same teacher. It's worth asking (but I wouldn't tell your daughter you've asked, just in case.)

ClangerOnaComeDown · 16/07/2013 19:16

I remember this many moons ago when I moved into year four. God I stressed myself senseless towards the end of term. I forgot about it in the holidays, but come September the fear was back. And you know what? He was an amazing teacher. I still remember him fondly now. (Also suffer from several learning difficulties, back then undiagnosed)

She will be fine. I'm sure.

Vivacia · 17/07/2013 06:51

I am sure he is also an educated, qualified professional. He might also be kind, generous, witty etc you know? Along with his vital role in life of being your "eye candy".

Original poster
LEMisdisappointed · 17/07/2013 08:16

That may well be vivacia but we must have our priorities in place along with the ability to recognise jokes.

OP posts:
Xihha · 17/07/2013 09:15

Could the reason the school haven't put her in the same teachers class be that they know your daughter has formed a strong attachment and don't want it to be even harder for her next year when there's another years worth of attachment forming?

Hopefully this new teacher will be brilliant and on thursday your daughter will decide she likes him and that its all exciting. If not then as imperialblether said it might be worth asking if she can stay with her teacher.

Original poster
LEMisdisappointed · 17/07/2013 09:53

That is what I am hoping too and I agree with you over the attachment thing. Lots of upset children today her teacher said she feels terrible dd seems resigned to it today I don't think I will ask for it to be changed but would like to know the reasons maybe he is better with sen?

OP posts:
mummytime · 17/07/2013 10:09

Transitions can be very hard for dyslexic children.

My DD finds out "officially" her new teacher today. Unfortunately they failed to take into account that she needs help with transitions, so didn't give her advance notice. Also her friend told her who her teacher is (her friend did get advance notice, and is right from what slipped out in conversation).

Both DD and I would have preferred a different teacher. I have tried to be positive about it, but to be honest I'd actually rather take her out and HE her for a year before senior school anyway.

Vivacia · 17/07/2013 10:35

(I don't want to derail your thread, but one thing that's as bad as objectifying other people sexually is to write it off as banter, a joke, not being prissy etc. Like I say, I don't want to distract this thread from helpful responses, but I'm trying to speak up against sexism as often as I feel brave enough because otherwise it continues unchallenged).

Original poster
LEMisdisappointed · 17/07/2013 10:51

You wouldn't want to be at the school gates in the morning when they do wake up and shake up lots of salivating mummies makes our day so it does!

But yes must be sensible grown up mummy person

OP posts:
gleegeek · 17/07/2013 11:00

Hope today goes well OP and helps your dd to relax about it for the summer holiday. I almost wish the last couple of weks were with the new teacher so they don't have the long summer to worry about it all over again!

My dd found out this week she has the teacher she didn't want (out of 3 teachers) and that she is the only girl in the new class from her old classShock I had a lot of bigging up of the opportunity for making new friends(again!) to do...

Vivacia · 17/07/2013 11:08

Objectifying others for your own sexual gratification or being a "sensible mummy person" are not the only two options available!

Original poster
LEMisdisappointed · 17/07/2013 11:13

No but I quite enjoy doing both sigh I can't remember the last time I was sexually objectified ah well

OP posts:
DeWe · 17/07/2013 12:34

I would assume if her teacher was moving up to the next year that she wouldn't have her.
Just because your dd got on well, there may have been some for whom she didn't gel with. Or others who were okay, but not brilliant with. I generally think it's better to have a change even if the teacher's great.

The only times I've known a teacher carry on a form was a very specific situation where a child had been orphanned that summer in an accident and the school decided that it was worth giving this child the continuity.

Original poster
LEMisdisappointed · 17/07/2013 12:37

I agree dewe but she took some and not others I know its daft but im actually quite hurt

OP posts:
Xihha · 17/07/2013 12:44

Hopefully you're right and the reason is something like him being better with SEN, i can't see the school upsetting her by giving her a new teacher just for the fun of it.

I think my daughter needs a male teacher for me to drool over so she has a balance of teachers, but I've just looked and the only man at her new school is the PE teacher. sigh

LauraSmurf · 17/07/2013 12:50

I am in exactly this position next year although I am the teacher in this scenario.

The reason I am only keeping some of my class is because of a whole KS2 reshuffle. Certain children have been moved for very specific reasons, others just by chance.

When the class teachers were announced 2 parents wanted to keep their children in my class. 1 was moved for a specific reason and was told no. The other was random and since the parent and child both felt strongly and articulated their reasons clearly, that child is now staying with me.

In short I would pop in and ask if there was a specific reason. It's worth it of you both feel strongly about it. The worst they can say is no!