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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be really upset

40 replies

stupidperson2 · 16/07/2013 15:59

I booked a holiday, first one for over ten years.

I just cancelled it as I couldn't cope and everything I needed to do was just overwhelming me and upsetting me.

it was the right thing to do I think but I just feel upset and like i'll never get to go away - ever!

OP posts:
stayathomegardener · 16/07/2013 16:21

OK I usually holiday in the UK with DD abandoning DH.

But if it was just me how about a guided tour,cruise or an activity?
My choice would be Italy,Capri,Pompeii etc. Priced at about £800 in the Telegraph travel magazine,They meet you at the airport,drive you to the hotel and excursions but one has the option to do your own thing. Perfect.

stupidperson2 · 16/07/2013 16:24

oh I definitely couldn't do the Eurostar or paris at all really; that was one of the reasons I decided to drive. Thanks, though.

The cottage sounds lovely but I would just feel a bit stupid alone - especially as most things are priced for couples or for families. it's hard having a holiday alone - not sure you really can - people think you can 'travel' alone but not just have a break.

thanks for being nice :)

OP posts:
stayathomegardener · 16/07/2013 16:24

And please don't wait for a family to do this,do it for you.

stayathomegardener · 16/07/2013 16:27

OP how old are you and what do you like doing?

And please consider a name change I simply refuse to refer to you as stupid Sad

stupidperson2 · 16/07/2013 16:29

that's really sweet thanks. I am 33. I don't have any real hobbies, work takes up most of my time. I sometimes like to read.

OP posts:
ElsieOops · 16/07/2013 16:34

agree you do need a name change!

Would you be more into countryside or city stuff? I agree with the others that to book a few days away with walks or things to visit would be a good start.

EldritchCleavage · 16/07/2013 16:39

What about something organised, so you stay in a holiday village, have activities etc?

Look at Skyros, or cooking in France, or painting, adventure. There a re loads of these.

I met my DH on a holiday like this. And single friends have done them and made good friends. Everything is done for you, which makes it a lot easier. Having an activity means you feel less self-conscious about traveling alone, too. I went to a dude ranch in Texas once, did horse riding. The friendliness and relaxed atmosphere was great.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 16/07/2013 16:40

There are companies that organise activity holidays so you would be part of a group
e.g.
www.explore.co.uk/activities-experiences

www.exodus.co.uk/activities-experiences

That way you aren't travelling around on your own and the logistics are taken care of.

BigGreenFrog · 16/07/2013 16:41

First time I've ever posted in AIBU!!
OP please take a look at:

www.cumbrian-cottages.co.uk/

There are loads of one bedroomed cottages which would be ideal. Many of them very reasonably priceed.

You could do loads of walking, or if you preferred, stay in Keswick/Ambleside/Bowness and be closer to the shops and cafe's. You wont regret it!

stayathomegardener · 16/07/2013 16:48

Skyros looks amazing cleavage!

Can't believe I just googled can one rent a dog? It would seem easier just to borrow one quite frankly.Perfect company in a lake land cottage though.

nobeer · 16/07/2013 16:53

I don't know if you're on facebook OP, but have a look at airbnb.com. The idea is you pay to stay in someone's house or flat, so it's an economical way of staying somewhere. It's a classier way of couchsurfing! You could give it a try in a city in the UK you'd like to visit. It might help build your confidence in travelling before you decide to go further a field alone. Another option is staying in a youth hostel, there are often solo travellers in hostels too.

Another idea is going abroad to learn a language, another great way of meeting solo travellers in the same boat as you.

EldritchCleavage · 16/07/2013 17:01

Honestly, when I did the holiday where I met DH I was a long-term singleton (no hobbies, avid reader), overworked, not long out of a psych ward and very very nervous about it. But it was brilliant (and not just because of meeting DH, though mainly that, obvs).

EBearhug · 16/07/2013 17:52

just for me, so I am quite limited in what I can do. But in other ways, you've got a lot more options.

I've done quite a few city breaks on my own - train to airport, cheap flight, cheap single room - and then just do my own thing. I've also done various long weekends round Britain, and I'll be going up to Liverpool later in the summer over a couple of days, mainly to see the Chagall exhibition at the Tate, but I'll fit in other things round it. I've booked a yoga holiday later this year, which is something I've never done, and I am mildly terrified by it, but less terrified than the thought of driving myself for long distances would make me (I can drive okay, but I wouldn't count long distances of it as any sort of holiday, as I don't particularly enjoy driving.) About 12 years ago, I crossed half Africa on a truck with a load of strangers. I've had friends who have done things like cycling holidays, where they take your luggage, and there are other activity holidays you can do, which are geared up for single people.

Travelling alone can get wearing (just stuff like having to take /all/ your bags with you to pop to the loo or something), and there are some things I won't do because I'm on my own. OTOH, there are probably some things I've done because I don't have to consider anyone else when making decisions. And I know that if I don't make myself go away from time to time, I'd be even more depressed, because I'd just be at home all the time, on my own, all the time. If I hadn't done all the things I've done on my own simply because I was single, I'd have hardly ever gone anywhere or seen anything or done anything. It really can be worth the effort, and there will be something out there, either in Britain or further afield, which will suit you. (And it doesn't have to involve driving unless you want it to.) I know it's hard, but sometimes, making yourself do it really is worth it.

maddening · 16/07/2013 18:08

Try a walking holiday in the uk - you'll meet new people and everything is looked after for you

HardlyMotherTheresa · 17/07/2013 18:27

I second changing your name. And book a holiday where there are other singles - maybe a guided tour type thing or, say, a rambling weekend, or a yoga retreat. Keep it simple and go where there will be other single people and something to do. Lots of people are single, you know, and they often meet on holiday :-)

So: stay in UK, maybe even close to home, find a theme that you fancy (? cooking/ walking/ painting/ yoga/ reading/ religious retreat/ bridge/ paintballing), google it and book it! Marlborough Summer School is the kind of thing I am thinking of - you pick a different tutored activity morning and afternoon and there are entertainments in the evening. You meet loads of people. I am sure there are lots of special interest holidays out there. You can do it!!! You will be so proud of yourself if you do.

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