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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to send this voucher back ( as a present)

30 replies

poshfrock · 16/07/2013 13:05

So it was DS's 15th birthday last week. He wanted money to save up for a specific item so anyone who asked what he wanted was told this and he got about £200 in total so was very pleased. But DSIL sent him an Itunes voucher worth £10. He doesn't own an Ipod/Ipad/Ianything and has no interest in music. We had a look at the website and it seems you can buy games with it but you need an Apple device to download them to. He has a phone but it's not an Iphone. It seems strange to me that you would send a present without checking first that the person can use it, although she has form for this - she sent DD one of those wheatbags that you heat in the microwave for birthday, we don't own a microwave. So as it's her DD's birthday next month ( also 15) WIBU to just send her the voucher instead of the £10 cheque I would have sent and give my son the £10 instead ? Her DD does have an Ipod.
And how do I get same SIL to stop buying presents that kids already have - for last 2 years she has sent DD books for Xmas, but they are books which she already owns ( eg complete sets of Enid Blyton) ? I don't want her to waste her money. Books just got sent to charity. A book token would have been lovely. I always call her and ask her what her kids would like for Xmas as I don't know them very well and in the absence of any concrete info my default present is always a cheque ( they are 13 and 15).

OP posts:
EvieanneVolvic · 16/07/2013 13:08

I would send it back to one of her family, as you suggest. To be honest it sounds pretty much like it won't be the first time it's been recycled anyway!

aldiwhore · 16/07/2013 13:09

I would keep smiling and saying thank you.

My sons' know that if they get a gift they don't want, can't use or already have they have permission to sell them on Ebay and buy what they want with the proceeds, even if what they make is less than the money spent by whoever gave the gift.

They are also not shy about saying "Thank you for the gift, I already hadn't one/couldn't use it, but I swapped it for x, y, z and I'm really chuffed"

If anyone's ever taken offense to this, they've never said. I wouldn't be offended.

I guess it depends how reasonable your family is in general terms!

BikeRunSki · 16/07/2013 13:14

Amazon wish list? I rarely see my sister ad she lives overseas. Her DC are much older than mine too, so we put ideas on Amazon wishlist. Saves getting doubles of books.

Geordieminx · 16/07/2013 13:15

I thought you could only get £15 or £25 iTunes vouchers Hmm

Eilidhbelle · 16/07/2013 13:56

Does it really matter if the presents are being doubled up? Can you not just say thank you, and swap them without making a big deal out of it? And I wouldn't dent the voucher to her son, I'd just give him the money. It's rude to recycle gifts to the person you got them from.

MelanieCheeks · 16/07/2013 13:58

By all means recycle the gift...but to someone else.

NannyPlumIsMyMum · 16/07/2013 14:01

Don't send it back - just recycle it.

If you don't like the presents you get as a family then perhaps re think what you give them to , IMHO sending it back would reflect more on you as a person as it does her ....

Bosgrove · 16/07/2013 14:01

I have done a deal with my sister, I buy for my children and put her name on the gift (or the card the she sends) and she buys for hers and puts mine on it. It means that our children get something that they want and we save on postage. It was getting to the stage that we were just giving cash and it was the same money going back and forward.

NannyPlumIsMyMum · 16/07/2013 14:02

A gift is exactly that - a gift - not an entitlement.

maddy68 · 16/07/2013 14:06

To be honset she probably thought it was a great gift - all generally most kids use i tunes cant believe anyone doesnt have a microwave either
I would use it as a gift to another teenager me notthing wrong with that I dont think

bemybebe · 16/07/2013 14:06

This is what I immediately thought Geordie ;)

HairyPotter · 16/07/2013 14:08

Geordie I thought that as well until my dds both got a £10 one each. I have no idea where you but them but would love to know.

Posh yes, I would recycle it but not to the same person.

HairyPotter · 16/07/2013 14:09

Buy! Buy! Not but.

Iseeall · 16/07/2013 14:09

I think its worth telling sil that no one in your household has apple products so therefore ITunes vouchers are a waste of her money. I know they are a 'go to' gift for many teens but here it is money wasted.

Pass it on, or back to her because if you say nothing she may think she has cracked it as far as gift giving to your dc.

Jenny70 · 16/07/2013 14:10

Maybe it's a fake itunes, knowing they can' t use it ! :)

FerrisBueller1972 · 16/07/2013 14:10

You can buy iTunes vouchers in a pack of 3 x £10

FerrisBueller1972 · 16/07/2013 14:11

Meant to add that you can get then in tesco

maddy68 · 16/07/2013 14:12

you dont need apple products to use I tunes....

Tryharder · 16/07/2013 14:26

It would be the height of rudeness not to say passive-aggressive to give her daughter the voucher.

Regift to someone else or sell on.

chocoluvva · 16/07/2013 14:31

I'd pass it on to someone who can use it too and pay my DS for it.

Suelford · 16/07/2013 14:34

Perhaps she thought it was a music voucher, not an app one. My mother wouldn't know the difference. And a music voucher's a pretty good present.

JedwardScissorhands · 16/07/2013 14:34

Basically you want to ensure your son gets the cash he wanted. It's great he collected £200, but very grabby of you to be so put out about an unsuitable voucher. Most teens would like it, you don't need an apple device, andit isn't a weird gift you should check first. Just regift to someone else or donate to the next school raffle.

If you reimburse your son, you are giving him the message that he is entitled to cash gifts and doesn't need to be polite. Maybe when he gets married you could help him own a grabby poem??

brilliantwhite · 16/07/2013 14:41

id do the same as chocoluvva

Keepthechangeyoufilthyanimal · 16/07/2013 15:04

i would recycle the itunes card - but not back to her DD, I think that is a bit rude tbh

primallass · 16/07/2013 15:19

You can use iTunes through a PC.