My stepson is 23. He has got into financial difficulties on several occasions in the past, he has borrowed large sums of money from both DH and me, and from his mum and stepdad, and not paid it back.
He left the area where his mum lives having defaulted on his rent and bills, and as she had acted as guarantor, she was liable. He then moved in with us and borrowed £1800 to buy a car, didn't make any payments back and ended up moving away again leaving us with the car. We intended to sell it to recoup the money but there were a range of problems with it which needed to be resolved before we could sell it, it's cost over £800 already and it's not worth anything like what he paid.
He contacted DH yesterday to say that he reduced his hours at work on the promise of another role which now won't start for six months. He needs to pay the deposit on his flat and rent, and asked to borrow £800. His dad said no, and that he should sell the car he told us he just got - he can't do is as it's a lease arrangement. His mum has already said no to the loan, if we don't lend him the money he will not be able to stay in the flat, leaving the friend he made the sharing arrangement with in the lurch, and will probably move back in with another friend's parents, which is where he was until recently.
AIBU to think we should carry on saying no? We have enough money saved to be able to make the loan, but only because we saved madly before I went on maternity leave as I have no income during this time - it's our emergency fund. DStepson is irresponsible and impulsive and has taken a lot of daft decisions, but my parents helped me out as an adult (though I paid back every penny and ahead of schedule). Do we bail him out again and give him a chance to show he can be reliable this time, or let him experience consequences? WWYD?