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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have a second baby and continue working

24 replies

HarryTheHungryHippo · 16/07/2013 07:44

I wanting to start trying for my second child near the end of the year. I work in a very laid back carer job and my boss is wonderful. I only work every other week, 6 hours a day
My plan would be to have dc2 and take 1, maybe 2 weeks off as holiday and then go back to work with them in tow. Dc1 will be around 3 by then and i would drop him at nursery around 11am then dp would pick him up when he finishes around 4pm.
I remember the super tired early days with ds1 but his was mainly due to colic. Apart from being tired what the sort of downsides to this? My job is not difficult I could do it while tired and its only for a short while in the day.
Maybe I'm just glazing it over but I don't remember ds doing a whole lot till he was around 7/8 months apart from eating, sleeping a pooing.

OP posts:
HarryTheHungryHippo · 16/07/2013 07:45

I'm*
And*

OP posts:
ihearsounds · 16/07/2013 07:51

CS.
Stitches.
Reflux.
Not sleeping, there was no way could I have driven being so tired because my reactions were extremely slow.
Child care for a baby that is a week or 2 could be a major problem.

RobotBananas · 16/07/2013 07:52

Is there a particular reason you don't want to take mat leave?

Will you be able to do your job with constant feeding/ nappies etc?

LastButOneSplash · 16/07/2013 07:54

You can't legally go back that soon. There's a minimum amount of mat leave. I also physically couldn't have gone back for several months due to the birth which could happen.

MortifiedAdams · 16/07/2013 07:54

Why would you want to only have a fortnight off? I was still.worried.my stomach would fall out of my vagina every cough/sneeze at two weeks!

Take the rest.

TimeofChange · 16/07/2013 07:54

I think you are planning to take the baby to work with you.

I suppose it is up to your boss.

Does he want a baby at work with you.

Ask him.

NewAtThisMalarky · 16/07/2013 08:02

Legally you have to take six weeks off.

RobotBananas · 16/07/2013 08:04

I've just checked, and you only have to take 2 weeks off (it says you have to take 4 if you work in a factory)

IneedAsockamnesty · 16/07/2013 08:07

No you don't in the uk the legal minimum for maternity leave is 2 weeks. Unless you work in a dangerous environment that is specified in the legislation I think that's only a factory then its 4 weeks.

Nobody can force you to take any more but you HAVE to take the minimum requirement.

NewAtThisMalarky · 16/07/2013 08:10

Oops, sorry!

deXavia · 16/07/2013 08:13

So much depends on what you do and really really how flexible your boss is.
A friend did this but she was co-owner and so pretty much set up a baby room, breast fed whenever the baby wanted and worked the hours she wanted/could. However it was her own company so I guess that was motivation.
Would your boss really want you back that soon? Is it a financial issue? Of course you could do it - many women in many countries do this. But the question really comes out as why do you want to?

mollythetortoise · 16/07/2013 08:13

I don't see why not if your job is as easty as you say it is and your boss is happy with the arrangement. I guess it depends on birth really. I know I could have gone back to work 2 weeks after second child born as i had an easy birth and a very easy baby. I didn't though.

HarryTheHungryHippo · 16/07/2013 08:15

Yes I'd be taking baby with me.
The reason is that I like my boss, we get on great and I have worked there for 5 years now.
1: I don't want to leave her in the lurch to find another carer, she struggles with where she lives and when I had ds had to get an agency in which she hated and then cancel them when I wanted to come back which is also unfair and it would be a financial struggle for her to fund my materninty ( I know she get it back but not straight away as far as I'm aware?)
2 I don't want to give up that job as its perfect while I study etc over the next 4 years

OP posts:
RobotBananas · 16/07/2013 08:26

If your boss is happy with it,and you're happy to do it then go for it.

Have a contingency in place though in case of any difficulty after the birth - agency carers could do a few weeks if there is any kind of problem, surely?

ArabellaBeaumaris · 16/07/2013 08:30

If your boss is willing to give it a try why not? Sounds like you have the sort of job that a baby could come along to, maybe in a baby carrier so you have your hands free?

ShadowStorm · 16/07/2013 10:45

I'd be looking into putting contingency plans in place just in case things don't go smoothly enough for you to start working again quite as soon as you hope.

If you have a difficult birth or a baby that's not a very easy baby then 2 weeks may not be enough time off.

HarryTheHungryHippo · 16/07/2013 21:12

Thanks for the advice everyone, yeah I'm sure shed be happy to keep agency on call but even if they couldn't cover at such late notice she can cope without me and its not a huge deal
I do have lots of baby carriers and slings I kept from ds so could use them but my job is mostly sitting anyway so would prob take a bounce or something for baby.
Didn't know if I was having a bit of false memory syndrome thinking that ds didn't really do a whole lot at that age

OP posts:
Maryann1975 · 16/07/2013 21:27

My second baby was so different from my first. And the third was different from the other two. Also factor in that as well as caring for a new born baby you also have the care of your first child to think about. I know she goes to nursery but some children get quite upset and can be knocked emotionally when they have a new sibling at home. Not saying it isn't doable but I think it is probably difficult to say how you will cope until the time comes.

HooverFairy · 16/07/2013 21:30

My baby was really easy as a newborn, I probably could have taken him to work if it wasn't for the crippling exhaustion from night feeds and being overweight after about a month. I was recovering from labour for a month, I couldn't have gone to work before a month.

On the one hand, you could if the baby was easy enough but what about when the baby gets a bit older? I found 4-6 months was difficult because he couldn't support himself yet wanted to be all over the place, so not sure how that would work? On the other hand, the baby would be used to the environment by this age and so would you so that might make things easier.

Just make sure you wouldn't regret not having the time with the baby.

themaltesecat · 16/07/2013 21:31

I think, personally, it's madness.

pooquickly · 16/07/2013 22:11

what themaltesecat said.

It really depends on the birth and the temperament of your second baby.
My first was a really difficult baby. I couldn't do anything else. Second much easier.
Knowing how difficult it can be, I wouldn't recommend it.

forevergreek · 16/07/2013 22:53

Slightly different but myself and dh have worked from home since ds1 was small . Only one of us home at a time, the other in office. It's worked really well for us and we now have ds2 as well. They are now 2 and 3 years and on days working from home we do around 8-12 hrs working. Work 6-8.00am whilst they sleep, 1-3pm whilst nap, 3-4.30 ish they play together, have snack and we just keep an eye (usually set up some play dough, crayons, puzzles etc for them before). Then 6 onwards finish up whilst the other parent takes over as arrives home.
Some days they attend nursery 9-12.30, so on those days the parent at home will work 6am-12.15, then finish up whilst they nap or in evening.
Averages out at 50 hours work either at home or in office each.

As small babies they generally slept in sling. And when newborn and 1 year old together we just worked at home when they napped or in eve when they slept.

Myself and dh work very well as a tag team though

Permanentlyexhausted · 16/07/2013 23:31

As others have said you will need to take off the legal minimum of 2 weeks after the birth.

Your boss would be wise to consider the insurance implications of a member of staff having their children at work with them. Obviously fine in some settings but not in others.

littleblackno · 17/07/2013 00:49

Are you a Personal Assistant? Does your boss get a DP to pay you? Sorry if i've got this totally wrong and i'm on the wrong track but if you are, are you sure you can meet your bosses needs with a baby in tow? Are there insurance implications? As someone who works in this area i would be happy knowing that a PA was there with a newborn baby, therefore possibly not able to concentrate fully on their role, what if something happened and you were looking after your baby? New borns are demanding even if they don't 'do' much, there is no routine as such. It sounds ideal but you do need to do whats right for you and your baby. If she likes you and wants you back then she will have to cope until you are able to return. It's not a problem for her to cancel agency - thats the nature of that work. It is unlikely your boss will be out of pocket and she should get advice on this.
Sorry again if i've got this wrong!

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