AIBU or plain bonkers?

[Maya1974]

My sons' Nanny has been with us since he was 6 months old and has become a member of the family. She has a daughter who has become good friends with my son. Everything has been fine until my sister made an observation.

I did a Montessori Child Education Course. The Nanny did the same a few months later. I paid for the course because I thought it was great she was developing herself and planning for a career post being a nanny.

I enrolled for a social work degree. The Nanny did the same. She asked if I could help out with the fees but I said I couldn't.

I decided to register as a foster carer with the borough. The nanny did the same. She was turned down - I don't know the reason why.

I am currently pregnant with my second and a few weeks back, the nanny told me she's having baby number 2. I'm happy for her but wonder how she'll cope financially. She complains about her finances but I try hard not to commit to anything with her, my only obligation to her is to pay her salary as and when due.

We are going to Bodrum in August and I mentioned it to the Nanny. She told me last week she's going to Bodrum as well and wanted a loan from me to pay for the trip. I told her I couldn't afford a loan.

I didn't think anything untowards until my sister made the observation. Now it's all I think about.

Should I be worried?

Yup, it's weird.

Do you have any pet rabbits?

Single White Female. ....

CREEPY

And she's using you. Back away, fast.

It sounds very odd as does she!

Make plans to begin distancing yourself, however hard that may prove to be what with her being your Nanny.

Haha.....no rabbit, a golden retriever, and she wanted one awhile back but her landlady said no...

I hardly dare ask - but what does the man in your life make of all this? What is his relationship with her like?

My son is starting reception in September and I might have to let her go or reduce her hours BUT she has been dropping hints she's happy to continue working with me. I feel bad but I honestly can't offer her hours I don't have and with both of us having a new baby around the same time, it will be cruel to expect her to keep working. I just feel really bad about all this, my son does love her.

Worrying. I would be detaching myself bit by bit and start looking for alternative childcare. As she has already told you that she's pregnant then you will need to be clear on employment law. It is not up to you to wonder about how she will cope financially.

Cozietoesie,
He doesn't like her, she's not crazy about him either....he thinks she's being inappropriate with her requests but he tolerates her.

She sounds like a nut job. Make her redundant when you need to. don't let her guilt you. Your relationship does not sound in the slightest professional.

Let her go and breathe a sigh of relief.

Are you sure it's a Nanny and you're not carrying a mirror around with you? Or maybe it's your shadow!

Yeah, she's odd. And I agree with your DH, her requests are inappropriate.

It's so weird that I was oblivious to all the above until my sis remarked on them. I truly hate making people upset but I see I have to work up the steel to let her go on good terms.

Thank you for all the comments. Really.

Perfect excuse that your ds starts school and she's no longer needed.

Be tough on this, I suspect she'll attempt to cling on to you for dear life.

Whatever you do, do not rent the movie single white female... Do not!!! You won't ever sleep again. Dare I ask... Has she copied your hair style?

Hahaha....saw the movie eons ago...I have fringes on, and she did cut her hair like mine once but decided she didn't like it...:)

Can't believe you never noticed ANYTHING until it was pointed out to you! Very odd.

Is she a foreign national? Why wasn't she funded/entitled to tuition fee loans for the SW degree?

She's from Bulgaria, and I guess I didn't notice or think it was odd because I assumed she was trying to better herself and needed a role model? Besides, who would want my life? Things are tough enough as it is....

Make her redundant when you on maternity leave - you just don't need a nanny anymore..

Why have you kept on a nanny your DH doesn't like?

If I didn't like someone who looked after my DD's, there's no way I'd let it carry on.

And now you're not sure of her either.

Nothing at all to feel bad about at all, your DS will soon move on, it's you and his Dad who are important to him, and you'll be there if he does miss her.

What I meant to say was that your DS is more important than a few social niceties. You and your DH don't like her, you should listen to your instincts.

Be firm and don't let her manipulate you into feeling guilty or responsible for her and the first whiff of any harassment, call the police

That is very very weird behaviour.

Let her go asap! Your son will miss her for a while and then just won't care anymore. Honestly she sounds barking. I'd be very uncomfortable with her being anywhere near me in your shoes.

Get rid.