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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

... to say that this aquaintance is in the wrong, however well intentioned

18 replies

WyrdMother · 13/07/2013 16:32

I and DH were socialising with a group of parents while our children played. One parent had recently brought something for their child, which we admired and agreed was a bargain. They suggested that we get one for our DD, we thought about it, then DH said that both children having exactly the same might cause confusion (think along the lines of two girls in the same class having the same coat) I said something like "Hmm, true" and the matter dropped.

A week and a half later I got a phone call from the acquaintance saying that they had been in the shop where the item was sold, that they'd noticed the special offer stocks were getting low and they had brought one and would bring it round to our house where I could pay them back.

I told the acquaintance politely that we didn't want it and they should take it back, they got offended and insisted that we'd said we would definitely get one, we didn't.

I go past this shop at least once a week, if we'd changed our minds I could have easily got one myself, or I could have made a special trip, it's not an epic journey.

Anyway, I have stuck to my guns and they, after justifying themselves and suggesting that I am being ungrateful, have retired looking hurt.

This is not a good friend, but they are part of the social group.

The item cost less than £10.00, but paying for it (thanks to a bunch of end of term costs, plays, raffles, parties etc and the Mortgage going out) would have left me with about £7.50 to last me until Friday (unless I dipped into holiday savings).

I think I'm being reasonable in sticking to my guns (but tell me if you don't agree), but I'm also wondering if I'm being reasonable in thinking this was all a bit odd.

What do you think?

OP posts:
LoveBeingUpAt4InTheMorning · 13/07/2013 16:34

They were trying to be nice but should really have checked

YouTheCat · 13/07/2013 16:34

The acquaintance sounds bloody odd. You hadn't said you wanted the item anyway.

GoofyIsACow · 13/07/2013 16:35

I think YWNBU, it is odd if you told them the jist of paragraph 1.

cherryflip · 13/07/2013 16:36

Sick too ya guns
A little odd, yes

Squitten · 13/07/2013 16:45

YANBU! Your friend sounds very odd

WyrdMother · 13/07/2013 16:45

YouTheCat They were there when we said it, though I wasn't looking at them to check they were listening, I was talking to my husband, maybe I shall have to give them some benefit of the doubt on oddness.

OP posts:
LunaticFringe · 13/07/2013 16:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BackforGood · 13/07/2013 16:50

They no doubt thought they were being kind, but you can't go spending someone else's money without getting specific permission from them first.

CaptainSweatPants · 13/07/2013 16:50

What is it??

squeakytoy · 13/07/2013 16:52

I dont think its all that odd.. just a bit of confusion, and helpful intentions too by the sounds of it. I would have just said, "great but I will have to pay you at the end of the month as I am broke".. and if they werent happy with that, then they could take it back.

As for two identical coats.. lots of kids have the same coat, thats why they have their names sewn into them. So it isnt a clear comparison.

WyrdMother · 13/07/2013 16:53

I'm being intentionally mysterious about what it was. Wink

OP posts:
WyrdMother · 13/07/2013 17:04

Squeakytoy I agree, lots of kids have the same coat, my DD's coat has gone to the wrong house twice because it was similar to another's child's and it has her name in it, not the end of the world but a bit of nuisance when you can't get hold of the family who had it. It's part of the reason that we weren't keen on our DD having something exactly the same as a classmate, we could see it being a low grade pain in the bum, stuff put in the wrong bags etc (seems to happen a lot with P.E. bags).

OP posts:
WyrdMother · 13/07/2013 17:12

Since I've mentioned bags I might as well say it was a book bag, just a tougher version of the one given out by the school, but with reflectors and a shoulder strap. Obviously I suck at being mysterious.

OP posts:
babyhmummy01 · 13/07/2013 17:18

It was a nice gesture, but to get an arse on cos you explained you didn't want it is just silly. Chalk it up to brains fried by heat and move on xx

DoJo · 13/07/2013 18:04

It does sound like a nice gesture, and if you weren't skint at the moment I would have said to just give them the money to avoid any ill-feeling as they obviously misunderstood, unless they are odder than you could have possibly realised! However, considering it would be quite an inconvenience to you to pay for it, then I don't think it's unreasonable to stick to your guns and politely refuse.

BlazinStoke · 13/07/2013 18:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KobayashiMaru · 13/07/2013 18:12

bought.

WyrdMother · 13/07/2013 20:22

Thanks for all the replies, I've since spoken to someone from the group and apparently there's a bit of a power struggle going on between this person and someone else, they might be feeling a bit pushed out. I don't get involved much, avoid Facebook and all that, so didn't know what was going on. I think this may explain why they got upset.

I'll do my best to smooth over any ill feeling short of buying the bag.

OP posts:
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