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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell my mum to use a chopping board on my worktops?

24 replies

Hellonewworld · 13/07/2013 13:01

My dm was chopping pineapple with a sharp knife on my worktops and I asked her politely if she could plead use a chopping board as the knife was going to scratch and mark my worktop, she replied 'big deal, its not your house anyway' as we are in a rented property. So was i being trivial and ott in asking her to not do this?

OP posts:
pjmama · 13/07/2013 13:04

Hell no! How bloody rude of her, it's a rental so we don't care - shitty attitude.

purplemurple1 · 13/07/2013 13:07

I'm a LL so I've got to say YANBU - you should care for the property a bit at least, you've got to live in it and it can affect your deposit afterall.

Vivacia · 13/07/2013 13:07

Sounds like a rude response from someone caught making a mistake. Graceless and disrespectful on her part. You were not being unreasonable.

Whothefuckfarted · 13/07/2013 13:08

YANBU. Cheeky cunt!

DontmindifIdo · 13/07/2013 13:10

I'd say to her that it matters more because it's a rental property - tell her you will still have to live with it if it's own or rented, and you might be charged for replacing it.

MidniteScribbler · 13/07/2013 13:11

I would go absolutely %#@$ing mental if someone didn't use a chopping board on my workbenches! YANBU!

Jan49 · 13/07/2013 13:11

No, she was rude. There's even more reason to be careful in a rented property because you are likely to leave in the next few years and could be charged for the scratched worktop, whereas in your own house you might not be bothered about the scratches.

KirjavaTheCat · 13/07/2013 13:15

It's a reasonable expectation to have scratch-free (though obviously not perfect) worktops when your tenant moves out. Worktop savers/chopping boards aren't expensive, you can get them at the pound shop! You could be charged if they're damaged. Yanbu! Terrible attitude.

Original poster
Hellonewworld · 13/07/2013 13:21

This is not the first problem I've had with her this week unfortunately the other day she was caught giving 8 month old DD chips and fizzy pop and when I asked her about it she accused me of criticising her and came out with 'well you lived didn't you' but that's a whole other story Hmm

OP posts:
Sparkletastic · 13/07/2013 13:23

Is she staying with you? Keep her under close surveillance if so. She seems to have little respect for you or for good manners.

PetiteRaleuse · 13/07/2013 13:31

YANBU, as a tenant I always treat my rented properties as my own. Not only due to the deposit but just as respect for someone else's property.

However, whothefuckfarted , was there any need to refer to the OP's mum in that way? Really?

Lonecatwithkitten · 13/07/2013 13:41

You could point out that the knives are yours and using them on the work top blunts them faster.

DontmindifIdo · 13/07/2013 13:44

ok, put with the feeding your DD food that is not appropriate and not accepting you have a right to tell her not too, then I think you need to have a word about the fact that this is your home, not hers. These are your DCs, your family and you make the decisions. While you are sure she did the best for her DCs (ie you) that doesn't mean she doesn't have to defer to your judgement with your DCs. Just because she wouldn't treat a rental property as a home doesn't give her the right to think it's ok to trash this one. (It's not just that you'd have to pay for it being fixed, it's also that you'd have to live with scratched worksurfaces, I don't look after my kitchen because I'm keen on increasing the resale value, I look after my kitchen because I want to use a kitchen that's not trashed.)

Basically, read her the riot act, it seems her attitude towards you is dismissive and quite frankly a bit shitty. You don't have to put up with that just because the person doing it is your mum. If she can't treat you and your stuff a little better, show her the door.

PurpleRayne · 13/07/2013 14:14

Ask her if she would like to makeup the shortfall when your deposit isn't returned in full.

Is she always this unpleasant?

Original poster
Hellonewworld · 13/07/2013 14:21

She is hard work, I have to pick my battles though.

OP posts:
DameFanny · 13/07/2013 14:31

You don't have to pick your battles though - you can just not meet her unless it's for an hour in a café or something...

InLoveWithDavidTennant · 13/07/2013 15:29

yanbu! we rent... we treat the houses we live in with respect, like they are our own. landlords/letting agents can keep a huge chunk of your deposit (if not all) for the most minor thing. anyone that did that to us would not be coming back!

ouryve · 13/07/2013 15:34

YANBU - it would scratch your worktop and ruin your knife.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 13/07/2013 15:37

You should point out to her that 1) it's your home and you want it to stay nice 2) when you ask someone to respect your home you expect them to do so and 3) that when you leave your rented home, the landlord will deduct from your deposit anything needed to repair things. So it does matter. cos it will cost you money.

Eyesunderarock · 13/07/2013 15:40

She sounds more like a rude teenager than your parent, I'd go with the landlord charging you for any damage.

Gruntfuttock · 13/07/2013 16:07

Her behavior is obnoxious.

Gruntfuttock · 13/07/2013 16:11

I wouldn't be spending any time with someone who had zero respect for me, no matter who they were.

Whothefuckfarted · 13/07/2013 17:13

No need but I like the word cunt Grin

specialsubject · 13/07/2013 17:25

well done on growing up with some respect for property, given that she clearly doesn't have any.

regardless of the fact that you will get charged for damage, why does the fact that it isn't yours mean it can be damaged? Does she drop litter, key cars and so on?

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