I am new to this, should a comment about behaviour nine months ago upset me?

[mpsssm]

Hi

I was upset about something earlier and asked a friend if I was being unreasonable about it... She pointed me in the direction of mumsnet as she said I would actually get more honest answers (which is what I want!) then by asking friends.

My mum looks after my three year old whilst I work. On Tuesday she was visited by some friends whilst my son as there. Her first comment on seeing my son was " I saw him at the museum bus day, he was being really naughty."

To my shame (at the time), this woman did see my son tantruming at the museum. This was because we took him off a bus he wanted to be on. The tantrum lasted five minutes max. Why do I never meet anyone when he is good?

However, this incident was in September. She has not seen him since but this is the third time she has mentioned his behaviour on that one occasion to my mum.

I feel hurt by this. This woman has in the past been friendly to me and was very kind when my son was born. Why does she keep bringing up one incident of naughtiness? She did it in front of him as well.

I want to write a letter to her. I am not brave enough to speak to her face. I would like to say that she has been kind to me in the past but could she please stop passing comment on my family. Would I be unreasonable to do this

Please don't write a letter. You are being very PFB (precious first born). Children have tantrums. It's not a big deal.

Move on.

You will look like a twit!

What has your mum said to her on each occasion she's brought it up?

Could your mum say something like, 'Nine months is a very long time in terms of a child's development, he grew out of that stage months ago'. Sounds like this woman knows nothing about children.

Yes, you'd be unreasonable, and over-reacting. It was ages ago, and just a passing comment.

Do you dwell on things generally, or suffer from anxiety? It's a shame you are still letting this unsettle you.

Kids have tantrums. He wasn't being naughty by the way just expressing himself lol

Don't worry about it. Most people would look at a parent with a hissy fitting kid and just be glad that today it isn't them.

As you were.

Oh yes, don't write the letter!

Thanks for your replies

Oh yes, I do sometimes over react. Funnily enough about the things I tell others not to over react about!

My mum's reply was quite interesting: on this occasion the woman had seemed very surprised that my son had blond hair: people often are as my husband and I are very dark. However, he has been blond since he lost his baby hair and she has seen him a bit.

My mum said: are you sure it was X, if you thought he had dark hair?

This is certainly a quick way to get replies!

Seeing as I am not writing a letter, I might clean the kitchen floor now

Oh, the sun's over the yardarm now- sit down and have a drink!

What BOF said!

If you are in U.K., its much too hot and late to be cleaning the kitchen floor.

I sometimes dwell too much on little things too if I think someone has got the wrong impression.

Not worth the letter though - put her straight if it comes up again but other than that time to relax - and no cleaning :)